(Christian here. Today’s blog post is a guest post from The Chef Jackson, winner of the 6 Month From Beta To Alpha Coaching Program contest.)
Hey guys, The Chef here with some (hopefully) inspiring words about one part of game that’s often under appreciated: Day Game. In my experience, it is one of four key areas that should be part of every single man’s arsenal. Also note that each type of game feeds into each other as your confidence and experience improves:
1) Night Game. If you’re a fan of Christian’s writings, you know there’s a lot of fun to be had by going out to bars and clubs while meeting cute girls.
2) Networking / Social Circle Game. This is similar to Night Game but your vibe is dialed down a bit as the setting is more relaxed and casual. Apply this style to a young alumni mixer, networking group, a small apartment or house party as well as when hanging with your peers. This game is more long-term, as you’ll often exchange numbers to meetup another day.
3) Online Dating Game. I’ve had real success with dating apps, without investing a lot of time (2-3 hours per week, in little bits daily amongst my other activities). On my recent interview on The CMQ show I mention how I met a quality girl on a dating app who I have been seeing for several fun-filled months.
4) Day Game. This game is dead simple, as detailed below..
Let’s journey into a moment where I spit some quality day game on a sunny Saturday afternoon in Santa Monica, California.
I pulled into a Starbucks to grab a double-shot iced cafe late to give me some fuel for a weekend work session. Dressed casually in a white t-shirt, jeans and a kick ass pair of brown leather sneakers, I was feeling good, having just finished a culinary event that morning at a nationwide retailer.
Near where the drinks come out, was a circular table with stools populated by an older woman on her phone and a cute girl with a black tank top and short jean shorts…also playing on her cellphone.
Tip 5: Identify a girl who is best open to a chat.
Her caramel skin caught my eye, and a quick glance showed she was lingering at the table and did not seem in a rush.
A girl who isn’t in a hurry, is probably open to a chat, especially on a chill weekend afternoon.
I sat nearby and the age-old question popped up that hits all beginner and even advanced players, “What should I say?”
Tip 4: Keep your approach ridiculously simple, with a basic question followed by a quick comment.
My opener, was casually asking her, “Do the drinks come out quickly?”
Girl: “I think so, I’ve been waiting a bit.”
My mind immediately went back into my head…thinking about what to say next. I took a quick glance to see if there was anything about her I could comment on. I saw her black and white striped cellphone case.
Me: “That’s a cool phone case.”
Her: “Thanks, it’s also a wallet.”
She opened it up and it had her iphone plus a side compartment for credit cards and cash.
Me: “Nice, it serves a dual purpose. I’m more of a money clip type of guy.”
Her: “I wouldn’t use that! I’d probably lose it.”
Me: “Funny you should say that…”
And then I immediately went into a story about how I had recently lost my money clip that was stolen at a pool party while I was in the water. In the story I threw in little bits about how my friends like to hit up classy hotel venues to subtly demonstrate that I lead a fun life (which is 100% true.)
Tip 3: Vibe is very important: Be chill, friendly and (this is key) maintain strong eye contact.
What you can’t see in the conversation above was the vibe we had. It was easy and casual, and I kept the chat going because she smiled here and there. As I sat, I made sure to give her strong eye contact, while occasionally glancing slightly above and to the left.
Most people have terrible eye contact, while a true man uses his eyes to make the person in front of him feel important and special, even just for a few brief moments.
Tip 2: To segue into more interesting topics, start by sharing what you’re doing in that moment, plus where you’re off to next while getting to know her.
Most numbers don’t go anywhere because no strong connection was made. With this cute girl, who turned out to be Mexican, I mentioned that I was on my way to work after having just finished a culinary event that went very well (which definitely gave me a surge of energy and confidence before I entered the café.)
As I shared what I was up to, I could see her becoming more interested. Later, I teased her a bit about attending a university that was my alumni’s rival and mentioned how we wouldn’t ever be friends.
Yes I used the word “friends” even though I was considering ‘dating’ her. The reason is because the context I had created was playful, as I jokingly imagined that we had known each other for quite some time and our relationship had come to a quick end after discovering where she studied.
The ridiculous element was that we had been talking for barely 5 minutes.
This setup paid off because she played off it by saying that we had had “good times while it lasted.” I then dropped the tease and asked her what she was studying. Later I got some important information:
-I found out where she lived, shared where I was and it turned out we lived near each other/
-I asked her about cooking, as I’m a chef, and she shared some dishes she liked to make.
-I found out she lived at home with her folks, but was looking forward to moving out.
All of this information was for screening, to see if she was someone that I would want to take out.
Don’t be afraid to get to know the girl. In day game, sharing yourself can lead to a very easy and powerful connection because it’s genuine and real. This is different from night game, where being a bit of a mystery and NOT oversharing can built attraction.
Tip 1: Don’t linger. Get in, get the number, get out and hint at a future date
Ever notice how the best approaches are when you’re on your way to something awesome? Your vibe communicates you’re a man with a busy life, off to conquer the world and your personal goals. I knew with this girl we’d chat, I’d grab my drink and then head out the door.
Me: “Well it sounds like we’re close by”
Her: “Yeah” (as I take out my phone)
Me: “Put your number in my phone.”
(As she’s doing this, I keep the conversation going.)
Me: “It’s (her name), right? We’ll grab a smoothie or something.”
Her: “Sounds good.”
Remembering the name is important, not just for meeting girls but for being a charmer in general. People feel respected and liked when you show interest in them, which means remembering their names.
I grabbed my drink, and made our first bit of physical connection with a parting hand shake. Note that I do not shake her hand like a man, firmly and quickly but instead hold her hand for a moment longer than usual with a subtle sensuality.
I smile and leave. Even if you want to jump in the air with excitement (and that’s a great feeling) wait til you’re outside her vision before doing so. Like Don Draper, be cool, calm and collected.
My work session went exceptionally well and I even had enough extra energy to squeeze out this post. I shut my phone and internet off and a basic kitchen timer kept me focused for one uninterrupted hour.
-In day game, be on your way to something cool. Your best venues are cafes, grocery stores, clothing stores and malls.
-Start with a simple question, make a quick comment about something about her style and at that point you’ll get a feel for the girl. If it seems to be going well, throw in a quick anecdote and casually share what you’re up to and where you’re going…which will make it easy for her to reciprocate.
-Then you can settle into “get to know you” questions such as her profession, a hobby or two, what side of town she’s on and (if you’re bold) her age as well. Drop some cool stuff about yourself (for me…I’m a chef) then grab her number and head on your way.
Hope this post gets you all to take a chance and chat up the next girl you see out.
In the comment section below, share what has been holding you back when it comes to day game. Also, feel free to share insights you have had as well, as short anecdotes.
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