How To Pimp Out Your Bachelor Pad In 9 Easy Steps


Note: All of these suggestions I’m giving you can be done for relatively cheap, so don’t get discouraged, more than likely you can afford these and who knows, keep pushing yourself in every aspect of your life and maybe you just will get an indoor water slide and pool one day.

#9. Carpet Fresh

I’m dead serious. If you have carpet in your home, then don’t just run a vacuum over it, well, at least not before you sprinkle some of this magic dust first. I swear by this and it’s cheaper than a 6″ sub from Subway.

I’ve been using this particular brand (Arm & Hammer Carpet Odor Eliminator) for a while now and the quality cannot be beat. The best part? I get it for under $3 at my local grocery store. Cheap, effective and I’ll guarantee you that when you have that sexy girl over for a home-cooked date, she’ll comment on how good your apartment smells.

This is especially good if you have a dog. If you have a cat, I’m not even going to comment.


#8. Candles

This one is a no-brainer, but we all need a friendly reminder once in a while. I recommend Yankee Candles for how strong the odor is and how long these monsters last, but they can be a bit pricey. Regardless, if money is tight, then just get some from your local pharmacy and set the mood.

Pro-Tip: I hate decorating, but an interior designer I used to get naked with, gave me this tip for how my candle presentation could be. I listened and they look better. The best part? Cost me less than $10 at IKEA. And what’s more masculine than a piece of wood and some rocks?


#7. A Bar

Doesn’t matter if you don’t have an actual bar setup by your kitchen, you can set up a portable bar in a corner of your pad. Not only does it look sick, but making a drink will become an enjoyable process instead of dumping ice into a red plastic cup like you’re back in college. If you are in college, then more power to you and save some co-eds for me. There’s nothing like freshman ass.

I got distracted writing about ass, where was I? That’s right, alcohol. Here’s one that’s around $250, but furniture and stuff like this is an investment, so it’s actually pretty cheap and will take your pad up to the next level.

Get a shaker, some shot glasses, martini glasses and a silver ice bucket and you’re good to go.


#6. Stripper Pole

It might sound nuts, but if you’re prone for throwing parties, or like to be the man who gets girls to reveal their kinky side, then a stripper pole is worth getting. If you’re really shy about having one installed at your pad, then opt for a portable one and bust it out next time you throw a party. Don’t be surprised if the ‘shyest’ girl at the party jumps on it after some Tequila shots though.

Prices will range all over the place, but for around $100 you can turn your living room into your personal strip club, without ‘making it rain’.


#5. Comfortable Couch

This item could also be put under the ‘no-brainer’ category, but look at that key word before ‘couch’, yes, ‘comfortable’. Make sure you have a badass looking couch, but not just one that looks good, but also feels good. Never underestimate the power of a comfortable couch when you have a sexy girl on it. The couch can either cockblock you, or be your best ‘wingman’.

You don’t have to break the bank either. Check Craigslist for factory deals where you can get one at a wholesale price.

Pro-Tip: Stick with black for your color. Won’t show stains easily, looks masculine and matches damn near everything.

#4. Frame Your Art And Posters

You can turn the look around of your bachelor pad in mere seconds, by sliding your favorite posters and art work into FRAMES. Don’t skimp on this necessary accessory and you can thank me later. Tape is NOT for holding your posters up. Frame it!

#3. Turn Up The Music

I’m not suggesting that you go out and get a surround sound system, but you should definitely have some sort of speaker set-up so that you can hear your music and not just in a 2 foot radius of your laptop.

Check out Jawbones for a cheap solution that plays off your smartphone and really puts out, while you bang that sexy girl from the club, who also puts out.

shopping (1)

#2. Cut Out The Clutter

Are you a packrat? Then start chucking shit you don’t need, or use. If you really just can’t part ways with your collection of old stuff from when you were 16, then rent a storage unit for next to nothing.

It’s time to get your pad looking clean, minimalist and modern.

