What To Do When A Girl Says “I’m Not Having Sex With You Tonight”

A phrase that gets thrown around by women on dates often (and I’m noticing an uptick with this trend), is stating that she’s “not having sex with you tonight”. An experienced player sees this for what it is usually, and that’s a shit test. A shit test is essentially a woman testing your experience and sexual prowess with a statement that may or may not be absurd to see how you handle it.

Common examples of shit tests that women will toss out:

“I’m not having sex with you tonight”

“I never fuck on the first date”

“You seem like a player”

“I bet you say that to all the girls”

“I’m not that type of girl”

“I’m not a slut” (usually the more they deny, the more they are)

The list goes on and on, but these are some of the most common ones.

The way to handle this shit test is very simple.

Agree and Amplify.

Here’s some examples that I use which establish you’re unfazed by her need to state a ‘fact’ while remaining unemotional about it.

“Who said we’re having sex tonight? I haven’t figured out if you’re my type yet”

“Who said we’re having sex sweetheart?” 

“Sex? Now I know what’s on your mind”

“Get your mind out of the gutter doll”

“I never have sex before the 7th date”

“Is that all you think about?”

“You’re right. We’re not”

“Beat me to it”

The key is to remain playful and even with a slight condescending attitude when using these. She’s using her hamster to rationalize away that she made it clear that she’s not having sex with you on that date, even if she actually does want to have sex with you. It’s a way of clearing her conscious, so she can later tell her friends that “it just happened”.


Now here is the interesting part that will separate you from the thirsty choads who beg her for sex:

You must not give two flying fucks if you fuck her that night or not. Period. (Reason #58,902 why utilizing the Law Of Abundance is so key to being successful at Game)

When you are having fun and gaming her, of course your ultimate goal is to have sex with her, but you won’t lower yourself into a begging beta bitch boy to do so. You must retain your integrity and be able to look yourself in the mirror when you get home.

Why these ‘lines’ work, is that it shows you’re not defensive, which screams that you’re a man who does not cower and beg, but instead stays the course with charm and confidence. Women will use this line and other shit tests to see if you’re a High Value Male who can deal with her childish statements with grace and ease. The more in control you are, the more she will want to lose control with you. The more you smirk (or smile) at her statements, when her body language tells you otherwise such as her sitting on your lap, kissing you, holding your hand, or even while she’s sucking your dick (yes, I’ve had girls look up and say that line to me, to which I agreed that we weren’t and then she undressed and started riding my cock), the more she will want to have sex with you.

Think about it like this: People want what they cannot have. The more you act like YOU haven’t decided if you want to have sex with her yet (even better if you actually believe it), then the more congruent this is and her female competitive nature will kick in and her sexual desire for you will grow. Women desire alpha males and especially ones who they have to work to get. The more you have options, the easier it will be to be congruent for your actions to be non-needy of having sex with her.

I will stress this: It takes work to get to this point, but faking it until you make it will help you when faced with this shit test.

Now let me be crystal clear: If a girl says “I’m not having sex with you tonight”, that doesn’t mean that you get pushy about it. Period.

I prefer and advocate playing it cool and making her work for you more. I refuse to fucking beg. It’s not worth it. You want a girl who is eager to have sex with you. Consensual sex between adults is a great thing and when you experience it with a pretty girl (s) it’s a great time had by all.

Another line that a girl will throw out following the previous one is this: “Are you mad at me?”

This is her way of throwing yet another shit test at you to see if you’re going to react like a bitter beta bitch boy. This is why it is PARAMOUNT to playing it cool and deflecting.

All of this being said, there’s also a time and a place to deal with teases…


I for one, have had experiences where the girl went on and on and on with this line to the point where it was ruining my evening.

I remember one night not too long ago, where a girl in my group kept saying this to the point where nothing I came back was working and her very attitude annoyed me. Since I’m the type of male that leads my group and will not allow anyone in it that ruins the fun vibe, I stood up at my table (a bottle service table at a popular Las Vegas club) and very firmly stated that she was annoying and a droll.

I then motioned security over and they physically escorted her out. She was upset and shocked that I had her kicked out of the club, but enough was enough. The irony is I really didn’t care if we had sex that night, but her constant insistence (read pestering and foul attitude) on saying we weren’t, was ruining my night with my other friends. I continued to have a great night with her presence gone and still got laid with another girl who was fun and didn’t feel the need to constantly harp on how she wasn’t having sex that night.

