Elevate Your Life: Let It Go

In the course of developing yourself into a better man, there’s one key factor that was life-altering for myself that I’m going to share with you.

That one key was the act of forgiveness.

Forgiving those who had done me wrong whether it was a girl like this one, or a family member, or even a former close friend. If I would have never chose to forgive I would have stayed stagnant and never became happy again.

#5. Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean You Forget

While I chose to forgive (after over 2 years of struggling with it) the girl from this story, I will never forget. You can forgive someone, but learn from the experience and be wiser about what you allow into your life in the future. Oftentimes people confuse forgiveness with forgetting, but first off it’s impossible to forget those who have wronged us. Instead, choose forgiveness so that YOU can move on and become happy again, but remembering what happened and using that experience to make smarter decisions in the future is the best move.

#4. Revenge Is Bettering Your Life

The reality is that people who screw you over really don’t care about you, or they wouldn’t have done it in the first place. If you hang on to hate and bitterness, it truly only hurts YOU, because they have moved on and could give two fucks about you or how you’re feeling or doing. The absolute best revenge is living a great life. Focus on yourself, bettering yourself and live the life you want and you will find happiness and peace. Let the bitterness go and you will be better off for it.

images

#3. Forgive Your Way

I’m not going to tell you I know the secrets to forgive overnight, because it’s not that simple. I can merely share my experiences and how I did it, but I implore you to figure out your own way to forgive and as Frank used to say “I did it MY way”. Forgiveness is a process and don’t be surprised as you start down that path that it doesn’t happen overnight, but it is key to start that process today so you can become the man you can be.

#2. Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean You Have To Reconcile

This is the biggest one. Remember they hurt you. Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to contact them and tell them you forgive them. For me in most situations it wasn’t even an option, but forgiving them in your heart will be enough. Now if they contact you again and you choose to tell them, then that’s your prerogative, but it is not necessary in order to move forward with your life. Forgive in your heart and move on.

#1. Forgive Yourself First

The #1 way that I ‘beat’ myself up was not forgiving myself for not seeing the writing on the wall and taking the proper steps to remove myself from the situation. Listen up, if you don’t learn to forgive yourself you will never be able to forgive others. Realize that as a human we make mistakes, make stupid decisions and sometimes completely get it wrong, but that is okay. We are fallible. Forgive yourself and then you can forgive those who have hurt you.

Whether it’s that ex girlfriend or even ex-wife of yours, an old business partner or even family, identify who you hold bitterness towards, start the process of forgiving them and use that fuel to power you onto a next level of success in your life.

I can’t tell you the process of how long it will take because for each of us it’s a different time length, but what I can tell you is that if you start the process today, you will be one step closer to truly being happy, having more peace in your life and laying the groundwork for a successful life.

Let it go. I did and I am a better man for it.

Cheers to the week gents, let’s have a great one.

Better yourself as a man here.

Party with me in Vegas and have your best weekend yet.

Read More: 10 Lies We’ve All Told

9 Replies to “Elevate Your Life: Let It Go”

  1. Awesome post, really like that you mentioned you don’t have to actually say to them “I forgive you” and it can be internal. Great info. The weekend game tips and the “elevate your life” are my favorite posts.

    Christian…when if ever, do you find it appropriate to burn bridges with someone?
    I’ve done it with people, and employers (low level jobs that I won’t be using as references) but it’s something I feel like might have some negative consequences in the future.

    Like

    1. You win more bees with honey and you have more options by not burning bridges.

      That doesn’t mean you can’t stop associating with that person though, but there’s a smooth way to do it and a ‘wrong’ way.

      Like

  2. Solid advice. Holding on to anger is like holding on to acid in one’s inside.
    Also, forgiving oneself is key, like you say. Every time I start to regret doing something or not doing something, I remember that life is about rolling with the punches, with its ups and downs.

    I do my best to be patient with myself and with others, remembering this verse from A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life
    http://bodhicaryavatara.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/chapter-6-patience/

    “Whatever befalls me I shall not disturb my mental joy;
    For having been made unhappy,
    I shall not accomplish what I wish
    And my virtues will decline.”

    Find your ‘mental joy’, gentlemen… and hang on to it.

    Peace,

    Carl

    Like

  3. Very thoughtful post. Number 4 is the biggest one that has helped me. Forgiveness is tough because as men we hate to lose, but if you focus on your life you can still come out a winner.

    Like

  4. #4 and #1 resonates the most with me.

    4) When I am not feeling motivated I use what could be bitterness of a past situation to get up and get after it; I get a nostalgic feeling knowing that people wish for an opportunity to come back into my space after some wrong-doing on their part.
    1) “I’m mad at myself cause I didn’t spot the weak-a-ling.” I don’t get angry at anyone else anymore, but myself because I’m sharp and I know better. Certain types of people will do certain things and when your gut is trying to tell you something..LISTEN! These things make you learn to forgive yourself, so you don’t become too robotic [severely lacking any empathy] and give the next person a fair shot.

    Gold Christian.

    King

    Like

  5. Hey bro what’s up with the forum? I’m getting a bunch of error messages and can’t see post s or log in. You in the process of changing it or something?

    Like

Your opinion is welcome...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s