One thing that many men struggle with, as did I for some time, is looking for women to fulfill certain needs that they will never be able to fulfill. When we as men get disappointed in women for not being what we desire, then this can lead to depression, frustration and unrealistic expectations.
I was looking back on my past relationships the other day and it occurred to me that any time I was disappointed in the girl, it was usually because I was trying to get her to fulfill a need in me that she simply couldn’t. It wasn’t because the girls were stupid, it was because it wasn’t and isn’t in their nature to fulfill those needs.
Here is a list of 5 things that men should never look for in women. By NOT looking for these traits and expecting these attributes in women, you will be happier, more satisfied in your relationships because you won’t have false expectations and you will be a better, more well-rounded man.
5. Never Expect Deep Intellectual Conversations With Women
This is a BIG one for me. I enjoy in-depth debate and intellectual stimulation through discussion of a variety of topics including politics, finances and business, just to name a few. In the past, I would try to have these types of discussions with women, including my girlfriends, and let me tell you, what a waste of time.
99.9% of women simply aren’t thinking on that wave length, have no desire to discuss such topics and to be frank, aren’t versed well enough to provide intellectual stimulation.
You know who is good to discuss deep topics with? Your male friends. (and if you can’t with them, maybe it’s time to extend your network)
Some of my fondest memories have been made here, at the Beverly Hills Grand Havana Room, a private members only cigar club, where men can be men, have great conversations and have that need fulfilled.
and the waitresses aren’t too shabby either…
If you’re like me and crave these type of conversations, find time to meet with your guy friends, have a cigar and talk. It’s an enriching experience and you’ll be better off knowing that women will not fulfill this need, so it’ll save you hassle, disappointment and false expectations by knowing this.
4. Never Expect Women To Love You Unconditionally Like Your Mother
Another big one, that I struggled with for sometime, was expecting a girl to love me in the manner that my mother does.
Women love CONDITIONALLY, while a good mother will love UN-conditionally.
Note the major difference between the two. It will save you frustration more than you can imagine, if you realize that a girl you’re in a relationship with, may indeed love you, but make no mistake, it’s conditional.
Part of becoming a man is seeing the world and people for who they ARE, and not living with rose-colored glasses over your eyes. With women, understand that they’re for the most part, incapable of loving unconditionally. Don’t get upset about this fact: it is what it is. Once you know the game, then you can play.
There are good women out there who will love you the best they know how. I’ve had girls really love me/are ‘in love’ with me and for all intents and purposes they do, however, have you ever wondered how a girl can say “I just don’t love you anymore”? Shocking right? Because their ‘love’ for you is based off of feelings and NOT reality. If their feelings sway in a different direction so goes their love.
Know the difference and you’ll save yourself unneeded heartache.
3. Never Expect Women To Solve Your Problems
This is tricky. There have been women at certain points in my life (when I was fucked financially and homeless) who did lend a helping hand (in minor ways) and kept me from complete ruin, however, overall, I have never benefited from seeking a woman’s help in solving my problems.
Don’t RELY on a woman to make your career, keep you afloat or be your inspiration for success. Rely on YOURSELF and you’ll be a better man for it.
While I completely understand shit can hit the fan and sometimes a women can help you, it’s best to build self-reliance so that you can stand tall and proud as a man who handles his business. If you constantly rely on women to bail you out and take the reins, you will castrate your self-respect and eventually she will lose respect for you too. Guaranteed.
Lastly, you may think a woman is solving your problems, but she might just turn INTO the problem. Like Jay says…
2. Never Expect Women To ‘Complete You’
Get the concept of soulmates out of your head. It’s bullshit.
Gulp. Hard to swallow, right?
You know who’s your soulmate? Any girl that checks off the desirable traits on your ‘list’ and who is moldable as a woman. Fact.
One reason many men mope through life depressed is because they haven’t found ‘the one’. Yea no shit, because she does not exist.
It’s not about finding ‘the one’, it’s about you finding happiness, fulfillment and a purpose on your OWN. Once you can find peace and happiness on your own, then you will be able to have healthy, satisfying relationships with women because you won’t have unrealistic expectations of her to ‘complete you’.
Do you know why it’s so dangerous to go through life expecting a woman to ‘complete you’? You find a girl who you THINK completes you and you’re ‘happy’ for a while, then it turns into your biggest nightmare and depression hits you like a ton of bricks, because as the woman goes, so goes your ‘happiness’.
Read closely: If you get your overall happiness from a woman, you’re allowing your happiness to be dictated by someone else. Does that sound like what a man does? To give his Happiness Power away to a creature who is emotional? It’s foolish to the 9th degree.
How do I know this? Because I’ve experienced it.
I used to be TERRIBLE about building my life around whoever I was dating. Terrible mistake. Have your own identity, find happiness on your own and don’t expect that a woman should ‘complete you’. Complete yourself, THEN look to build healthy relationships. Thank me later.
1. Never Expect Women To Behave Logically
Many men experience extreme frustration because they expect women to behave logically and rationally.
Women do not behave logically or rationally. Despite what society may say today, women and men are very different. How we are wired compared to them etc. I won’t get into it, but you know what I’m talking about.
Why do you think Game works so well on women? Because it allows men to turn off the logic switch in our brains and see how to communicate with women to get them to do what we want. Isn’t it interesting how much of Game techniques go against what you would EXPECT to work?
“But but but I sent her a long text message telling her I like her and inviting her to dinner! Why hasn’t she responded. I was clear that I LIKE her…” (scratches head)
Because women don’t think like we do and once you establish that within yourself you will see your success with women skyrocket. Get out of your head. Turn of the logic switch. Realize that women will always do things that will stump you, but that Game evens the playing field. It gives you the tools to be successful with women.
Stop expecting women to behave logically and rationally and save yourself some major headaches. Instead see women for what they are: creatures to accompany you on this journey called life, enhance your already great life, provide sexual pleasure and reproduce your seed.
Finally, none of these points I’ve made make women bad people. It’s okay that they don’t fulfill those needs. I love women and while I enjoy deep intellectual conversations with friends, I sure as hell don’t want to see you cats in heels and makeup. Women have their place and the key is knowing what that is and enjoying them for exactly who and what they are and nothing else.
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