5 Essentials For Your Bachelor Pad (That Will Help You Get Laid)

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Setting up your bachelor pad as a haven for yourself and your sexy female guests is an integral part of making it easy for you to get laid. Besides the obvious comforts for yourself, these 5 essentials will make your life easier and provide you ‘tools’ for when a girl is over to make her comfortable. The more comfortable she is, the more she won’t want to leave and we all know what that means…

Unlike most top 5 must-have bachelor pad lists on the interwebz, these are the less than obvious ones that will actually help you get laid and aren’t thinly veiled affiliate boosters disguised as ‘articles’. Most of those lists state the obvious: “Lamps, candles and condoms!” Yea, no shit. Plus, these items can be had for any budget, so if you’re not ballin’ out yet, have no fear, you can afford these.

Here we go…

#5. Baby Wipes In The Bathroom

Keeping it real, how many times have you had a girl go straight to the bathroom after coming over to your place for the first time? Classy chicks use baby wipes to wipe their you-know-what. It keeps it fresh and is gentle on their uh-delicate skin down there. Grab a pack at your local pharmacy or grocery store and put them on the back of the toilet (so she can see them).

On another note, ALWAYS have toilet paper. You might wipe your ass with sandpaper, but nothing will piss a chick off more than going to wipe and there’s one dangling sheet of TP left. Buy in bulk.

Pro-Tip: pick a scent you like, since she’s wiping her you-know-what with it. I would avoid fruity scents and stick to baby fresh or powder though.

Boots-Baby-Soft-Cloth-Wipes-64Pack

#4. Multiple Phone Chargers

Girl at the club: “I’d come over, but my phone is dead and I really need to charge it”

You: “What kind of phone do you have?”

Girl: “A Droid”

You: “I have a Droid charger at my spot less than 5 minutes from here. Let’s go charge it”

Slam-dunk.

Having different phone chargers has been one of my ‘secret tools’ I’ve used for years. Make it easy on her and it’ll be easy for you.

Pro-Tip: Get a multi-use charger like this one. Less clutter and charges virtually any phone.

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Most Popular Ones You Should Have:

-iPhone 4S

-iPhone 5

-iPhone 6

-Droid

-Blackberry (for the corporate type chicks)

If she has an ancient phone unlike any of these listed, then you should probably marry her. Kidding.

#3. Strawberries & Champagne

I’ve never had a girl turn-down champagne and most girls like strawberries as well. Keep a couple of bottles of champagne in your refrigerator and a box of strawberries. You don’t have to buy Dom, just get some decent bottles from your grocery store or liquor store like my recommendation below.

Pour champagne in a flute, cut the ‘head’ (the leafy part) off the strawberry and drop it in the glass.

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Another slam dunk.

Pro-Tip: Barefoot Bubbly Pink Moscato is a favorite of girls and it’s only $9-12 depending on where you live. Here’s the link (not an affiliate link) to the exact bottle to help you gents out: Barefoot Bubble Pink Moscato

#2. Finger Food

You sick fucks, get your mind out of the gutter haha. Food might seem obvious, but how many times have you hung out at a buddy’s house after drinking and his idea of food in the fridge is bologna and Lays chips? GTFO.

Chicks, no matter if they’re prancing down the runways of Milan, like to eat food after drinking. In my Nightclub Bible I broke down how going for food after the club is a huge cockblock, so it’s essential you have this base covered already before you go out for the night.

Girl at the club: “I guess I’ll come over, but lets grab food at XYZ late night diner first” (aka she sobers up, thinks you’re ugly now and has to go home because she ‘has to get up early for work’)

Fuck that.

Be prepared. Have good food at your house, so you can respond with, “I have fresh calamari at my pad. And champagne. Let’s go doll”.

Slam-dunk.

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The key to having optimum finger food is that it’s light and aphrodisiac. Here’s a list of items you can’t go wrong with.

-Oysters

-Calamari 

-Chocolate (yea yea, but make it easy on yourself and get a box of Queen Cherry’s. Odds are she’ll like one of them in the box at least)

-Fruit and Vegetable trays. You can snatch these up at your local grocer and they come with dip as well. Having easy ready to go food that will ease her hunger pangs without bloating her up like Taco Hell is best.

-Shrimp cocktail. Have them pre-cooked and in a Tupperware so you can just pull them out and eat them with cocktail sauce.

Avoid extremely spicy foods and ‘heavy’ foods that will make her tired.

Last tip, have coffee, even if you don’t drink it. Invest in a cappuccino machine and you’ll have girls begging to come over and use it. Caffeine will keep the party going.

#1. A Cashmere Blanket And/Or A Thick Soft Rug

Ha you’re probably thinking “A fucking blanket Christian???”, but this isn’t off the top of my head.

