Throughout the years of the existence of studying game, there are certain dating standards that are thrown at guys as if they were truths written by God’s own hand: you must cold approach daily, don’t take a girl to dinner on the first date, isolate, isolate, and isolate.
While many of these are absolute fundamentals in an aspiring player’s repertoire, the one that always seemed unrealistic was “looks don’t matter.”
Seduction material can come from two different directions: 1. Genuinely learned and tested theories that become apparent to anyone over time, or 2. Some dude is trying to sell a book by trying to reach as many
potential buyers as possible.
When it comes to “looks don’t matter,” there may be some true in both spheres, but it’s way more sales hype than anything else. How do I know?
I was fat.
It’s true. Up until two years ago, I was a fat dude. At 5-feet 8-inches tall, I usually tipped the scales at 215 pounds, but at my worst I weighed in at a full 240 pounds.
It sounds like I’m setting up to make the argument for blowing up the “looks don’t matter” argument, but truthfully I did pretty well for myself back then. In terms of how often I would get laid, it hasn’t changed since I lost the weight. The problem was that the quality of women I was hooking up with was mediocre. Usually they’d be slightly
cute chubby girls, and on a good day, I would make pull a cute girl with an average body.
On my 31st birthday, I decided to do an experiment that would test my ability to accomplish whatever goal I set my mind to, as well as tested the concept that “looks don’t matter.” I promised myself one year to stay totally focused on my diet and exercise habits everyday, except for a Sunday cheat day.
And I didn’t let myself down. I went to the gym everyday, and maintained an impeccable diet. I did way more cardio than I’d ever done, and I whittled myself down on a fairly slow pace. I made it all manageable because I was creating a lifestyle focused on healthy living, rather than dieting for a few months and falling right back into bad habits.
On my 32nd birthday I weighed 170 pounds. Never in my life was my weight so low. People were calling me skinny, and I had the makings of a fledgling six-pack. I had far surpassed my goal, and had actually entered into a fairly elite fitness level.
Over one year, I had lost 70 pounds. And while that seems like an intimidating number, remember I did this over the course of one year, which works out to about 6 pounds lost per month. The key was consistency. I never made an excuse to skip a workout, and I rarely broke my diet.
But, there were larger questions to be answered, most importantly, the effect that the weight loss had on women:
1. Without a doubt, for the first time in my life, I was getting very
obvious Indicators of Interest. It made me feel so uncomfortable I
couldn’t figure out what to do with it for months. Women would
stare at me in grocery stores, try to catch my gaze at bars, and
even, once, stopped their car to tell me I was cute. Completely
2. Whenever I get involved in an interaction, there’s a hell of a lot
less resistance than there used to be. Women more easily laugh at
my stupid sense of humor, I have to do less negging, and I get
rejected a lot less. When I was heavier my game had to be super
tight, now I can get away with a hell of a lot more, which usually
leads to a much more enjoyable interaction.
3. This is rare, but some girls just want to fuck me now. They don’t
want any bullshit interactions, they don’t want to be romanced,
they don’t want to be gamed – they just want to get fucked by a
guy they think has a hot body. It’s fantastic.
4. When I am having sex with women, they are a lot more forward in
their enthusiasm to have sex. When I was heavier, it wasn’t that
she did or didn’t enjoy it, but I knew that I had worked my way
into it, and I would have to work her until she realized I’m great
in bed. But now that women sexually attracted to me physically,
it’s just a much hotter interaction from the beginning. They want
to touch me more, they want to feel my body on them more, they
like the way my muscles feel, etc.
5. There is a complete improvement in the quality of women I’ve been
able to hook up with. While in the past I typically hooked up with
6s (assuming it’s the lowest for “acceptable” women, i.e. cute
chubby girls or slightly unattractive girls with decent bodies),
with the occasional 7, that number bumped up a step to where I
regularly hook up with 7s, with the rare 8.
I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass. Everybody knows that exercise and having a healthy diet are good for themselves. Everybody that’s overweight wants to get skinnier both to better their lives and to just
feel better in general.
Whatever. From my perspective all the work and dedication was worth it just to improve the quality of women in my life.
So to answer the initial question, is a guy’s ability to meet women dependent on how good he looks? Of course not. Can it improve quality of woman and quality of interaction? Hell yes.