It’s The Chef here with some highlights of the past 3 months of coaching with Christian McQueen in Los Angeles:
Hitting up popping (and a bit sketchy) “after hours” club somewhere in Ktown at 2am. Christian opens a girl for me, that I end up dating for the next month.
Watching McQueen deal with his women. It’s hard to explain unless you see it in person, but he truly has it down to an art form.
My personal favorite: We hit up a swank Santa Monica hotel on Saturday night and spend the evening drinking and hitting on chicks. Both of us decide to take Monday off and we meet up that Sunday night and Christian is in THE SAME OUTFIT as I last saw him. He hadn’t slept…instead just kept the party going and had been drinking all day at another day party. I think he’s still recovering from the 34-hour bender.
My game has definitely bumped up a few notches from Christian’s personal coaching and here are some tips for you all.
4) Chat up and flirt with girls when you’re out, but also talk to EVERYONE else to keep up your good vibe. This may not make any sense at first, but I’ve seen Christian, for complete self-amusement, go up to random ugly chicks and chat them up, or he’ll high-five dudes he’s never met. What I realized was he was doing this to keep himself in a fun, upbeat state and to spread out good vibes. Others around him would notice and it would make it easier to spark attraction with girls we would cold approach.
The worst thing you can do is after approaching and either number closing or getting rejected, is to just stand there and sulk. Instead, say “fuck it” and go make friends.
3) Numbers mean nothing, so get A LOT, especially if you’re a player in development. There was a time where if I got one number from a cute girl I thought I “hit it off with” I’d have a big smile on my face and feel like I “accomplished something” on a night out.
Then reality hits. She texts “I can’t this week, but maybe next week” (which 9 out of 10 times means NOPE) or she flakes on a date. I used to be annoyed and confused by this behavior…why would she be so cold after our first encounter went well?
Now, I’m much more chill and aim to grab a few digits during a night out. I’ll hit the girls up and just play the numbers game. In fact, it’s tricky to schedule dates sometimes because with all my other post-work activates, there aren’t a lot of time free evenings. Next up I want to learn how to plan two dates in a night.
2) When you’re out, don’t waste time with women you’re chatting with. Instead, test the waters to see where you’re at with her. I once chatted up a beautiful Colombian girl at the W Hotel in Hollywood for 20 minutes, got her number and felt awesome. A day later, she never texted me back, so I waited a few days to hit her up, and tried again to no avail. Looking back, I asked for a little compliance by trying to move her a few steps away from a fire pit she was near for warmth, but she refused to budge. That’s a small red flag, because if a girl is intrigued by you and you ask her to move a few feet to the right for whatever “reason,” she would comply. This wasn’t the case.
Another time, I talked to a girl for all of 3 minutes, and got her number easily. She responds to my texts and we setup a date. The difference was this girl, was standing around, somewhat eyeing the crowd for some male attention, and I swooped in.
Lesson: learn to watch for signals and go for small acts of compliance.
1) Put what you learn to use: approach girls a minimum of 3-4 times a week. I admit I’m a lucky dude for winning free coaching time, but if all I did was just go out once a week and approach with Christian MY GAME WOULD NOT IMPROVE. It’s like expecting to get strong and muscular, but only lifting once a week. It won’t do much.
Personally, I aim to game 1-2 weekend nights and hit up a happy hour or networking event to meet girls 1-2 weekday evenings.
A few tips:
Pick a classy lounge or bar near your place to become a regular at. Get to know the bartenders and staff and showup at least once a week Mon-Thurs, so you can get to know them. Now you have a place to meet girls or bring girls where you have High Social Value.
Join networking groups that bring in girls. There are lots of groups with focuses on film, fashion, drinking, etc. My personal favorite is an international networking group called “A Small World.”
I hope these tips help. Now go forward, approach, learn from your mistakes and enjoy improving your game.
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