The Six Steps To Dating Taller Women

(Christian here. Today’s post is a guest post from Kyle over at and author of Cracking OkCupid I get inundated with emails about short guy game and I can only write about what I know about. He had approached me about writing a guest post to do with this exact same subject and after having seen him in action one night in Hollywood, I felt confident he could provide real value and insight into this topic. This post also is replacing today’s premium podcast due to a sore throat that has me sounding like Kermit the Frog. Enjoy.)

I stood in the elevator of the Shangri-La Hotel in Santa Monica and pressed the ground floor button. The elevators at the Shangri-La are extremely small, probably no more than 3×5. You can’t fit more than three people in them without getting pretty intimate. In addition, the dark lighting and decor makes it seem like something you’d see in a horror movie.

“This elevator is scary,” my date remarked, “I wouldn’t want to die in here.”
“It’s pretty sexy in here,” I replied, as I took a step toward her to cross the gap between our bodies. “And, I wouldn’t want to die without doing this,” as I closed the last remaining inches and pressed my lips against hers. She kissed me back enthusiastically and I ran my fingers to the base of her hair, and gave it a gentle tug.

Sometimes cheesy works.

A few seconds into our little make out session, I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself as I realized something.
I was standing on my toes.

Those of us blessed with a height less than six feet have our work cut out for us. We will rarely get the same amount of IOIs that someone with above-average height will receive. We must always deal with shit tests about being “short”.

Simply put: short guys usually have to work harder than tall guys for the same rewards when it comes to women.

It also makes those same rewards that much more rewarding.

I stand 5’8″, maybe 5’9″ on a good day. The girl I mentioned above was about 5’9″, and was wearing three inch heels. She was a gorgeous girl – dark brown hair, was slim, and had a great pair of legs. Christian can attest to this, as I sent him a photo when I first proposed writing this guest post. She is, for all intensive purposes, out of my league from a physical standpoint. However, this isn’t the first time I’ve been with girls who have a few inches on me, and it’s not that difficult to pull off with the right mindset.

How To Date Girls Taller Than You

1.) Realize that you are probably average height, not “short”.

First off, you need to have a mindset shift before you dive in to go after tall girls. Yes, the average American male height is about 5’9.5″ but just because you’re 5’7″ doesn’t mean that you’re short. Short has an extremely negative connotation, so it’s important to get that out of your head.

It is similar to fat chicks calling themselves curvy, but there’s nothing you can do about height. You shouldn’t think of yourself as any less worthy because of your height. Speaking of fat…

2.) You can be average height, but you can’t be fat or super skinny.

Short of shooting yourself up with some human growth hormone, there is nothing you can do about your height. There is plenty you can do about the rest of your body.\

I used to be pretty fat myself, and there’s no way I’d have a chance with girls three inches taller than me if I was still at that weight.

Having a good physique helps to offset the height difference.

3.) Never bring up the height difference in an insecure way.

Frankly, it’s better off just to not bring up the height difference at all. If she’s entertaining your interaction, or on a date with you, you know she likes you. It’s best not to let any of your own insecurities bubble to the surface and give her any reason to doubt you. Therefore, phrases or questions such as the following are completely off limits:

– Does it bother you that you’re taller than me?
– Do you always wear heels like that?
– Have you ever dated a shorter man?

If she’s tall – she’s probably dated shorter men and has come to terms with it. Or (hopefully), she’s a nice girl who doesn’t care about something that you can’t control anyway.

Now, you can bring it up in a humorous way. You must have a strong frame when doing this, though. A little self-depreciating humor can go a long way towards showing her that you don’t care about the height difference.

Remember that women want to follow a strong man, so if you can show her you’re at ease with the height difference through humor, it may help to alleviate any doubts she has.

For example, the first venue I went to on my date was to an outdoor bar. It was absolutely packed and there was no where to sit, other than a couple tree stumps that are utilized as stools. I made a big deal and made her sit on the small one, proclaiming that the small stump was “the seat for the midgets.”

Other examples of humor which are acceptable (if done correctly) is telling her to let you sit on her shoulders for a better view, or asking if you can borrow her heels. Obviously, this should all be done in a goofy manner – frame is very critical. If you are at all insecure about your height, these can (and will) backfire on you.
Use with caution.

4.) If she brings up the height difference, smash the shit test out of the park.

There is a good chance that at some point or another, she will bring up your respective heights. This has nothing to do with how she feels about you in most cases.

What she wants is the assurance that you are a strong man who isn’t bothered by something like that.

Your mileage may vary, but common shit tests she might throw at you include:

– You’re shorter than me.
– Do you like taller girls?
– I like to wear heels, A LOT.

Your responses can be as simple as you’d like.