Here’s a simple rule to help you get the clutter out and swagger in: If you don’t use an item every day, then put it away.

Remember those books you opened up, but never finished reading? Get a bookshelf, but leave the most interesting one, yea that one of sexy nude women photos, on your coffee table as a conversation piece for company.


#1. Set Up Your Private Office Area

If you don’t have much room, figure out how to make a corner of your bedroom your personal office area. This is where you sit down and work on your studies, your online business, or plan and work on your goals.

You have to make a space for yourself where you can get into a Work Mode.

If you can, make it the most private area possible with what you’re working with. You don’t want guests nosing about in your personal shit, so make it off limits if possible. Like the rest of your pad, keep it clutter-free and organized so when you sit down to work on your personal goals, you can focus and make the most of your time.

In the future I’ll do a post on pimping your pad out with with a bigger budget, but this will get you started. Until then, in what ways do you pimp out your bachelor pad?



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Read More: 4 Steps To Saying ‘Fuck Off’ To Your 9-5

11 Replies to “How To Pimp Out Your Bachelor Pad In 9 Easy Steps”

  1. Dude, thank you and mad respect for the quantity AND quality of posts you’ve been putting out recently! Really good stuff.

    PS What’s wrong with cats?


  2. had a stripper pole in my college apartment. led to awesome memories and sealed many a bang. word to wise: if you have parties or roommates make sure to put a “no dudes or fatties” sign. you dont want them to break that shit when you aren’t around. may sound extreme but tell me its extreme when you shell out a bunch of dough to replace it because some hippo broke it when you were outta town. plus it gets fat girls pissed off and to hopefully leave so 2 birds 1 stone.


  3. Edit to 9 –

    Both condos I own have carpet in them, and the one I live in I get cleaned professionally(it doesnt cost much, find a coupon on groupon) for $50.00 or so every 3 months. It’s part of the upkeep if you entertain pussy in your palace.

    4. – Get some artwork that shows you are grown up, not your childhood comic book poster on the wall.


  4. I moved into my own pad 3 months ago and have been loving the independence. Here’s some more advice I would add:

    – Wireless AirPlay or Sonos speakers. I have one in the bedroom, one in the kitchen, one in the living room, and one at the Mac. With iTunes I can play out of all the speakers at once or set different volume levels on each one. I can walk around the house and control the music with my iPhone wirelessly, which is really slick when you’ve got guests.

    – Philips Hue. It’s a big upfront investment but it’s worth it. Nearly every bulb in my house is a Philips Hue bulb. They’re basically wireless lightbulbs that you can control from an iPhone app, and you can get other accessory lights to add atmosphere. I have cinema presets (very dim dark/purple lighting, with soft ambient diffusion behind the TV), relaxation lights, and even sex lighting presets in the bedroom (my ex girlfriend loved it – dim, red and pink, it looked like a dodgy strip club but actually set the mood pretty well).

    – For your home office, get a glass desk on steel trestles. It looks awesome.

    – 500 thread count plain white bedding, a really decent mattress, and a king sized bed. I’ve never looked back. You spend a third of your life in it so you might as well spoil yourself.

    – Leave the “essentials” out in clear view if you have overnight guests sharing your bed. A couple of girls have thanked me for the new, unwrapped toothbrushes I have in the bathroom, as well as things like make up wipes. Just leave a couple of necessities lying around for when a woman needs to freshen up for you.

    – Less is more! Minimalism makes you look professional, organised, and confident. Have as little stuff as possible lying around.

    – Get a sofa bed if you can find a stylish one. I have a great one, in sofa form it looks stylish but then adds an extra two sleeping spaces if I’m having a party. Guests appreciate it and it’s useful.

    – Get quality kitchenware. Matching sets of clean and modern cutlery and crockery. Simple, stylish crystal glassware. Modern utensils. Just makes you look much more professional in the kitchen.


    1. @ Jack – The glass desk is a definite must. I had the old fake wood computer station for years, and realized that my office was something out of a bad sitcom.

      Love your post man!


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