When I scope a joint, I look for other players. I don’t do this to see if I have competition, because at a certain point in a player’s career he has adopted the law of abundance mentality to such an extent, he could give a rat’s ass about ‘competition’. He is secure in his player skills, his ability to dominate a room and he knows based on years of experience, that it’s really up to him to make it happen.
The reason I look for other players, or guys who show a shred of skill, is so that I can learn from them.
Yep, I love to learn new things about social dynamics and specifically how to get even better with women.
If you adopt a mindset that you have reached the pinnacle of playerdom, then you will peak.
You can always learn, always be striving and will always have room to grow.
One such thing that I learned from observing other players, was the “I’ve known you my whole life” approach.
There was a certain cat in my social circle back in college that had this easy going, almost Hank Moody-esque way about his approaches.
He would notice a girl, walk over and say something like this:
“What’s going on?”
“You just get here?”
“Where’s your friends?”
“Look at this guy over here” and then motion towards someone acting like an idiot.
The first time I noticed him doing this, I had to ask, “Do you know her?” to which he replied that he did not know her at all and had never seen her before.
“But she acted like she knew you?”, I replied.
“Because I treated her like I’ve known her my whole life”, he said.
Nothing screams “I’m a secure man who approaches whoever I want, I do what I want when I want and the world is my playground”, then the guy who approaches a girl like he’s known her his entire life.
Think for a moment about how you approach people you’ve known since high school. I’m not talking about people who you haven’t seen in years, because that approach might be high energy, excited and over the top, but someone who you see all the time, how do you approach them?
You’re calm, composed and relaxed. You don’t care what they think about you because you KNOW them and you know that they KNOW you.
The dynamic is completely different than how most people approach people they don’t know: nervous, worried about how they will come across and unsure of what to say exactly.
When you approach a girl with the attitude that you’ve known her your whole life, here’s what happens:
- You’re calm
- You’re less nervous
- You could care less about whether she ‘likes’ you or not, because you’re assuming she already should
- You give off the vibe that you are NOT needy
- She gets curious, because she’s wondering: damn this guy is really chill and I don’t feel weirded out at all, plus I don’t feel PRESSURED to put on an act
- By opening her with a ‘line’ that assumes you have already have history with her, it allows you to skip those steps for a moment and provides a sense of comfort for her. This plays into Creating A Bubble which I explained about here.
The real key to this working well, is your body language and it also works very well for when you ‘approach’ girls in close proximity. If you walk 30 feet directly up to a girl stand, there with your arms folded across your chest and say a line like the ones I mentioned, it won’t work.
This is more of a side, casual ‘soft’ approach. Imagine you’re standing at the bar and there’s a girl about 5 feet away looking at the dance floor. You glide up to her from the side and drop one of the lines in an almost “we have a secret” type tone.
Your body language should be relaxed and casual.
This is disarming as fuck and it gives you a chance to ‘get in the door’ before her bitch shield starts to appear. Sometimes if she’s digging you, then the bitch shield won’t appear and the conversation will take off.
Having multiple tools in your player box is essential in the day and age we live in.
Add the “I’ve known you my whole life” approach and watch your approach rate success soar.
I know I’ll be using it this very weekend.
Have a great weekend gents, be safe and make your own luck. Cheers.
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