One of the biggest reasons a man can become disappointed in a relationship, is due to them having unrealistic expectations.
When I was a young buck new to the world of dating and LTRs, I would constantly set myself up to be disappointed. Disappointment eventually led to heartbreak upon heartbreak upon yes, more heartbreak.
One day, a man much older and wiser than me, said something profound that I tossed off at the moment, but revisited after a particularly bad breakup: “Son, you are expecting a woman to complete you, that’s why you keep getting let down”.
Damn. How right he was and how ignorant I was in my youth. Eventually I realized the truth in his words and here’s some wisdom I’d like to share with you about why you might keep getting disappointed with women.
#5. Women Will Never Understand The Pressures Men Face
This isn’t their fault, it’s just reality and how they are wired.
They don’t get that the pressure on a man has increased 100 fold in the last decade or so for a man to be rich, great looking and have everything just right in their life. The reason they don’t understand this, is because they deep down cannot fathom the pressures we undergo.
This post is not to complain, nor is it an outlet against women by any means, instead, it’s just stating relationship facts. Women have different types of pressures, but in 2015, women for the most part are quite sheltered from the harshness of life.
Have a kid? No problem, government will step in and assist with it.
Don’t want to move out of that nice house your parents let you live in? Not an issue, just stay living rent free while you judge your ex boyfriend for not owning a mansion.
Women today are abstained from responsibility.
Again, this is not their fault, it’s just a reflection of how society has ‘evolved’. Whether that’s good or bad, is not for this article, but you’re a smart man and I’m sure you have your own opinion on that.
The point is though, that if you believe that telling a woman about your problems will get her to be attracted to you, or to really be concerned, then you’re living in a fantasy land. Women for the most part cannot relate to your problems so stop divulging to them.
#4. Your Harem Chicks and/or Girlfriend/Wife Is NOT Your Mother; Stop Expecting Unconditional Love
This one was big for me.
I constantly expected my girlfriends from the past to love me unconditionally. Ah no. Not possible and not how women are wired.
A woman can love you and you can get her addicted to you, but to expect her to love you in the same manner your mother does, is delusional of you.
Realize that women love many times with the IDEA of who they think you are, that’s why they can fall in love and out of love so quickly, unless they have invested in you on a much deeper level.
Stop setting yourself for disappointment by expecting that unconditional love and learn to love yourself unconditionally. You’ll be happier, more confident and won’t be co-dependent on your lover.
#3. Don’t Expect One Particular Woman To Push You To Reach Your Goals
This is a massive recipe for disaster.
Mainstream dating gurus will preach that behind every great man is a strong woman, but in reality every great man is great because HE decided to be great. Then he decided he’d like to have one consistent woman in his life, so he wasn’t too distracted chasing ass.
If you base how driven you are by the woman in your life, or the women who are NOT in your life, then good luck. You must make up in YOUR mind that you will be driven and reach your goals even if not one single lady in the world is standing beside you, or even behind you. The moment you make up your mind that no matter what you will achieve greatness by yourself, then that is the precise time that you will attract the right type of women into your life. The irony is, then you’ll be in control of what you want to do, instead of being tossed to and fro by the emotional whims of women.
#2. You Might Actually Believe That Following Her Lead Will Make Her Happy
Ouch. This is classic behavior by beta bitch boys who might not have transformed into the men they can be.
What is the classic line the lovely Baby Boomer generation always says? “Well, whatever the wife wants”, chuckle chuckle. Sure sir, by the way your wife hasn’t seen her ankles in 7 years and you haven’t gotten a blowjob in 12.
You feel deep down that asking, “Well honey, what do YOU want to do?” actually makes her happy and in the long run will make you happy.
You know what it actually does?
It makes her want to vomit, right up there with you doing the dishes and asking for her permission to go bowling with your work buddies once per month, or asking if you can convert your garage for the house you pay the mortgage on into a man-cave.
Women are drastically repelled by this behavior. This doesn’t mean that you have to be a chest-thumping cave-man, but it does mean you should be a leader. Sure, take her opinion into consideration, but be a decision maker, not a hesitant little bitch. Hesitate too long and rest assured she’s in the bathroom swiping right on Tinder and taking extra long lunch breaks with Alpha Adam at work.
#1. You Expect Encouragement/Respect and Admiration From Her For Shit Only Men Give A Rat’s Ass About
Massive one here gentlemen.
We as men are builders.
We build up countries.
We build buildings.
We build companies.
We build powerful governments.
We build up our bodies to be chiseled and powerful.
Overall, we are builders. That is what the fuck we do.
When you expect your girlfriend to really care about that old school car you refurbished, or how you just started benching 275lbs, then you’re going to be disappointed.
The reason why women don’t care about these things, is because it’s not in their nature to care about stuff that in general only interests men.
Does a normal girl care if you can bench 275lbs? No. Is she attracted to your bulging pecs and veins? Of course. She doesn’t care about the PROCESS; she only cares about the RESULTS.
Does a normal girl care that you helped merge two companies this week and got a fat bonus? Probably not. Does she care that due to that bonus, now you’re more secure financially and the two of you might even visit St. Thomas? Of course.
If you need encouragement, a pat on the back, someone to look you in the eye and praise your prowess, then look to your Rat Pack and mentors. Men get it. They will be there for you. This is NOT a knock on women, it’s just how it is, just like you’re not going to sit there and talk to her about her period like she might with her girlfriends, or look on the web with for hours at the latest and greatest purses and shoes.
The problem with society today is that they expect men and women to be interchangeable and for men to get what they need from women the same as they would from real male bonding and friendship. This is an incorrect way of viewing life and leads only to disappointment.
Get realistic with your expectations of what to expect from women. This doesn’t mean you lower your standards, for standards and expectations are two different things.
I can promise you, if you step back and view things for how they REALLY are, then you will live with much more peace in your life and your interactions with women will be much smoother and fulfilling.
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