A Lesson In Patience

Tick tock goes the clock. Staring at the clock on the wall does nothing to speed up time, but only makes it slow to a crawl.

All of us at some point in our life become impatient. We could be waiting on a job offer, a girl to text us back, or anything, but how does one deal with that slow-as-fuck in between time?

I personally, have struggled with being impatient my entire life. I have a Type A personality and like for shit to get done fast. If someone drags their feet, then I get annoyed. If people don’t respond when I want them to, then irritation sets in like a disease. I utilize the speed of implementation often with projects and it has worked very well for me. The problem is, I don’t control the world, nor everyone in it, so learning to develop patience has been of the hardest struggles of my life. While I haven’t fully conquered this nagging burden in my life, I have found a few methods for dealing with the ‘downtime’ of waiting on others and I’ll share them now.

#3. Distract Yourself

One of the best methods has been to distract myself from what I’m impatient about with something else that is productive. I’m not talking about wasting time, or dicking around in your downtime, but actually focusing all of your efforts on something else that you CAN control.

The feeling of impatience stems largely from feeling a lack of control regarding the situation.

While I’m not a control freak, I do tend to run my life with a certain amount of control on all aspects of it. Distracting myself with another project, or helping someone else while I’m waiting on others, can lessen the nagging annoyance of waiting on others while helping me not waste time.

Figure out what you can distract yourself with in a productive manner. You won’t be wasting time and you’ll get that sense of control back in your life which will help alleviate stress.

#2. The World Doesn’t Revolve Around You

The feeling of entitlement grows stronger with each passing generation, but understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around us will help you be less impatient. I tend to operate from a standpoint that shit should happen when I want it to, but ah how life will laugh in our face and then kick us to the ground when our egos get in the way.

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately ha, the world doesn’t revolve around me, so when I learned to let that go and understand that other people are busy with their respective lives and all of the chaos that comes with that, then I can take a deep breath and chill out.

I will say regarding this though, the easiest way to get people to say “How high?” when you say “Jump!”, is to have leverage over them.

The more they have to lose and the more of their life you control, the easier it is to get them to do what you want.

It’s no different then being someone’s boss. The more power you attain and the more you have to offer people the more they will seek to please you. This is not a bad thing, it’s just how the world works. Powerful people get shit done because they have the leverage to get people to do what they want, when they want it. Become more powerful and you’ll see how this works first-hand.

#1. Timing Is Everything

Sometimes it’s easy to think that we know it all, but this is rarely true. Timing really is everything and sometimes delays are actually the universe’s way of having our back. I remember a specific situation in my life where I was hired to do consulting on a soon to be built nightclub in Shinjuku (an area of Tokyo, Japan). This was going to be a multi-million dollar project and I was in charge of designing the actual layout and design of the club.

Many hours were put into the project.

Thousands were spent on architects and others helping me on the project.

The property was already bought and it was a matter of actually breaking ground.

I became impatient chomping at the bit for us to take this from concept to reality. Plans were made for me to fly to Japan for meetings. At the last minute, the main investor started to get cold feet about the entire project and the meetings were canceled. Needless to say, I was pissed.

Then a tragedy occurred with the tsunami earthquake of 2011 in Japan. I was scheduled to have been there during that exact time.

Would I have died? Who knows, but the point is that while I saw it as a bad thing when the main investor started to pull out, it was actually a good thing. Timing is everything. Everything. Sometimes there is something larger at work and what you think is a setback, is actually not. My impatience might have cost me my life, but thankfully it didn’t. The project was canceled and thousands of dollars were lost. The cost of business can sometimes be high, but you cannot put a price on your life.

Learn to wait patiently. Learn to let go of what you cannot control and focus on that which you can control. Your stress will drop, your productivity will increase and you might just find you’re a little more happy.

Here’s to a great week gentlemen.

Elevate your skills with women here.

Read More: The Secret To The Good Life

18 Replies to “A Lesson In Patience”

  1. Good post CMQ, I was the same way especially when I was younger. There are many ways of developing patience but one good way I found was meditation, amongst its many other benefits. There’s an App called Headspace that’s really great for its huge library of guided exercises for beginners and progressively builds to more advanced and longer sessions. I started out with 10 minutes a day, which felt like a long time and I couldn’t wait for it to be over in the beginning because I was so impatient. I have worked up to to 20 minutes a day now and when I go back to the 10 minute exercises they seem too rushed. This has now increased my ability roll with the punches in life and not get flustered or frustrated as easily.