I actually took a poll with girls about this.

The #1 item on this list is “a soft blanket or a thick soft rug”. While I usually would caution on taking advice from a girl on what works with getting laid, I used the poll to confirm what I already knew was true: chicks love soft blankets, especially after a night out.

For them, being able to take their shoes off, curl their feet underneath their legs on your couch and not have their you-know-what hanging out defines comfort. One girl actually told me that, “I want to be able to throw a blanket over my legs so I can sit on the couch without the vag hanging out”. Yes, she said ‘vag’, ha. I died laughing, but it makes sense.

Have it folded on your couch, or hell even your bed and unfold that fucker and toss it over her if the two of you are chilling on the couch before you make your move kissing her.

Celebrity-Model-Woman-Sexy-Fireplace-Warm-485x728

They say that Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug at his house. The bear isn’t dead, he’s just too scared to move.

If you have the cash, also drop some money on a large super soft rug. This might set you back some bills, but lay on that soft rug with a chick, sip on champagne and you can bet she’s going to get turned on. I chalk it up to primal urges of laying on bear skin rugs and having incredible sex with the chick in your cave.

Let me tell you…no girl in her right mind is going to jump up and say, “Fuck this delicious champagne and strawberries I’m sipping on, and fuck the delicious jumbo shrimp cocktail I’m munching on and mostly, fuck this super soft sensual cashmere blanket that’s wrapped around my petite body!”. 

There you have it gents: another game changer from yours truly.

Now, what are some of the essentials YOU use for your bachelor pad to help you get laid? Comment below like a Boss.

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Read More: How To Pimp Out Your Bachelor Pad In 9 Easy Steps

20 Replies to “5 Essentials For Your Bachelor Pad (That Will Help You Get Laid)”

  1. Funny thing as I was reading number one I was thinking…blanket, blanket haha. I have at least 4 microfiber blankets in my apartment. One on the couch when you walk in, one near the food of my bed. One in a hangout room and another somewhere by the kitchen table. I’be never had a girl not complement the microfiber blanket. Cost me $15 at big lots

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  2. Serious question… what are people using, if having toilet paper is a novelty you only stock up on when you’re having a lady round?

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      1. Hi Christian!

        I came across your blog and I wanted to reach out to see if you’d be interested in speaking with me about your experience and thoughts about interior design/decorating, since you seem like quite the stylish guy!

        I am currently working with a company that’s building a new experience customized and catered to men and their homes.

        I would love to chat with you briefly and hear your thoughts. Do you have 15 minutes to chat sometime early next week?

        Please let me know if you have any questions. I look forward to speaking with you! You can e-mail me at alyssa@bbloc.co as well!

        Thanks for your help,

        Alyssa

        Like

  3. Have some Sangria ready to go- easy to make and keep. Take the leftover wine from yesterday’s fun (half bottle should do), add glass of OJ, those strawberry heads (toss some actual berries too) and a mini of gin or vodka. Stir, let sit till fun comes over. Serve next day topped with club soda for breakfast…

    Wipes I adopted from Ex-LTR years ago. They be gold.

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  4. Brilliant post. We think alike in terms of the experience that we provide for our lady. I wont give away my secrets just yet (I am sure that Christian’s are worth paying for now) but having a bottle of listerine/mouthwash in the bathroom has been priceless. Dating articles will tell you to leave a toothbrush out – like fuck I am going to have 15 extra toothbrushes hidden somewhere.

    When a girl feels clean and refreshed at the end of the night (and again in the morning if you do it all right), it helps her to give or receive flirtatious behaviour and foreplay. Leave mouthwash out in the bathroom.

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  5. Aah Christian I haven’t been on your blog for a bit due to lots happening in my life but you are still spitting straight gold my friend !

    I’m about to go back and read all your posts from the last month.

    BTW, just one little thing about the article… I tried number 3 but she got up and left when I slam dunked the strawberry in the champagne. What did I do wrong? ;P

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  6. Great actionable, no BS article as usual. But it has me wondering Christian, what does the King’s B-Pad look like? I’ll respect your privacy concerns, but maybe a post describing your digs would be cool.

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  7. Intresting pieces of art, or maybe a stethoscope to play doctor with.

    If youre feeling daring why not leave some handcuffs laying around?

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  8. Phillips Hue Lights in your recessed lighting spots. These lights are amazing, any color you could possibly want in the click of a button. I have several saved ‘scenes’ that are perfect for setting any kind of mood. I also have a separate app Hue Disco that syncs the lights and their colors to music if its playing in the room. Perfect for winding down chill music, but also amazing for pumped up pregaming. Completely transforms a room.

    All controlled through the iPhone/iPad.

    Liked by 1 person

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