How To Create Sexual Tension


Sex. Rough and tumble sex. Hardcore sex. Soft love makin’ sex. Sensual sex. No holds-barred straight out of a porno sex. Sex on bales of hay. Sex in nightclub bathrooms. Sex on hoods of million dollar cars. Sex in private jets. Sex rocks. If you don’t agree that sex rocks, then you’re probably reading the wrong blog.

But, before you get to the really fun act of getting naked with a sexy woman, the sexual tension you create before you have sex will speed up the process and make it more intense and enjoyable for both parties.

Creating sexual tension is hands down my favorite aspect of flirting with a girl. The more new the acquaintance, the more curious I am about how much sexual tension I can create with her.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: women crave sexual tension.

Women love sexual tension.

Sexual tension plays into fantasies that women have.

The art is in the tease. The mix of just the right ingredients of alpha male body language, what you say and more importantly, how you make her feel, creates a combination that reveals itself in her as unbridled lust for you.

I’ve touched on this before in this article, but Creating A Bubble is paramount in building this tension.

What is Creating A Bubble?

It’s the act of drawing her in through the senses: sight, smell, sound, taste and touch. The more intense the experience, the more that sexual tension is built, until she cannot wait to rip your shirt off. If you properly lay the building blocks before you get to the point of having sex, she will be eager to have sex with you. If you have to sit on the couch for three hours trying to get her to take her bra off, then quite simply: you have not properly amped the sexual tension to the point where it will happen ‘naturally’ and with enthusiasm. Who wants to have reluctant sex? Not I.

How Do You Create A Bubble?

Through the 5 Senses: sight, smell, sound, taste and touch.


Your eyes are your most important tool as a playboy who enjoys the company of sexy girls. Yeah, you being 6’4″ isn’t necessary. Everyone has eyeballs, so there’s no excuse not to learn how to use your greatest asset when communicating with a girl. And hell, you don’t even have to have great eyes.

If you do, awesome, but I don’t have the ‘sexiest’ eyes and I’ve learned to use them to create an insane advantage over most guys by harnessing the power of eye contact and penetration. Not the kind of penetration you’re thinking, but ‘penetrating’ her eyes and ‘seeing’ into her soul. When I look into her eyes, I am communicating silently my desire to take her and bring the most intense pleasure she has ever received in her life. Girls feel this down to their core.


This is two-fold: how you smell and how you use your nose to smell her. I’ve covered every single aspect of smelling good in this article on how to pick a cologne, so you’re covered in that respect. The main point is, smell great. Find a cologne that combined with your natural body chemistry makes girls stop you in a store and ask what you’re wearing. If you’re not getting comments on how good you smell, then switch colognes.

The second aspect of this, is smelling her. You’re not sniffing like a rabid dog, but essentially breathing her in when you kiss, or nuzzle her neck. Smell her collarbone and around her neck. Breathe her in. Imagine the two of you are one person. You will almost feel a ‘buzz’ of electricity when you do this.


Sound is of course, what you say and what she hears. I’ll let you in on another little secret because it’s Friday and I’m in an excellent mood: silence is one of the key ways that you build sexual tension. People are afraid to shut their mouth and simply be and to allow silence to thicken in the conversation.

Here’s a practical example of how this works:

Her: “You seem like a player type, do you always do this?”

Wait 2-3 seconds, not fidgeting, but calmly looking her in the eye in a dominate fashion and throw in a small smirk…

You: “You seem like a type that likes players”

She nervously laughs and looks away, then tosses you a look with her eyes shining bright. Hooked.

This works because you don’t deny, you don’t apologize, you simply ‘call out’ her shit test in a smooth manner.

Another way to use silence to create tension, is when she asks you a question later in the conversation when the two of you have become more comfortable and the sexual tension has intensified.

Her: “So what are your plans for Memorial Day Weekend?” (The question doesn’t matter)

Wait 2 seconds, then pull her close and kiss her on the mouth. This gentlemen, is spontaneity and women crave it with everything within them. Learn to be spontaneous, unpredictable and charming and you have the trifecta of getting women addicted to you.

You: “You bring the animal out in me” (whispered in her ear after the kiss)

Then turn your back on her and order a drink. Push-pull. Give and take. Attention, then ignoring. This isn’t done in a vindictive manner. It’s done in a fun roller-coaster type way that creates a fun, dynamic of sexual tension between the two of you.