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  2. “Sometimes there is something larger at work and what you think is a setback, is actually not.”
    Exactly! And sometimes what appears to be a blessing is actually a curse – precisely because of timing. I was once awarded a sizeable scholarship, which seemed at first to be the best thing that had ever happened to me and then turned out to be a terrible thing that not only cost my health, but paradoxically made me lose a lot of money.

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  3. Christian, as always I enjoyed your post. I have a question for you: can you post something related to the gym and game. I find it difficult to start conversations in this environment. You know, you probably are going to see these girls often. Another suggestion not under the game category: do’ s and don’ts at the gym.

    Thank you,
    Albert

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    1. When I’m at the gym I’m in the zone and I don’t like to talk to anyone, so I’m not the guy for tips about gym game. However, I have gotten some numbers from the gym, but it was because I was opened by the girls. One asked me to help her with her ab exercise technique. Another wanted to work in with me on a leg machine/squats. All of these happened organically and I put out zero effort. If you’re looking to talk to chicks at the gym though, I would keep the following in mind:
      1. Look for the girls who aren’t serious about their workouts and are looking around at the guys. These girls want to be opened.
      2. Keep it short and sweet. Get their number towards the end of your workout and then bounce. Don’t be that guy standing around for 10 minutes talking in the gym.
      3. The girls who are hyperfocused working out will probably be annoyed, so be smart. I’ve heard of guys getting banned from gyms because they used a spam approach on girls who in turn complained they were being harassed.
      Personally, there’s plenty of other places to talk to girls and I don’t like to be bothered when I’m working out, so it’s not my focus, but that’s just my 2 cents.

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  4. Focusing on only what you can control(which sadly isn’t a whole lot in my mind) is a great way to live your life. It aggravates me when bitch and moan about things completely out of their control, like the weather. You’re only harming your own well being when you get butt hurt about those kinds of things. Remember that no own owes you anything, not time, money or even love.

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      1. Entitlement is not necessarily a bad thing – only in the case of its post-modern, democratic variant. It is no accident that the aristocrats from the Old South were great warriors, or that many aristocratic Victorians became great explorers or men of letters. Individuals that leave their mark do not go around believing the world owes them nothing. On the contrary! They not only feel entitled to a great deal, but are also ready to stake their claim. Of course one should temper that with equanimity before the hazards of fortune, but that does not mean entitlement should be deemed a wholly bad thing.

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  5. I never comment on blogs but wanted to share a piece of valuable wisdom I picked up that was invaluable to teaching me patience. This simple technique involving delayed gratification, practiced over time, has nearly cured me of impatience. What I do each time something comes my way that I do have control over, I wait to experience it until I no longer have that need for immediate gratification. Let me give you an example. Say you get a text from a hot chick you haven’t heard from for a while. You’re immediately curious and want to see what she wrote. Wait… don’t read the message. It should remain unread until you find that you don’t have that feeling of urgency in you. This isn’t always easy and at first you’ll probably cave earlier than you should. However, employing this in all areas of life will eventually teach you patience and eliminate the need for immediate gratification in life. Overall, you become more relaxed and employ prudence in decisions that can have serious implications on your life. One important note is to not be stupid about this technique. If your boss sends you an email, don’t wait around a week before reading it. Good luck.

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  6. Patience is very much key, ive had the same problem and its affected everything from my work to my relationships with women, even my appearance since my impatience has led me to buy clothes i dont really want or cut my hair before it should be cut. As ive been dealing with this issue also these tips are definetly helpful! Thanks!

    P.s. do you happen to know any good hairstylists/barbers in the LA area?

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  7. Very timely post, exactly what I needed to hear. Do you still do consulting in relation to nightclubs? One of my dreams is to help open a nightclub in Delhi or Mumbai and it’s already in the conceptual stage. I met the top local DJ in Delhi and he’s very serious about the project. He gave me a list of 18 points to be worked out and one of them was to find international consulting so I mentioned I know of a guy in LA who used to operate a nightclub and that we could try consulting him.

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  8. Yeah this is interesting. There’s a certain amount of faith you have to have in the timing of things, since it’s not always easy to see beyond the here and now. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading this.

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