One of the oft-asked questions about game is, ‘Do looks matter?’ and it’s a great question.
The short answer is ‘yes’ and ‘no’.
“Wait Christian, that doesn’t make sense!”, but it will when you get done reading this post.
Looks matter as much as you allow them to.
In other words, everyone is born with certain genetics that we cannot help, but what we do with what we CAN help determines our success.
First off, your facial structure and your height are two factors that are set in stone. Granted you can get chin implants, or wear lifts etc, but for the sake of this post I will be basing this off of a natural approach.
The other aspect of looks in game, is that there are varying types of looks that are considered good looking. As an example here’s two famous men, Brad Pitt and Christian Bale, who are both considered good looking by both males and females, but are two entirely different types.
I’ve met girls who prefer Bale to Pitt and vice versa. This is just one example, but you get the point.
Being good looking is not a solution to getting any girl YOU want. You might look just like Brad Pitt, but the girl YOU like prefers men who look like Tyson Beckford. Now what?
I’ve talked to many girls when doing research on this and conducted surveys and while you might have every girl say, “Brad Pitt is attractive”, but of that group only 5 girls say “I wouldn’t sleep with him although he’s a good looking man”, this shows that while a symmetrical face has been scientifically proven to be attractive to everyone, looks don’t necessarily equate the trigger to become intimate with them.
In layman’s terms: just because a guy has good bone structure, doesn’t mean every girl wants to suck his dick.
Stepping ‘down’ on the ladder of looks, one can look at the actor Ryan Gosling as an example.
While his face isn’t as pleasing as Brad Pitt’s, he has a swagger that carries past the looks. He even has a noticeable ‘flaw’ in that his eyes are slightly closer together then what is deemed ‘ideal’. The girls in my survey unanimously agreed that he was “sexy” and “I would sleep with him in a heartbeat”. Why is this?
Partly because they think he’s ‘cute’, but partly because of the image that he’s portrayed as in certain films, specifically Crazy, Stupid Love. While I don’t suggest watching this chick flick, I’ve included a couple clips from the film to give you an idea of his character and swagger in the film to make a point.
Obviously this is a film, but his character is not far off from guys who have their shit together and are good with women.
Here’s what one can gather from this:
1. Style: his style is impeccable. Style YOU can control and develop.
2. Swagger: his swagger is solid, I would say 8/10. Swagger YOU can control and develop.
3. Game: the writers had to make him ‘fall in love’ at the end of the film with an average girl, to make the audience feel good and the girls watching to feel like they deserve a top shelf guy, but overall, his game is good. Game YOU can control and develop. Note how Gosling is actually dating Eva Mendes, a smoking latina in real life and not an average girl like Emma Stone.
4. Fitness: Ryan’s in great shape in the film. Being jacked and ripped is something that YOU can control entirely. I don’t care if you’re born with a face that makes Brad Pitt look plain, you won’t just naturally have an incredible body. YOU have to still put in the dedication and discipline to develop a great body.
5. Looks. Ryan is a decent looking dude, but based on my survey most girls said he’s “Not traditionally good looking, but sexy”. Sexy is an aura and presence and what I like to describe as your essence when all factors are complete. In other words, you can be sexy, when you focus on all factors YOU can control and YOU develop. If you’re a completely average looking guy, but you develop your style, swagger, game, body and maximize your looks, then you will be sexy.
You guys know what I look like, since I posted pictures here, and you know what I get from girls regarding how I look? “You’re sexy. You have an aura about you”. Notice that neither of those comments have to do with looks per se. I don’t get the reactions that guys that look like this get:
And that’s okay. I work with what I have. I know I have a big nose among other physical flaws, but I rock it with an IDGAF attitude and to women that attitude is attractive as hell. That goes beyond looks and comes from within. These type of guys could have shitty style, less game and still pull, because they have that factor of good looks to the level that women approach them. Now, they could open their mouth, shoot themselves in the foot and it could go nowhere, but you gents know what I’m talking about.
If I didn’t work out, had shitty style, didn’t bust my ass off to develop game, swagger and presence, then I wouldn’t get the “You’re sexy” remarks. That’s a fact. So as you can see, game and developing yourself into the best version of you is necessary for all men.
A perfect example of an average looking cat, is actor Jeremy Renner. He’s an excellent actor and I enjoy his films, but for the sake of this post let’s see how he’s maximized his genetics.
Keeping it real as always, if he wasn’t an A-List 2-time Oscar Nominated actor, girls wouldn’t be dropping their mouths at his looks. What Jeremy has done is maximize his potential: his talent for acting and fitness.
If you watch the new Bourne film, you can see that Jeremy is in great shape, so he obviously works out. He also, has develop solid style with his clothes and hair. He has taken what he has and made it the best he can. I’ll also add, he’s in his early 40’s so he looks great for his age.
The real key for Renner is that he took his great talent of acting and focused on becoming even greater with it.
No matter what you look like on the scale, you should ALWAYS be maximizing your talents and striving to become great at whatever your craft is.
Producers obviously think he has the swagger and cool factor down as well, because he’s slated to play none other than Steve McQueen in a bio-pic.
Jeremy is a great example of a cat with average looks who busted his ass to become a great actor and now is enjoying the fruits of his labor like this cute filly here.
Another perfect example of a very plain looking guy is Daniel Craig aka James fucking Bond. He’s considered the least attractive Bond, but yet he took what he had and developed it: talent and fitness. He knew that he was below average looking so he maximized his fitness in the Bond films.
The producers aren’t stupid.
They knew when they cast him that girls would say “Well, he’s not cute!”, so what did they do?
They had him get in the best shape of his life as you can see here.
Note that look she’s giving him: that’s a woman that adores her man.
Once you determine where you fit, your niche and your look, then you should take inventory of everything you CAN control and see if you’re maximizing those aspects.
Look, if you’re a great looking guy more power to you, but don’t neglect taking your strength and making it even stronger, and vice versa if you feel like you’re below average looking guy, then focus on the factors you CAN control as much as possible.
Also, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, that the most important quality a man can posses is strong inner game and an attitude of swagger.
I’ve seen it too many times where a guy will swoop in on a good looking guy and steal his girl with great game, confidence and charisma. Learn to develop an attitude of not giving two flying fucks of the approval of others and see how women start to flock to you. The beauty of this, is that an attitude, great game, charisma and swagger don’t fade when your looks do, it’s for life. Develop those aspects now and reap the benefits the rest of your life.
Regardless of your looks, developing strong inner game and game, confidence, swagger, style and fitness takes work, so don’t let looks or lack of looks get in your way: control what YOU can control and enjoy life.
Sick and tired of not getting dates and being sexless? Go here.
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