And lastly, the use of actual words to create sexual tension. There are a myriad of statements you can make, but here are a few.

“Can you handle intense baby girl?”

“Something special is happening right this very moment”

“Come here” (kiss) Never underestimate the incredible power of a command to a woman. It’s catnip when calibrated for the situation and is also essential when using Frame.


I struggled with revealing the myriad of secrets I have on this, but like I said it’s Friday and I’m in a good mood.

There’s the obvious with kissing. No-brainer here, but keep your mouth fresh. I’m a smoker, but I carry Dentyne gum to keep my mouth fresh. If you have bad breath, the girl will run for the hills. No excuses, get your mouth fresh as fuck.

The not so obvious ways are ones that I have used for years. They work very well.

Using the example of you being at a bar enjoying some intimate moments with this sexy girl, here is a way you can build sexual tension through taste.

The Lime

Every bar has limes. Take a lime and squeeze it on your finger. When kissing her pull back and squeeze some of the lime on your finger. Gently trace her lips with said finger. Then gently insert your finger into her mouth.

Note: Do NOT shove it. This is done in a sensual and gentle manner. The girl will start to suck the lime juice off your finger while looking at you deeply with her eyes. She might even close them for a moment. You don’t have to use a lime, but lemons tend to be too sour and most bars don’t have orange slices sitting around, unless it’s an upscale lounge with ‘mixologists’, instead of bartenders.


Firm and Soft are the two ways to create sexual tension physically. You want to alternate between the two, but always calibrate based on the receptiveness of the girl to your touch. Some girls prefer more aggressive and rough. Some girls prefer more sensual and gentle. You will only know by trying both.

A hand on her lower back firmly placed is the golden #1 standing-at-the-bar-move that I and countless playboys have used. It’s tried and true. If you’ve kissed, then grabbing a handful of her ass, or a slight ass tap works as well, but be mindful of your surroundings. Less is more in public, unless you have the corner booth in the dimly lit lounge.

Touching her throat gently when kissing and the back of her neck (her nape) and gently running your hand through the back of her hair is also golden. Don’t pet her like a dog, but with your hand on the back of her neck when you’re kissing her, you can trace her ‘baby hairs’ (the hairs at the base of her neck) with your thumb.

I’m also a fan of tracing a girl’s lips before kissing. This creates intense anticipation before you kiss her and anticipation is an essential ingredient to a great kiss. Too eager and it’s a turn-off. Controlled, passionate and learning to pull back right as she really gets into it, will build some serious sexual tension.

This is just scratching the surface of building sexual tension, but if you’re interested in more articles like this one, do the following:

1. Leave a comment with YOUR favorite sexual tension move

2. Say whether or not you’d like more articles like this

Alright gents, it’s Friday (somewhere ha), so have a great weekend, be safe and apply what you’ve learned today. Ciao.


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Read More: Deep Conversion Game (Use With Caution)

  One thought on “How To Create Sexual Tension

  1. Hancel
    04/11/2016 at 12:44 am

    This has been a sticking point for a long time now and although I know I SHOULD be building up the sexual tension, I feel as though she would reject me for some reason or not be okay with it.

    I can approach, build attraction and do all the things necessary to bring a girl back to her place or mine, but I’m not fucking these girls. I know it’s because there’s no sexual tension because well, I’m not really comfortable with this aspect of game yet. I know it will get better though. I’ve never heard of any one talking about this aspect of a pickup like the way you have here, Christian. This is next level wisdom made of gold! I can see how the women I pull don’t think about sex with me because I’m not thinking about sex with me and creating that sexual vibe in my interactions.

    I appreciate ya man! I’d definitely like to invest in myself with one of your boot camps (if you do them) to fix this. Or what do you suggest?

    Thank you again!


  2. XIV
    01/29/2015 at 7:37 am

    That step 1 eye contact move sounds like dynamite. Attempted it recently but hasn’t worked for me thus far. I’m determined to learn more. Would love an elaboration from the big boss or even an in-depth article. Want to add it to my arsenal and eventually be able to use it in business also. Who wouldn’t want the director in the palm of your hand. – props to the man McQueen. He knows his shit


  3. Tony D
    01/24/2015 at 6:47 pm

    Defiantly want more articles like this amazing writing dude.


