5 Tips For Rolling Solo

 

The other night I rolled out solo. I haven’t rolled out solo in quite some time, between coaching clients, or rolling with my Rat Pack. I wasn’t solo the entire night, but for the first 3 hours I was and after having not rolled solo for quite sometime, I made some new observations.

In between sipping on my vodka-tonic double and flirting with girls, I took some notes in my phone. Here they are.

#5. Embrace The ‘Awkwardness’

Even after over a decade of nightlife experience, even I will sometimes get a slight awkward feeling being out solo. This slight nagging sensation hit me ever so slightly as I posted up at a bar at a new Hollywood hot spot. The moment the feeling hit me, I knew what it was, but haven’t had it in years. The good news was I knew exactly what to do to remove it and allow myself to return to normal. Here’s what I did:

-I embraced the awkwardness. I felt awkward, because I FELT that people were perceiving me differently because I was ‘alone’. In reality, people could give two fucks about you to that extent, but a person’s imagination can go into overdrive when we feel like we’re being judged. I established WHY I was feeling awkward, and then I chose to relax. I took a deep breath and allowed myself to just be. I became present again. It’s very hard to be present when you’re in your mind concerned with what others think of you.

-In order to have friends, one must show themselves friendly. Two non-attractive, but friendly girls were standing beside me at the bar trying to order drinks. In typical Hollywood fashion the bartender continued to skip over them. I have a rapport at this venue and asked the girls what was wrong. They were becoming slightly upset, not mad, but clearly embarrassed. I motioned the bartender over and asked her to serve the two girls. She obliged and the girls expressed their thanks repeatedly. I wasn’t trying to bed the girls. I wasn’t trying to be a nice guy. I simply used my ‘power’ for good. I chatted with them for a couple of moments on mindless subjects, before excusing myself. The little bit of energy that I used to make their day much better, in fact, fueled me to relax.

#4. Rolling Solo Can Help You Stand Out In A Good Way

Unless you’re hunched over in the corner darting your eyes around like a nervous fuck, rolling solo can help establish which girls are DTF that night.

As I stood at the bar with my right elbow casually resting on the bar, with my back straight and surveying the room, the girls who I already had noticed as girls who were DTF, took notice of me. It’s so unusual to see a man who has confidence and is dressed well to be at a bar, or club solo, that when a girl notices him she already knows exactly why he is there. This subtle communication allows her imagination to kickstart with the possibilities of what may happen with you that night.

By me not being distracted by other friends, or even a wing, I was able to laser in on girls who were itching to meet a man. In fact, one of the girls I noticed watching me with curiosity became the girl who I later was flirting with, kissing and eventually getting her number.

#3. Embrace The Adventure Of The Unknown

Too many times rolling out with a wingman will cause a man to default to letting his buddy put in the work. Rolling solo literally forces you to open your mouth and meet women, or stand there all night until last call and leave empty handed. While that may sound intimidating, learn to embrace the adventure. It’s been quite some time since I felt that excitement of going out into the night alone and knowing no one besides some of the employees.

There’s a rush to it and if you embrace it, it will spark your adrenaline and provide some excitement in your night.

Girl-at-bar

#2. Say Anything, Just Start Talking

Our minds work in a funny way. The longer we stand and stare at a pretty girl, the quicker our brains will make up excuses as to why we shouldn’t speak to her. You’re better off approaching a girl, opening your mouth and saying the first thing that comes to your mind, then never approaching.

The moment I felt back in the zone, was when I started flirting and gaming girls again. No matter how long I stood at the bar, although being relatively comfortable, I didn’t really get started until I made the approaches and started blabbing about God knows what. It’s not as hard as it looks to walk up to a girl and start chatting with her, but the ‘hard’ part is psyching ourselves out to believe that we shouldn’t.

Don’t hesitate next time you’re rolling solo. Embrace the rush, approach and open your mouth. You’ll see it’s not too bad and you might be pleasantly surprised at how she reacts.

#1. You’re Not As Bad As You Think

The fact that you’re reading this site, have read my books, and are approaching weekly, already puts you miles ahead of other guys. In my first hour of being solo, I only did one approach. Instead, I observed from the bar how men were interacting with other girls. They weren’t. I saw one guy approach a very attractive brunette, to which she gave him attention and seemed receptive. He was below average in looks, while this dame was a hard 9. The irony is, I didn’t see any other guys approach this girl the rest of that hour besides the one. Well, until I did, but you get my point.

Men tend to psych themselves out and think that the other men in the venue are better than themselves, but that’s simply not true. While there are varying degrees of men at the same venue who may be better looking, or worse looking than you, there are also varying degrees of confidence, but what generally holds a man back is himself and nothing else.

The game that I observe in men nowadays appears to be much worse than it was 5 years ago. They simply seem content staying in their ‘Bro Circle’ and gawking from a distance.