– You’re shorter than me. Yep, I sure am.
– Do you taller girls? Who doesn’t love girls with legs?
– I like to wear heels, A LOT. ME TOO! I have a ten inch pair that I almost wore tonight.

Simply follow the usual methods of dealing with shit tests. Either agree and amplify to ridiculous proportions, or give short, dodging answers and change the topic. Personally, I always prefer the agree and amplify method.

5.) Be extra dominant.

Women want to feel small. They want to feel dominated. You can make her feel this way even if you’re shorter than her. It doesn’t make logical sense, but most things don’t when it comes to women.

If you’re going after taller girls, you may want to up the usual dominance. I got pretty aggressive from the opening kiss with this girl by pulling her hair in the elevator. I’ve had girls on my bed who shit tested me about my height as I was taking off their clothes.

My response to that is to throw them on the bed and ask if the height difference bothers them after I get on top of them. So far, I haven’t had any of them object after that point.

Because you don’t have the height dominance over them, you have to show it in other ways.

6.) Going after taller girls takes confidence, and they love that.

Most men do not go after girls that are taller than them. If you choose to go after tall girls, bat away their shit tests, and prove that you don’t care that they’re taller – it simply oozes confidence off of you.

You must also remember that some of these girls are not being approached as much as others because of their height.

Guys who are above six feet tall are just as likely to go after a girl who is 5’1″ as they are the girl who is 5’11”. Height doesn’t matter to men as much as a pretty face, BMI, boobs, and ass do. Therefore, the tall girls actually will have less options in the dating market because many shorter men won’t give them a chance.

You will stand out as an above average man with extreme confidence if you are willing to approach taller women without it phasing you out.

The story with the girl from the elevator is still in progress. We made out more, she drove me home, but wouldn’t come up to my apartment. Regardless of what happens in the future with her, the important thing is that I crossed that gap and went for it.

Even if I had to stand on my toes.


Read More: 6 Game Tips For Newbies

10 Replies to “The Six Steps To Dating Taller Women”

  1. My ex significant other sent me a text saying I should visit this site. I am a height challenged male 5’3″ (short) and she is a beautiful woman 5’9″ and add the heels and the awkwardness and looks, stares and odious comments I felt she really didn’t deserve or i and decided to
    end the relationship. Sorry the issue was


  2. Saw this blog and the rhetoric is just that. I am a short
    guy 5’4″ fortunatley i was blessed with good looks so I
    got one out of two. I do get rejections because of shortness, however there are plenty of tall women and almost all women are tall for me. I find women from
    like 5’2″ to 5’7″ are the most judgmental with my height and 6′ feet and taller many times Just want to
    know what it’s like with a short guy.


  3. This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the foxes who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH. And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.

    One 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to. I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches. She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men. On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all. Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.

    This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection. Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry. I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality. No. The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height. Not a one even bothered to put forth the effort to get to know me much less date me.

    I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”. (I am 5’8”) And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence and a tie in with this blog. No doubt all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s, for I certainly didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking. These women were past their prime and worried. I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years. It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did. When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife. I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age. Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them. I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier would not have given me the time of day. And even now, they may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them. I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women. Why go old, when I could go young? I was amazed how the dating game changed in my favor. And I used it to my advantage, just as women had done years earlier.
    I am now married and have 4 sons. I have 3 degrees, and I have co-authored 2 US patents. I could have provided a good life to any girl. I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance. I was turned down consistently and without a second thought. (Maybe due to the Alfa male fascination) So, if you find yourself in your late 20’s or early 30’s with no prospect of a husband or children in the immediate future, you have no one to blame but yourself. There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity. (This also applies to average height women, too) And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man (and Beta males) until it is too late. You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males (and Beta males) in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate. There are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones. So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them. I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship. Throw away the yardstick, for you may find someone like me, who would love to share his life and love with a tall girl.

    By the way, another tie in with this article and be found at this web site.
    This writer tell about his rejections in his 20’s by women only to find that women now chased after him, in spite of his height, now he is in his early 30’s. He warns of the dangers of the “Reformed Heightest Woman” who are desperate after wasting their life chasing the Alfa male and now want a stable Beta with a steady pay-check.
    Here is anther on how women who found the Mr. Average (Beta Males) were worth nothing in their 20’s and now that these women are in their 30’s can’t buy a date, even from the Beta Males

    Why women lose in the dating game

    During their 20s, women compete for the most highly desirable men, the Mr Bigs. Many will readily share a bed with the sporty, attractive, confident men, while ordinary men miss out. As Whiskey puts it at ”Joe Average Beta Male is about as desirable to women as a cold bowl of oatmeal.”
    ”I can’t believe how many men my age are only interested in younger women,” wails Gail, a 34-year-old advertising executive as she describes her first search through men’s profiles on the RSVP internet dating site. She is shocked to find many mid-30s men have set up their profiles to refuse mail from women their own age.