  4. Jace Lawren
    01/24/2015 at 6:41 pm

    This post brings up some memories, ha. Great Post!


    01/23/2015 at 6:42 am

    One of the best posts I’ve read yet! You should cover this type of stuff in your podcasts as well… I think it would go over well.


    • 01/29/2015 at 3:22 pm

      Good idea. Some stuff is better communicated with video though, so utilizing that medium to better explain these concepts.


  6. Klyde Hughes
    01/22/2015 at 9:50 pm

    I am going to borrow the lime move from your playbook. Taste is highly underrated.

    My move is the zig zag finger trace. Look at her in the eye for a few seconds, then with an appearance of curiosity while looking slightly above her eyes, slowly brush her hair behind her ear with one stroke using your right hand. Then following the direction of the stroke with your eyes while going around her ear, guide your index and middle finger slowly across her lips. This is a perfect tease that is guaranteed to get her wet, but it doesn’t end here. Once you get to the other side of her neck while still following the stroke of your index and middle fingers with your eyes, you can do two things depending on the condition:

    If she’s wearing a loose top or showing cleavage: Still in the motion brushing down her neck with you fingers, subtly hook your index finger into her top while hooking in deeper as your sliding your finger down to the middle of her top or dress. Then with a pinch upwards, pop her top. Remember to follow the motions of the brush stroke with a look of curiosity on your face, just as if you’re inspecting her body of whether it is good enough or not. After you pop her top, look at her in the eyes again, and give her the smirk of a player who knows he is about to get laid.

    If not: The spin off of this move is to slowly brush your hand under her shoulder blade and then diagonally down till you get to her booty. While doing this bring her close in enough that your head is above her shoulder. After you get to her booty press your hands down on it until you get under it. Give it a nice grab, and then she’ll get startled while at the same time loving it. Follow it up with another look at her eyes and a smirk.

    Any variation of this move will show who is boss and prime the girl before sex.


  7. Altair
    01/22/2015 at 8:44 pm

    I brush my teeth before going out since I don’t get hungry and eat late. Another benefit is fresh breath
    One of my favorite openers is gently wrapping my right hand on the nape of her neck then whispering dirtiness into her left ear.

    1) Position yourself so she’ll be standing to your right and facing the same direction.
    2) Place your right palm on her left shoulder, and keep it there to get her attention
    3) Motion for her to come in with your left hand. Most will azzume you got something important to say and lean left towards you.
    4) Now slide your right that was resting on her shoulder onto the nape of her neck and move your head to meet her ear at the halfway point. When you slide the ‘karate chop’ portion of your hand should glide from her shoulder to nape. If her hair is down, make sure you go underneath it to contact her skin and not hair
    5) Say what you had in mind into her left ear

    This is an excellent way to chug out the ones that have unhealthy attitudes towards sexual or can’t get wit you

    She shouldn’t feel the tip of your fingers because it makes people freeze up. Make sure your hands or at least the right isn’t cold. Getting a cold hand on the nape is like having water thrown in your face to wake up. Drinks should be held in the left hand. Most people are right handed, so this will make it available for defense in case shit hits the fan.


  8. G
    01/22/2015 at 5:07 pm

    Simply putting a girl’s hair behind her ear somehow makes them more submissive, waiting for more. Seeing that puts me in the zone, and, well.. heh.
    Would definitely like more of these, Christian. Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 01/29/2015 at 3:24 pm

      Yea, that’s true. The more willing she is to let you do that, the more she’s showing that she’s into you as well. The best is yet to come.


  9. Clamburglar
    01/22/2015 at 4:58 pm

    An exhale of warm breath just to the side of her ear.


  10. cecilhenry
    01/22/2015 at 3:44 pm

    Eye contact. SElectively given. And denied.


  11. 01/22/2015 at 2:37 pm

    Great collection of info, Christian. –Remember what you know, and learn something new every day… thanks for sharing.


  12. glasslike
    01/22/2015 at 2:11 pm

    Going for the kiss – pausing right before our lips touch – holding it – releasing the tension and kissing her. Works wonders
    Enjoyed this post!


    • 01/29/2015 at 3:26 pm

      Yep, it’s huge for creating tension. Most guys just charge in with their mouth like Eager Beavers.



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