20 Life Lessons I Learned In My 20’s

As I am about to turn 30 next month, I’ve spent some time reflecting on my 20’s and the insanity of the ride that it’s been. I’ve had ups and downs, and I’d like to share some life lessons I learned to help you cats who are entering your 20’s, or are experiencing them right now.

These are in no particular order, just from the notes I’ve jotted down in the last couple of weeks.

#20. I Always Regretted The Approaches I Didn’t Do

When you see a pretty girl and something in your gut tells you to approach her, do it. Don’t hesitate and just approach. I’ve always regretted the approaches I didn’t do, but the ones I did sometimes changed my life. Literally. You never know unless you try.


#19. Have Goals, But Learn To Enjoy The Moment

With the pressure that comes from parents to do this and plan for that, learn to enjoy the moment as well. My 20’s have FLOWN by and I can never return. Don’t live your life always focused on “When I’m 30, I’ll do XYZ”. Plan for the future, but also enjoy the moment. Some of my best memories from my 20’s was simply being in the moment and enjoying exactly where I was in life. You are not guaranteed tomorrow. None of us are.

#18. College Is Overrated

If you don’t see yourself in college, then skip it. Don’t go against your instinct. I can honestly say, unless you’re going into a field like law or medicine, or  a specialized field where there is high job demand when you graduate, then consider another avenue. Hell, if you’re undecided, you’d be better off working in the oil fields for a couple of years, stacking cash and then investing it into your own business. Don’t be afraid to blaze your own trail. Great men were rarely followers and you don’t have to have a college degree to be successful. That being said, a degree will never hurt you, but don’t drown yourself in debt if you don’t have a serious plan.

#17. Take Risks

Don’t play it safe. It’s much easier to take risks in your 20’s when you can bounce back quicker then later in life. If you see an opportunity then jump at it. If you ‘fail’, so what, you learned something and you’ll be smarter and stronger for it. I’ve taken insane risks. Sometimes it worked out and sometimes not, but I can look back and honestly say that I don’t have regrets about my risks. Playing it safe rarely gets you ahead in a major way.

#16. Become Good With Girls Now

Don’t wait until you’re in your 30’s or 40’s to figure out women. First off, the learning curve becomes harder the older you get. Secondly, the exposure you have to college aged girls is greater now then usually later in life depending on your job etc. Don’t quit your job and spend 8 hours a day at the mall day gaming; that’s fucking retarded. But, do dedicate a night or two a week on dates and going out to meet women. The greatest teacher of women is Experience. You cannot become great with women, unless you put in the effort. Do it now and when you are 30 years old, you’ll have that aspect of your life figured out.

#15. Get A Mentor

I wrote about how I met one of my mentors here, but there is no right way. Get out, meet people, find the men who are already successful, contribute to their life and ask for advice. Having a successful male mentor will put you miles ahead of your peers and is a HUGE part of my success and will be for you too.


#14. Learn To Hustle

I don’t care if you’re selling water bottles on the beach during the summer, or flipping iPhones, learn to hustle. Traits of men who make money is that they take a seemingly boring opportunity and transform it into making money. Learn to start thinking like a hustler and how you can take any opportunity and turn it into a way to make money. You’ll always need money, so start learning now how to do it.

#13. Don’t Get Married Or Have Kids

As I am about to turn 30, I am happy to say I’ve never been married and I don’t have any kids (that I know of). If you want to handcuff yourself early on in life, then get married at 24 and have a couple of kids. I’m not knocking cats who get married early, but trust me when I say what you want at 21 is generally not what you want at 30. Take your damn time in that arena. Women come and go, but you only live your 20’s once.

#12. Start Saving Money

Even if it’s only $100 a month, put that crisp C-note away and don’t touch it. You understand if you did this for 10 years from 20 to 30, then on your 30th birthday you’d have $12,000 and that’s just putting it in your shoe box, that’s not even investing or getting interest off a savings account. Make it a habit starting now and you’ll be glad you did. Fuck buying new rims for your car. Save that dough.

#11. Develop A Workout Routine And Don’t Stop

I started working out when I was 16 years old and except for a few brief periods here and there, I’ve continued to work out in the gym. Start NOW, not when you’re 30 and you’ll build muscle that you can maintain the rest of your life. The older you get, the harder it is to stay in shape. No shit right? Well start now and build a ‘base’ for when you’re older in life, you’ll never regret being in good shape.

