We’ve all experienced it and it sucks. You’ve met a cute girl in a bar or club, things are escalating, you’ve even made out with her and then, boom! Her fat friend emerges out of nowhere like an iceberg to the Titantic, grabs her friend by the hand and whisks her away, while tossing back an insult somewhere along the lines of this, “Leave my friend alone!”
So how do you counter-attack this scenario that is inevitable? Here’s 3 strategies that can be used in a bar, club or party.
1. Befriend Them
I hate having to entertain annoying, ugly fat girls. Sometimes though, the one cockblocking you is actually cute. Despite her looks, you have to focus on the one you’re trying to pull, while engaging the cockblocker. One way to do this is to befriend them. Even for the most callous, hateful bitch or asshole, showing friendliness can often defuse the situation. By fully engaging them and not trying to cut them out of the interaction between yourself and your ‘target’, you can overwhelm them into backing off. Example:
Target: I’m having sooo much fun!
You: As you should
(Cockblocker running up to Target)
Cockblocker: Oh my god, I’ve been looking everywhere for you, are you OK?!!!
You: Slow down there, what’s your name?
Cockblocker: Um, Becky
You: Cute name. Let me tell you a secret.
(Leaning into the cockblocker to whisper in their ear. Girls LOVE secrets)
You: I’m digging your friend, any tips?
“But McQueen, that’s BETA!” You’re correct, it is, but not to the group. Remember, you’re WHISPERING into the cockblock’s ear. You’re alpha bearing is not being dented because your target can’t hear what you’re saying. Think ultimate goal here: get into the pants of the girl. Utilize social charm and IQ to do that.
Cockblocker: She’s awesome! She’s my BEST friend! Ummm…she loves Twilight and likes ice cream
You: You’re the best (wink)
Now addressing the group:
You: Let’s go have a quick smoke (directed to your target)
Grab her hand and go. The cockblocker will feel as though she has bonded with you now and that her friend is in good hands. Skip the smoke and head for a taxi. It works. Try it.
2. Accuse Them
This one can be tricky and requires that you have built up significant rapport with the girl you’re talking with, but deadly when done right. Every girl wants to think that she has the best interest of her girlfriends at heart and when you challenge that they can be quite defensive. Example:
You: (arm around your target’s neck leaned back)
Her: You smell good
You: I know (wink)
(Cockblock barreling up stumbling into people with her rotound figure and spilling her drink on club patrons)
Cockblock: Where have you been?!
Her: Right here the whole time
Notice the mood of your target when the cockblock approaches and if it changes. Is she engaging of her cockblocking friend or does she noticeably stiffen up expecting what she’s used to: Getting cockblocked herself.
You: Why wouldn’t she be ok? (Smiling)
Cockblock: There’s alot of creeps in the world!
You: It’s your friend’s lucky day because I stopped creeping yesterday (wink)
Her: (laughing) You’re definitely not creepy
You: No shit.
Cockblock: Well I don’t know you, so how do I know you’re not a creep?
You: Your friend has excellent taste. Don’t you trust her?
Cockblock: Umm well yea of course
You: Good. See you in a bit.
Take your girl by the hand and leave the vicinity. Lead and Be Bold. Never look back.
3. Ignore Them
This one is my favorite and is POWERFUL as f*ck when you are congruent in your body language and what you say. Essentially, you create a vibe that you are so ino tyour target when you approach her, that her cockblocking orbitors have no affect on you. You’re THAT powerful. You’re THAT badass. You’re THAT alpha.
This entire interaction you’re completely focused on your target addressing solely her.
(You approaching the group of 3 girls and 1 guy)
You: You know it’s rude to stare without saying ‘hello’ right? (winking at Target)
Cockblocker: Excuse me, do we know you??
You: (still focused on target) Is she always so mean to cute guys?
Her: (Laughing) She’s had a long day. I wasn’t staring, but I did notice you
You: Likewise. I think your friends might jump me in a minute, lets grab a shot.
You take her by the hand and walk away to the bar.
This may seem outlandish but A LOT of cockblockers will back the f*ck down when you show such dominance and the ability to be unfased by their stupidity.
Good luck trying these strategies out. More to come.
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