The reality is, life is short and there are too many women in the world to beg and plead to have sex with a girl. If your date is going on and on and on to the point where it’s killing the vibe of the evening, then simply eject. While you don’t have to make a scene (like I did haha), you can gracefully leave and never contact her again.

Remember, that your TIME and your mere PRESENCE is valuable. If a girl is going to make your date miserable, then simply leave. You don’t owe her anything.

Next time you’re faced with this line, try some of the responses I wrote out and let me know how it goes.

To Recap: Keep it playful, charming, Agree and Amplify and don’t lose your cool. Although I made a scene, I tend to be a dramatic motherfucker sometimes and I enjoyed having her kicked out of the club. While this was a dash of immaturity, I’m not perfect and to be honest, I don’t regret it. I can almost guarantee that next time she’s out with a guy, she won’t go on and on and on about how she’s not having sex with him that night, while she’s grinding her pussy in his lap and has her tongue down his throat.

Don’t beg, don’t plead and have integrity to yourself. There are plenty of pretty girls in the world who can’t wait to meet you and have fun consensual sex. Find them.

Get my most coveted sex secrets here.

Read More: How To Pick Up Girls At A Vegas Pool Party

14 Replies to “What To Do When A Girl Says “I’m Not Having Sex With You Tonight””

  1. Every time I’ve heard that, or some variation of it, I have closed the deal before we parted company. My assumption was that her desire to have sex with me was so strong that she is verbally attempting to convince herself that she was “not going to be that slutty girl”. As I’ve gotten older, I think it as more of a coded flirt or invitation to sex, without having to just flatly say “have sex with me”. Whatever the case may be, when you hear it, you’ll know all she needs is some combination of rationalization and lust to give herself the green light. I find that discussing sex or the “I’m not having sex with you either” banter at that point is a mood killer. If things are this close, it’s time for eye contact and physicality. She wants it as much as you do.


    1. “My assumption was that her desire to have sex with me was so strong that she is verbally attempting to convince herself that she was “not going to be that slutty girl”.

      Love this line of thought. Completely explains why they feel so compelled to say it at all.


  2. A lot of females do try to run this weak game on guys, and if they had not been successful before, they wouldn’t be trying it again. It’s always funny to me when I get a girl to say things like that.Last time it happened, I was sitting watching a movie on Netflix, and acted like I did not hear her. I didn’t react or respond. I could feel her puzzled that I did not “overreact”. About an hour and a bottle of wine later, she was leaned against my couch getting the business.

    What made it FUNNY was during a text convo two days after I mentioned it, and she laughed, knowing that it was bullshit.


  3. Very good. The top and bottom of it is: if she wants to have sex with you, eventually you will have sex. How long you’re happy to wait for her balanced against how long she’s willing to postpone, feign disinterest or spend making up her mind are the only variables when it comes to whether it will happen or not. It may take a single sentence or it may take three months, but when she wants you, she wants you. No need to beg OR get pushy.
    And if you’re sick of waiting or she doesn’t want you? Move on. Does both parties the world of good.


  4. “While you don’t have to make a scene (like I did haha), you can gracefully leave and never contact her again.”

    No, keep doing that. Making a scene and causing drama by calling her out trains her to have better behavior for future guys. You’re lending a helping hand to all the inexperienced players who will encounter her after you did


  5. Bam! Titties! HaHa- The Law of Abundance works in every situation. It allows you to say the internal FUCK YOU with an external smirk! You don’t want to have sex tonight- fine me neither, Fuck You! You don’t want to buy my shit- fine Fuck You! You don’t like that I’m assertive and get what I want- fine Fuck You! You don’t like my comment on your blog post- fine Fuck You! It truly helps you not give a fuck- when you don’t give a fuck people like you. As Stuart Smiley says: “I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, I don’t give a fuck and people like me” Keep up the good work McQueen!


  6. The only time I’ve heard the “no sex tonight” sentence is when I’ve had sex that very night. Common Game knowledge – agreeing and amplifying even escalates the process.

    Some guys even said, that whenever they hear that sentence, they think: “Kaching – I am gonna fuck her tonight!” It is really a line which shows exactly the truth about women saying one thing, but doing another.


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