#10. Read Books And Turn Off The TV

I’ve always been a voracious reader and I can directly attribute some of my success to being informed and ‘self-taught’ from reading. Turn off the TV and read a book and no, not a fiction book. Focus on books that can help you in life, from finances to women and everything helpful in-between. One key point is though, don’t be those cats who buy a new book every week and never read it or APPLY IT. That’s retarded. Be a reader and then a DOER. Having knowledge you don’t apply in your brain is wasteful. Read, Learn and Apply.

#9. Network Your Ass Off

Do everything in your power to get yourself around powerful successful people, shut your mouth and learn from them. I cannot stress to you the importance of networking and how much it will help you in your life. Get active and start meeting people today. You can NEVER underestimate the importance of networking. The old saying “It’s all about who you know”, is really not a joke.


Myself and Jeremy Piven AKA Ari Gold from Entourage.

#8. Pick Your Friends Wisely

You know that ‘cool’ kid who’s dealing coke and breaking into cars? He’s an idiot. Pick your friends wisely, and if you don’t have anybody to hang out with focus on your goals for now. As you focus you will draw like minded people into your life. Also, if you’re 22 and you have a choice between hanging out with another 22 who’s in the same boat as you, or a 28yo successful cat, don’t even hesitate: hang out with the older cat. You’ll learn more and get further ahead in life then you can imagine. I always made it a point to hang out with guys older then me and it paid off in a big way.

#7. Learn How To Dominate A Social Setting

I wrote all about that here, but make it a point to figure this out and you’ll use it the rest of your life. You can’t even put a price tag on the power of knowing how to do this and you’ll use this the rest of your life in both fun and business social settings.

#6. Travel

While my travel has been limited to North America for now, traveling is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. If you’re in college, do a semester abroad, or if you’re not, then just plan a trip and go. You’ll learn a shit ton about yourself and get a broader global view that will broaden your horizons and provide unique experiences that you won’t get staying at home in Indiana.

#5. Start A Business

Whether you turn a start-up into a publicly traded company, or it’s just enough to supply you travel money, start some kind of business. It will teach you the value of being self-reliant, teach you more than an MBA and give you even more insight into working for someone else if you choose to go that route. I have never regretted trying to start a business and ‘failing’. The value I gained from making mistakes and learning from those helped me with my successful businesses. There’s nothing like being the boss and writing your own check. Empower yourself.

#4. Learn How To Be Truly Cool

I wrote about this here as well, but learn now how to be cool and don’t be that cat at 35yo who’s trying to figure it out. The earlier that you learn these life basics, the more you can apply this the rest of your life and it’ll help you be successful. Want a head start? Devour this blog and apply it. I can truly say I wrote the ‘bible’ on this shit and I know from whence I speak.

#3. Be Positive

I’m not talking about being fake and delusional, I’m talking about looking at the cup as though it’s half-full, not half-empty. Without a doubt, the main characteristic that helped me keep going when my life was hell, was that I am positive. If you don’t have hope, then you have nothing. If you’re not positive about your OWN life, then what is the point of living?

The true test is if you can be positive when life isn’t going the way you want it to. It’s easy to be positive when everything is going great, but learn to make your mindset one of hope and happiness. If you struggle with naturally being positive, then unplug from anything that brings you down. You know when you read an article and you click off the page feeling a little down, then stop reading that shit. Turn off the negative news and fill your mind with upbeat stuff. It’s not being unrealistic, it’s called not going through life focused on shit you can’t change and instead being focused on that what YOU can change: yourself. Here’s a litmus test for you: If whatever you’re reading doesn’t make you feel better and improve your life, then don’t read it. That simple.

diamond cartoon

#2. Don’t Be Afraid To Fail

If there’s anything you remember from my list, remember this: don’t be afraid to fail. It’s the God’s truth that fear is what holds most men back. Fear of failing, fear of our ‘friends’ opinions of us, fear of our parent’s opinion, fearing fear itself. Fuck fear. Say it out loud: “Fuck Fear”. Don’t be a pussy afraid of failing. Grab life by the balls and stick your dick in it. Great men have also experienced fear, but they had courage to push through anyway. Courage is what makes average men great. Be courageous and don’t be afraid to fail.

