Being beta doesn’t have to be a permanent condition. If you put in the work, get help, take the wisdom and apply it from those who know and re-train your habits and your mindset, you can break free from being a beta bitch boy.
I’m not hear to bash you over your beta head. Instead I’m here to help you fix these flaws and become a better man. Don’t get offended, instead take the bowl of tough love I’m dishing out and improve. I write from a place of experiencing most of these at one point in time so I know from whence I speak. If I can change, then so can you.
Here are 10 beta bitch boy validation habits that I’ve noticed dealing for years with guys who are struggling to get girls and become the men they can be. If you find yourself having any of these qualities, fix your behavior and start on your journey to becoming an alpha male.
#10. Sending Texts To Girls To Get Validation
This is a big one that regardless of your player level can get you caught up. Here’s some sample texts to explain what I mean.
“You miss me?” (facepalm)
“You thinking about me? Been thinking about you all day”
“Been thinking about you all day lol” (this is a weak attempt to see if she’ll reply expressing her feelings)
“But I love you”
“Do you like me anymore?”
“Are we still on for our date tonight?” (sigh)
“I’m excited for our future” (Somebody help this dude. Let girls bring up ‘the future’. Trust me, they will)
“How come you don’t text me back sooner?”
“Are you there?”
“I miss you!” (insert gay emojis)
“Can’t wait to see you tonight!” (Really?)
Insert any type of text just to get her chatting about mundane shit because you left your balls at home.
When in doubt of sending a text along these lines don’t. If your text game is weak, then fix that here.
#9. Asking For Compliments From Girls
This one is huge. Obviously, as men we love compliments and getting our egos stroked, but don’t be the dude who asks for compliments from girls, or hell anyone for that matter. If you have your shit together and a good lifestyle the compliments will come anyway. Girls RECOIL at guys who fish for compliments. Strike that. People in general. It screams “I’M WEAK AND NEEDY AND WANT VALIDATION!”.
#8. Putting Yourself Down To Get Pity
Self-deprecation is best served as a small dish. If you’re a naturally good looking guy and are an easy charmer a small does of self-deprecation can work very effectively, but don’t over-do it. On the flip side if you’re used to using pity as a way to get girls’ attention then you’re fucking up. Don’t be a weak wristed boy who needs to invoke pity in chicks to make yourself feel better. Make YOURSELF feel better. Take control.
#7. Replacing Flirting With ‘Being Friendly’
Ah this is a big one, because it’s easy for guys to just ‘be friendly’ with girls then admit they DO like the chick and want to flirt with her. This is also how some cats get friend-zoned within seconds of meeting a girl. If you want to get laid and be attractive to women then carry yourself as an alpha male who is unapologetic for his desire to have sex with pretty girls and enjoy life. Don’t take the ‘easy route’ because it’s a fast-lane to spending your Saturday night playing World of Warcraft and subscribing to Bang Bros Bus Bang Edition.
Being ‘friendly’ might seem like a fool-proof way to not get rejected, but it’s actually a fool-proof way to not get accepted.
#6. Relying On Online Game Solely
If all of your sex and dates this past year came from fill-in-the-blank-dating-app, then sign off and sign on to meeting girls in real life. Not only will it improve your game by 1,000%, but you’ll develop social skills that are impossible to learn swiping right.
#5. ‘Liking’ & Commenting On Hot Girls’ Photos
You gents already know this is pathetic. Be the guy ‘liking’ and writing comments like this one, “You’re so pretty! What’s your digits girl?!” or the guy IN the photos with her. Nuff’ said.
#4. Using The Phrase “She’s Not THAT Type Of Girl”
Take the pussy off the pedestal. Saying this statement validates you in the sense that it preserves your warped world view and allows for you to continue keeping your head in the sand. You don’t KNOW the girl, you don’t really know what she’s like. 9/10 times the girl is actually NOT a saint and you’re getting played.
#3. Fucking Fatties To Get Validation
This is an easy trap to fall into because in some measure it validates you that A GIRL does like you. Problem is garbage in, garbage out. Don’t dumpster dive because it’ll only reinforce any negative thoughts you might have about yourself. Instead, develop yourself into the man you can be and find girls you’re actually attracted to.
#2. Taking Back A Cheating Ex
Coming in at #2 is a HUGE one. It’s easy to reach back to the ex to get that validation you crave, but instead of it helping you move on it’ll only impede your progress. Once a whore, always a whore. If she cheats, she has to go. Don’t disrespect yourself to get a crumb of validation by even entertaining a cheating ex. In fact, she doesn’t even need to be a cheating ex. Once she dumps you that’s it. She had her chance and that window has slammed shut. Move on.
#1. Denying Reality
It’s easier to accept the world at face value then to take the wool off your eyes and realize that male/female relationships don’t work how the movies and society has told you your entire life. The validation you get from feeling comforted that bringing flowers and chocolate on the first date is the key to getting in her pants is the same irrational and flawed logic that will leave you clutching your blue balls and cursing the dating scene and game in general. Accept that there is a key to learning how women REALLY are, what you can do to have healthy relationships with them and that no matter what you will learn it and you’ll become good with women.