Here is Part 1 (if you haven’t read it yet), to get you up to speed on this brand new series.
The journey continues right now with Part 2 of this extremely popular series with the final 9 tips to becoming truly cool.
#9. Less Is More
Don’t try so hard.
If you find yourself constantly worried about being ‘cool’, then you more than likely are not. This is a process that takes time.
You have to learn to relax in the moment and just BE and trust that your mere presence is enough.
One thing I’ve noticed with different clients of mine I’m coaching, that in an effort to be cool, some of them do too much. After working with them, they are seeing progress and understanding that you don’t have to be a clown bouncing all over the room in order to be cool. In fact, that’s a detriment. The difference between working a room and acting like an idiot are very different. Know the difference.
There’s a great passage from The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism, that mentions James Bond and his coolness:
“Can you imagine James Bond fidgeting? How about tugging at his clothing, bobbing his head, or twitching his shoulders? How about hemming and hawing before he speaks? Of course not. Bond is the quintessential cool, calm, and collected character…
This kind of high-status, high-confidence body language is characterized by how few movements are made. Composed people exhibit a level of stillness, which is sometimes described as poise. They avoid extraneous, superfluous gestures such as fidgeting with their clothes, their hair, or their faces, incessantly nodding their heads, or saying “um” before sentences.”
Learn to relax and trust yourself that less is more. There is power in stillness.
#8. Quit Being Modest
I don’t need research to back up what I know to be true from life experience, but some of you like to see some science behind my methods. According to a US study done, “Modest men were not liked as much as modest women because they were viewed as ‘too weak’ for a man and because they were viewed as insufficiently confident and ambitious”.
Being a timid, quiet, unassuming man projects weakness to not only women you’re trying to fuck, but also men who you’re trying to impress or get their business.
On the flip side, this doesn’t mean that you act like a pompous braggart, but learn the difference and stop being a timid man who’s afraid to speak up.
The science doesn’t lie: it’s unattractive as hell.
#7. Use Absence To Increase Mystery
Based on Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power (a book every aspiring alpha playboy should read), this tip will help build mystery in your social circle, help you keep girls wanting more of you and also give you some much needed alone time. Every great thinker and doer needs time to reflect on where he’s come from, take inventory of what he’s doing and plan for his future.
If you’re constantly on the go 7 nights a week, you become less of ‘treat’ to your social circle and the mystery is null, but most importantly you won’t be respecting yourself by taking the time you need to recover and focus on your personal ventures. Don’t be afraid to say “next time” to social invites and keep the mystery alive.
#6. Don’t Expose Your Weaknesses
In an age where everyone is hell bent on embracing their flaws and then shoving them in your face (I’m talking to you Social Media!), never has it been better to refrain and keep your weaknesses to yourself.
Specifically when you’re just getting to know a new friend or lover. Blabbing your mouth about your personal life and airing your dirty laundry will only give ammunition to someone you do not know well enough and they might just use it to harm you. Keep your mouth shut about anything personal and only confide in your mentors who you know have your back and respect your privacy.
Show me someone who tells all and I’ll show you a cat who isn’t cool, but is a fool.
#5. Be A Connector
Cool cats presence is desired by many social groups. On your path to becoming a cool gent who’s in the know and is known, it would strongly behoove you to become a great net-worker and most importantly, a great connector.
A connector is essentially a cat who connects people.
Let’s say I know Jack a nightclub owner and I know Joe Blow a celebrity.
Jack tells me that he wants to have a celebrity host his birthday party next month.
Because I’m friends with Joe Blow the celebrity and because Joe Blow owes me a favor from the time I brought some party girls to his mansion late one night, he offers to host Jack’s birthday party for FREE. Normally Joe Blow’s fee would be at least $15-20 thousand bucks for an appearance.
Jack is elated because I literally saved him thousands of dollars, so he gives me a couple of free bottles and my own table every single time I show up to his club, which is worth thousands of dollars, social proof and will certainly help me get laid. Average table costs $2,000 x 52 weekends in a year at 1 night a weekend = $104,000 worth of bottle service because I connected them. The real cost of alcohol is very cheap for clubs since it’s bought in bulk, so obviously it didn’t ‘cost’ Jack that much, but you get the point.
That is called being a connector. None of that would hypothetically happen (although this did happen but the names have been changed), unless I had built a connection with the club owner and also become friends with that specific celebrity.
Being a connector can also make you money. Multiple times simply due to connecting the right people and projects I am payed a finders’ fee which is thousands of dollars for making a couple of phone calls.
Get networking, become the cool cat everyone wants around and you might just even make some extra cash.
#4. Be A Man Of Your Word
You know what’s cool? Keeping your word.
Real men keep their word, especially with their buddies, so keep your word, even if it hurts.
You might have borrowed some money from a friend, you might owe another one a favor, so don’t hesitate, do what you have to do and make that right.
You know how NOT to be cool? Be the guy who owes everyone and see how quick your social circle dries up and you’re left friendless and even worse: your reputation is fucked.
It takes a lifetime to build a reputation and only one moment to ruin it. Protect it with your life, be a cool cat and keep your word like a man.
#3. Be The Last Guy To Show Up And The First Guy To Leave
No, I’m NOT talking about at work, I’m talking about social functions.
If you’re going to a party and people are expecting you and everyone is showing up and you haven’t yet, there will be excitement at your arrival. After you’ve worked the room and blessed them with your presence, then bounce. Don’t be the cat overstaying his welcome and tiring out the host. Get thee out and on to another fun social event.
#2. Be A Man Of Action; Not Ideas
I have a litmus test for when I meet a new cat. If he goes on and on about what he’s GOING TO DO, but has nothing of substance to say about what he’s DONE, then I know he’s a blowhard and not worth my time.
If you really want to be cool, be a man of action and not just ideas.
Every single man comes up with ideas, but how many actually execute them?
I have more respect for a man who has failed time and time again, but continues to put himself out there TRYING, then a man who sits back playing it safe, has done jack shit, but continues to talk about how “one day I’m going to blah blah blah”.
Be a man with a plan who is using the speed of implementation to make his goals come true, stop hanging out with talkers and only spend time with the doers, which leads me to the last and final tip…
#1. Surround Yourself With Cool Mutherfuckers
You will learn more and develop quicker, if you spend time with cool men who can help you accelerate your personal life. Get a mentor who’s a cool cat, find some cool friends and see how they interact with women, business associates and their outlook on life in general.
Another tip which is extremely important, is focus on hanging out with men who are older, more established and way more successful than you. You will never grow if you hang out with people on your level or below it.
This concludes the How To Be Cool 2 Part Series. If you’ve enjoyed it, leave a comment below saying so. I may drop another article, because there’s even more to write about, but this will get you started for now.
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Read More: How To Be Cool: Part 1