    Talking to many women like her, it’s intriguing how many look back on past relationships where they let good men get away because they weren’t ready. American journalist Kate Bolick wrote recently in The Atlantic about breaking off her three-year relationship with a man she described as ”intelligent, good-looking, loyal and kind”. She acknowledged ”there was no good reason to end things”, yet, at the time, she was convinced something was missing in the relationship. That was 11 years ago. She’s is now 39 and facing grim choices.


  4. Great article. As an Asian guy who is 5″7, I have the privilege of being short and a visible minority so I can definitely relate to the struggles and successes. I have to work my ass off and harder than most others to get results with women. Like Kyle said, with bigger challenge also comes bigger rewards and I savour every it every single time. I remember once hitting on a taller girl with her friends at a bar, they shit tested me about my height and I casually replied with “well, it takes a stronger man to date a taller woman” and they all agreed with me. It’s all about the frame.

    There are other things shorter guys can do as well, such as wearing elevator insoles (no shame in it, women wear heels at night, and people are generally 3-4 inches taller at night) and getting more muscular. Projecting sexual intent through eye contact is also huge and another thing that has worked for me.

    As an aside, for me personally, the tallest girl I’ve dated is 5″9 not because I’m insecure but when they get to Amazonian heights I just don’t feel the physical attraction, so to each their own.


  5. I’ll throw this out for debate-
    All you white guys all obsessed over your shortness remember World wide average male height is only 5’7

    And 2nd…
    In terms of female beauty (I admit it could be brainwashing by the media but I listen to my bodies response when looking at a woman too) most People lay oh Playmates are only 5’4-5’6 and have 34cs. Now for me fellas a gi who’s 5’5 with c cups or better makes me want to fireman carry her to the nearest bathroom or take her up against a tree. Average height white women with ample tits are all I want personally. Im a big dude and have been told aim scary looking (whatever) but a tall 5’10 chick usually tries to act manly and talk aggressive and that’s nauseating to me. Have you guys ever seen a naive sweet gushing with smiles petite 19yo it’s like she’s just flowing with estrogen and sweetness just draws you in. But man those Amazon volleyball players are like men and two of them I’ve know have actually punched men and laugh about it (one a pickup at a bar gonenwrong the other a redneck family dispute with “mah brutuer n low”). Amazon girls are nasty imo (I’m 6’4 and they kill my boner past 5’7). Those chicks act like men and if a bitch (or as home) hit me theyd be thinking a ball bat hit them in the head when I go off on their head with my 8 years of boxing training behind me. This is my thoughts on the subject- stacked spinners are what I love- I guarantee you’ll theyll sell more prints or down loads than a a cup greyhound.


  6. We all have game “obstacles”, and I use the term loosely. It’s these obstacles that make us better, forcing us to adapt. My issue isn’t height (I’m 6’1) but rather ethnicity (hispanic) in a very white dominant south orange county environment.


    1. I’d love to know McQueens perspective on Orange County CA (FL aka Orange Co FL/Orlando sucks too). Dude I say LA county or Vegas and in Florida Miami or Tampa.

      I almost got in a fight in Dana Point at a Taco Bell on my way to the beach with some typical OC snob hater just due to their arrogant assholism and my in your face East coast style. If they’d done that crap in Miami they’d be going to the hospital. I just despise that place (mainly for the people)-the nightlife sucks, and the people are annoying they do have awesome beaches and malls though.


      1. I’m not McQueen, but I did write this article and have lived in SoCal for the last 6 years so I’ll chime in; though admittedly I haven’t lived in OC.

        I’ve spent a decent amount of time there though, and it’s a hybrid cross of LA and SD. Doesn’t have the star power of LA, but doesn’t have the laid back beach vibe of SD. It’s for the most part suburbs. The only place I’d consider living for nightlife and partying, as a single guy, would be Costa Mesa/The Triangle area. Irvine, Laguna, Anaheim, etc. are very suburban like. Not to mention driving around on the freeways after drinking is asking for trouble.

        Having lived in SD and LA, I’d say just pick one of those as opposed to being caught in limbo in OC.


      2. Yeah, I feel ya seth. Most asshole people I’ve been around. Making moves to head back towards LA. On a side note if you’re into cougars. South OC has an insane amount.


  7. I’m 5’6″ whenever a taller girl brings up hieght or heels I say something along the lines that “hell no I don’t have a problem as long as you ditch the puny 4″ heels and next time bust out the 6″ inch heels instead”.


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