“How to screen men? What the hell Christian?!”
You might be thinking I made a typo (wouldn’t be the first time), or that this article belongs in Details magazine, but that’s not the case. The title of this article is correct and I’ll break down exactly what it means.
When discussing how to meet women, thousands of articles have been written by many players on how to effectively screen if they’re DTF, are they good for LTRs and should you put in much of an investment.
The little known secret that I’ve never seen discussed or written about, is how to screen men for male FRIENDSHIP.
That’s right. Not every man is meant to be your friend.
Male friendship is one of the great joys of life. Having pals you can tear up your city with, discuss problems you’re going through and overall building a strong support group of like-minded men, will help you become even more successful and a better man.
Here are 5 tips that have helped me decided if a guy is a possible friend or someone I should avoid.
#5. Does He Have His Shit Together?
By ‘shit’, I mean is he going places? Does he have goals? Does he have a strong vision that will help him eliminate the bullshit and reach it?
This doesn’t mean that you have to cut out friends that are not successful. But, you should take inventory of your current guy friends and see if any of them are displaying attributes that could be a negative influence on you.
The old saying, “You are the average of your 5 closest friends”, is the God’s honest truth. If you’re associating with losers and by ‘losers’ I mean negative, lazy, bitter men, then you cannot help but be influenced by them.
Choose your friends wisely, because they will either bring you up, or drag you down with them.
#4. Is He A Game Denialist?
This one may be tough for you, but do you really want to hang out with a guy who denies the power of game and who’s head is screwed on completely wrong when it comes to women?
Not only can they be some of the biggest cock-blocks, but if they constantly decline your advice and shit on your wisdom then it shows a deeper character flaw: the inability to change when faced with truth.
Your buddy doesn’t have to be an up and coming playboy sleeping with women left and right and living it up, but if they hold onto blue-pill concepts of relationships despite being faced with the truth multiple times, then you may need to reconsider if they’re good friendship material.
Gentlemen who know the blueprint for having successful dating and sex lives with women will always bond quicker and be able to help each other through breakups etc, over men who are blatantly ignoring fundamental truths and living their life with their head stuck in the sand.
#3. Is He A User?
By user I don’t mean drugs, although if your buddy is addicted to the needle then get them help and if they refuse, you might need to walk away, but ‘user’ in the sense that they only contact you when they need help.
A user is NOT a friend.
In the past I had some ‘friends’ who were definitely users. They only wanted to hang out when the bottles were flowing and the good times were to be had. When I started to go through hell and all of that slipped away, so did they. Now of course, in reality, they were never true friends, but I made it a point to cut those ties off and never rekindle them.
I always say you know a true friend if you call him at 2am on the side of a highway with a flat tire and he comes to help you.
Lastly, don’t be a user yourself! Offer value. If your buddy springs for tickets to the Super Bowl and takes you along, then think of something cool you setup that he can enjoy too.
Friendship is a two-way street. Don’t be friends with users and don’t be a user yourself.
#2. Is He Jealous?
This is a big one.
You will find out very fucking quick how real your friends are when you have success in your life.
It could be something like you pulling the hottest girl from the bar, or that you got a promotion at work, or even that you dress better and have better game because you read this blog and he doesn’t, but whatever it is, if your ‘friend’ shows extreme jealousy then you might need to end that friendship.
Jealousy is cruel and unjust. If a buddy can’t be happy for your success, then he truly doesn’t wish the best for you.
At the same time check your actions. Are you bragging all the time?
If you constantly rub your success in your friend’s face, then perhaps it’s you that needs to check yourself, instead of them. Work hard for success, enjoy your success, but don’t feel the need to constantly remind your buddies’ of how well you’re doing.
Success speaks for itself.
It’s natural as humans to want what others have, but to genuinely get angry and be upset at their success shows a deeper character flaw. Check for genuine jealousy among your buddies because it’s the bad type of green that will drive a wedge eventually.
#1. Is He ‘Better’ Than You?
By ‘better’ I mean is he in a better place game wise and financially?
I’ll let you in on a little secret about my own life: every time I experienced extreme personal growth was when I developed friendships with men who were better than me with women, money and life in general.
Guess what happened?
I grew. And grew. And grew.
If you have a complex to where you always need to be the biggest shark in the room, then you will never reach your potential. Don’t worry about taking a backseat in exchange for learning and becoming a better man. You will never grow by hanging out with lazy losers, but you will grow by hanging out with hopeful winners.
Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and make friends with successful types. It will either push you to achieve more and become great, or you will wither away back into the company of schmucks.
What will happen is entirely up to you. What will you choose?
Did you miss my NYC video interview? Watch Part 1 by clicking the screen below.
Part 2 can be seen here.
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Read More: How To Be Cool Part 1