In the course of developing yourself into a better man, there’s one key factor that was life-altering for myself that I’m going to share with you.
That one key was the act of forgiveness.
Forgiving those who had done me wrong whether it was a girl like this one, or a family member, or even a former close friend. If I would have never chose to forgive I would have stayed stagnant and never became happy again.
#5. Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean You Forget
While I chose to forgive (after over 2 years of struggling with it) the girl from this story, I will never forget. You can forgive someone, but learn from the experience and be wiser about what you allow into your life in the future. Oftentimes people confuse forgiveness with forgetting, but first off it’s impossible to forget those who have wronged us. Instead, choose forgiveness so that YOU can move on and become happy again, but remembering what happened and using that experience to make smarter decisions in the future is the best move.
#4. Revenge Is Bettering Your Life
The reality is that people who screw you over really don’t care about you, or they wouldn’t have done it in the first place. If you hang on to hate and bitterness, it truly only hurts YOU, because they have moved on and could give two fucks about you or how you’re feeling or doing. The absolute best revenge is living a great life. Focus on yourself, bettering yourself and live the life you want and you will find happiness and peace. Let the bitterness go and you will be better off for it.
#3. Forgive Your Way
I’m not going to tell you I know the secrets to forgive overnight, because it’s not that simple. I can merely share my experiences and how I did it, but I implore you to figure out your own way to forgive and as Frank used to say “I did it MY way”. Forgiveness is a process and don’t be surprised as you start down that path that it doesn’t happen overnight, but it is key to start that process today so you can become the man you can be.
#2. Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean You Have To Reconcile
This is the biggest one. Remember they hurt you. Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to contact them and tell them you forgive them. For me in most situations it wasn’t even an option, but forgiving them in your heart will be enough. Now if they contact you again and you choose to tell them, then that’s your prerogative, but it is not necessary in order to move forward with your life. Forgive in your heart and move on.
#1. Forgive Yourself First
The #1 way that I ‘beat’ myself up was not forgiving myself for not seeing the writing on the wall and taking the proper steps to remove myself from the situation. Listen up, if you don’t learn to forgive yourself you will never be able to forgive others. Realize that as a human we make mistakes, make stupid decisions and sometimes completely get it wrong, but that is okay. We are fallible. Forgive yourself and then you can forgive those who have hurt you.
Whether it’s that ex girlfriend or even ex-wife of yours, an old business partner or even family, identify who you hold bitterness towards, start the process of forgiving them and use that fuel to power you onto a next level of success in your life.
I can’t tell you the process of how long it will take because for each of us it’s a different time length, but what I can tell you is that if you start the process today, you will be one step closer to truly being happy, having more peace in your life and laying the groundwork for a successful life.
Let it go. I did and I am a better man for it.
Cheers to the week gents, let’s have a great one.
Better yourself as a man here.
Party with me in Vegas and have your best weekend yet.
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