Next time you’re rolling out solo, give yourself a pat on the back before you walk into a venue, embrace the awkwardness, enjoy the adventure, and simply approach and open your mouth and say anything. You’ll already be ahead of the crowd.

 

Read More: 2 Lines To Use When Rolling Solo

30 Replies to “5 Tips For Rolling Solo”

  1. I go out solo all the time. About a month ago I hung out with a very cute 22 yr old for 2 hours. Most of the time I wouldn’t hang with one that young. I am 51, but she was cool. I was mostly writing girls like her off. Currently on a long dry spell so will try almost anything.

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      1. I got her number and didn’t call / text for a few weeks mainly because I hit some ice and banged my ribs pretty good.. Texted her last week No response. I have been with many women, Used to own a club, did Venus Swimwear Model Search contests, etc, etc. Now in a new town, small social circle. Many times I just go out have a drink or 2 and go home. It’s not Hollywood with hot babes running around all over. Something has to give though.

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      2. Everyone gets dry spells so don’t get down on yourself. You can’t get blood out of a turnip, so maybe take a small trip out of town or something to kickstart yourself again. Vacations/weekend trips can give you that boost.

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      3. Honestly thanks for the advice I went out solo tonight for the 1st time and i ask about 4 girls to dance the last one said yes after I had a couple of drinks I finally some up the courage to ask them but I didn’t get her number but I got her Facebook name and she the one that send the message to herself from my Facebook Im getting confidence little by little:)

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  2. A lot of my lays have come from meeting up with some friends after work having a few drinks then rolling out on my own. I use that momentum to just open everyone i come across and I rarely get asked why I’m solo.
    If I do get asked I just say “My friends had to go home to wash their hair” or some absurd shit like that.
    Last lay i got solo I opened a chick because of her pink shoes then rolled with her group of friends.
    I sat with them awhile while some beta chode was buying her drinks and escalating unsuccessfully. I just sat with her friends joking around while she was eye fucking be from across the table.
    An hour later her friend offers up one of her beds in her house for us to bang because her friends said I was a “cool guy” Ha

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  3. For some reason most of my notches have come from going solo. I got over the awkward feeling of being out alone a long time ago. I don’t mind going out with a wing or with a great group of friends but for me it’s mentally exhausting to game and work logistics around other people. It’s great to go out with friends on the hunt but most of the time I just work better alone. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m introverted and run a less energetic style of game. I end up fading into the background next to the more animated styles used by my friends.

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  4. Great article. I was out solo the other night too, and I definitely concur the only thing that holds you back in yourself. I’ve been breaking out my comfort zone and seeing immediate results.

    I was the best dressed guy in there, walked around like I owned the place and approached the hottest group of girls there (3 of them); got one of their numbers that night.

    Keep up the relevant posts, they are legit.

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  5. If I go out alone I’m going after tourists about 25 minutes away (Daytona beach). Given that drive home, what do you recommend drinking wise? It gives me an excuses to drink with a girl if she offers for me to stay at her hotel, but not drinking can add to this mental pressure you place upon yourself at a bar alone.

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    1. Learn to improve your game by drinking sober, or drink one glass of water after every alcoholic drink.

      Whatever you do don’t risk driving drunk for some pussy. No girl is worth ruining your life.

      I used to have friends drop me off at some bars literally 30 minutes from my house. With only $20 in my pocket and no real way to get home. This FORCED me to pull that night so I had a ride home.

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  6. Golden.

    #5 Resonates the most. I like to go out solo often for two reasons, I’m on my own clock and I learn a lot about myself.

    Awkwardness (tense moments) comes in a variety of life situations and by being able to know the onset and what trigger those types of feelings, you can also learn how to better handle them; thus making you better in business, conversation, or trying to pull.

    I don’t look at it as being solo mentally, I see it as the world is my oyster, the people and places are here and around me for me, so I’m comfortable with interacting with whoever or whatever (#3). This is how I return to normal and relax.

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  7. This is an important article, Christian. I love #3 and #4, especially.

    Any player who goes out dolo on the regular will tell you that some of the best bangs come from going out alone. I really think it raises your level of game.

    Being able to roll out solo frees you from waiting for your wing and crew to be available. It also opens up international travel opportunities, since you don’t have to coordinate vacation time off.

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    1. Hell yes, it raises your game.

      Confidence becomes solidified when you know that you have the ability to go out, isolate a girl from her friends, get her friends approval, take her back with you, and bang her brains out. That’s not easy, I used to think impossible.

      Now…heh.

      Good to see your name Clint.

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  8. Prefer it, to me being solo means do not have to put up with the noise from other ppl along for the ride. Simply pick out a conversation starter, not something obvious, they have heard it all before and as every women is a bit unsure about there look, and start..wait for it..talking

    Be clever, have moderately insightful guesses, ask if they read books etc, push pull and challenge

    Easy opener, if she is wearing heels, comment on them, works on so many levels

    Granted not the C McQueen flamethrower, but it will work to break the ice

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