The arena of self-improvement is packed full of blogs, programs and concepts to take people from what they are to what they want to be, but something that I have not seen, is what self-improvement really is about.
Self-improvement is just that: SELF-improvement. Not Christian McQueen-Improvement, or Tony Robbins-Improvement, it’s (Insert Your Name)-Improvement.
While a man should be working on every aspect of their life to become the best man they can be, it doesn’t mean that they turn into a clone of someone else.
If you’re not into nightclubs at all, then why try to force yourself into being a nightclub cat? If your main passion is dirt bike racing, why waste time becoming a bodybuilder if that’s not your calling?
The key to taking self-improvement advice is tailoring it for yourself, and using the concepts and tools to achieve your personal goals.
There are a few commonalities that all men share though and I believe that these main points help you regardless of what your hopes, dreams and goals are.
What Self-Improvement Is
-Taking care of your body.
That doesn’t mean you have to turn into a body builder if you truly don’t want to. It means being in good shape and being healthy. If you like to run marathons and stay lean, then do so.
Don’t change who you are simply to fit a mold that you feel you have to be. Taking care of your body also means making choices in your diet that will keep you healthy and your brain sharp. This common sense.
Personally, I make choices like smoking that I know are unhealthy, but I like to do it, therefore I do. I will quit one day, but it’s when I decide to. I also workout to stay in good shape, but I don’t have a desire to be in bodybuilding competitions, so I don’t do more than is needed to maintain a good body. That’s personal choice, but it’s mine and it makes me happy. If you thrive off being in incredible shape then do that because it’s making you happy and in the long run is what YOU desire, not because you think it’s necessary to get laid, because it’s not.
-Becoming good with women.
Whether you want to bang models the rest of your life, or bang 20 girls and then settle down with one woman, your journey will give you an idea of what makes you happy. Pursue that. There’s a false idea that a “real man” has to bang hundreds of girls. This is false. I do believe strongly from experience that a man shouldn’t settle down until he’s slept with at least 20 women, because that will give you a good idea of what you want in a woman and will give you the experience needed to have a healthy and solid relationship. But being good at game is more than just banging randoms every night: it’s a way of life that affects your interactions with everyone.
The skills you get at becoming great with women you can carry with you the rest of your life and is never time wasted. I firmly believe the two aspects of life that a man must figure out are divided into 2 main categories: Women + Money. If you figure those out and become successful with both, then you will have figured out most of what it means to live a good life.
-Having a hustle.
Whether you’re a corporate cat, or more of a free spirit, it’s key that you learn the basics of making money on your own and you maximize that ability. You will always need money, unless you’ve been blessed by the trust fund gods. Learn how to make money and that skill will never leave you. They say the first million is the hardest, then it gets easier because you know what to do to make another million. The same goes for building a business. Learn from the ‘failures’ and don’t quit. Eventually you’ll have a profitable self-made business.
Lastly, you’re better off working your ass off on a business that no one can take away from you, then to bust your ass on someone else’s business only to be fired or laid off one day. Don’t spend your life building someone else’s dream. Build your own.
-Creating a network and your own Rat Pack.
Go out of your way to make real connections with successful men who you can bring business to and you can help each other. These relationships will shock you at how much they help you reach your goals. You can be an island and self-reliant, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a network of successful men to bounce ideas off of and mentors to get advice from.
-Overall becoming the best that you can be, regardless of your circumstances and genetics, to better fulfill your personal goals and live a more satisfying life.
What Self-Improvement Is Not
-Being a clone.
If you have men who you admire and look up to, then glean from them what you can use, but don’t believe that you have to turn into them in order to be complete. Use the tools they provide to discover your true calling and what makes you tick. If you stay true to yourself while improving yourself you will be happy. You will never be happy trying to be a second rate version of someone else. No one can be the best version of you at your best.
Don’t compare. You’re in competition with yourself only. At the end of the day 99.9% of people could give two fucks about me or you, but it’s not about them. It’s about yourself. I can write until I’m blue in the face and my fingers fall off, but if you don’t take action for yourself, then it won’t matter. Having information available to you doesn’t equal taking action. It’s a combination of taking the tools and taking action.
-Masturbation of one’s emotional state.
If you think that self-help is just jerking off your emotions into false states, then you’re doing it wrong. You should be following practical steps to become a better man that when executed you can see real improvement. If it’s just theory and not practical applicable information, then look elsewhere. Easy way to check if you’re improving based on what you’re doing right now: are you further ahead in life in all areas then you were 3 months ago. If you’re not seeing gains, then you’re either not doing enough, or misapplying the information you’re taking in. Reading self-help information is like taking a girl’s panties off. Doesn’t mean you’ve had sex until your cock is in her pussy and it doesn’t actually help you until you apply it. Don’t just be a reader, be a doer.
To conclude, this is an article where I couldn’t quite articulate what I wanted to say, but hopefully you get the point. If not, leave a comment and I’ll clarify more if needed. I may make a video to better explain the points I’m trying to get across.
Go here because fucking 5’s and working at Wendy’s is no man’s life dream.
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