#1. Live Life On Your Own Terms And Ignore The Haters

If you truly want to be a dominate man who loves life, enjoys life and is successful at life, then learn to ignore the haters and keep doing what you’re doing. Trust me you will have haters if you’re doing something great. The majority of people can’t stand to see others do well, but who cares about their opinion? Put your blinders on and stay focused on your success and your life and you’ll be happier and more productive if you do so.

Go here, because who dreams of fucking 5’s and working at Wendy’s?

Read More: Get Fed Up With Being Average

21 Replies to “20 Life Lessons I Learned In My 20’s”

  1. These are the kind of articles guys like me love and need, thank you Christian.

    PS: The blonde on the far right picture at the top of your blog … very nice!


  2. Great points, Christian. I wish I had learned these things in my 20’s instead of now in my 30’s. It’s all about having goals and not settling for being average!


  3. No reason not to start learning game later on.

    Follow the advice here: lift, dress well, eat right, get in the right mindset…and the pussy will flow.

    95% of the girls I bang are in the 19-24 year age bracket.


  4. WHat if you f#cked up in your 20s and are just new to learning game in your 30’s?

    I really wonder what I’ll do if I never have access to young, big knocker college girls again.

    I regret missing out in undergrad so bad-
    What should I do to get some college girls at my age???????????????????????

    Would you continue to keep trying even if you are that “old guy” when you day game or hit up bars if you had a college girl fetish like me?????????????????????????


  5. Good stuff. It’s important to recognize that the 20’s are probably the most difficult/confusing part of a man’s life. It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I could begin to understand myself.

    It’s insane how many guys get locked down with a wife, debt, or a shit job when they are in their early 20’s. Insane. They don’t know themselves yet and are making these life decisions that end up breaking their spirits and shackling them.

    I’m walking around now, early 30’s, free as fuck…and women are the easiest they have ever been. They can see that there is freedom in my spirit and they want a piece of it.

    Hang in there dudes.


  6. The lessons about taking risks and failing are golden. A lot of this plays into the idea that you should always be taking opportunities that present themselves, especially at this age.

    Reminds me of that Richard Branson quote:

    “If someone offers you an amazing opportunity, but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later.”

    Great post McQueen.


  7. I still got a couple years left of my 20s. Just reading this, I know that’s still plenty of time to take these lessons to heart.

    Some of my regrets include turning a blind eye at a good opportunity when it was staring right at me, becoming outcome dependent and being disappointed once I failed, and not continuing to learn the game when I got tied up in a relationship.

    I sure as hell wish this blog and all your wisdom came to light earlier in my 20s. But hey, better to discover things now than never.


  8. all good solid points my dude, but you forgot one I think should be on here, “move out of your parents’ house ASAP.” Nothing worse than building a lifestyle while living at home. Life can get too comfortable by not worrying about the hustle while under your parents’ roof.


    1. That is a good and important point. Staying at home under the comfortable roof of Mom n Dad will cripple the fuck out of you and will impede your progress in the long run.

      Thanks for contributing!


    2. lets say you recently just graduated from college. Would it be acceptable to stay with your parents for 1-2 years while you stack money from work then move out?


      1. If you make a plan and stick to it, it’s fine like this:

        -Work full time and also part time on your side hustle.
        -Give yourself a deadline: July 31st 2015 come hell or high water you move out. Just an example, but give yourself an ACTUAL date. This will put good pressure on you.
        -Save your ass off and don’t spend since you don’t have rent.

        The problem is a lot of cats get comfortable and then say “well next year I’ll move” which turns into 3 years later. If you’re a disciplined dude then it can be done, but don’t be a slacker and make a deadline.


      2. unless you got a ton of loans, I don’t see a reason staying with your parents longer than 6 months. let’s face it, loans will be there no matter what. if you have a job locally, save that money and get some cheap place, or get a place with to room with a college bud. anything over 4-6 months at home becomes too routine. Like Christian said, make a deadline. whether you meet the goals for your deadline or not, move out and move out ASAP.


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