The Apologist

Paul rifled through some paperwork on his desk skimming over mundane details about a new company merger. He was bored. He looked around his drab office and for the first time realized he has recessed lighting. How nice.

Paul walked to the break room making himself small as co-workers passed by him in the hall.

“I’m sorry” he said as he moved to the side. He sheepishly looks at the ground and continues to the break room.

He opens the refrigerator and spots his brown bag lunch with the Post-It note declaring ‘Paul’s Lunch: Please Don’t Eat It!’ with a magic marker smiley face on it. How witty.

Paul carefully unwraps his sandwich releasing it from the Saran wrap and takes a bite. It’s soggy, but it’ll do.

“Mr. Paul, how ya doing buddy!”, a tall classic alpha male office type dude slaps Paul on the back as he saunters past. Meet Jake.

Jake was the office stud strutting around like the world was his oyster and in a sense it was. Jake posted high numbers and was always the leader in sales. Jake didn’t apologize much. In fact, even if he offended someone (which was a weekly occurrence), he’d chuckle and then charm his way out of it. Paul both admired and resented Jake.

“I’m doing okay”, Paul mumbled.

“Just okay? Come on man it’s Friday and the weekend is about to start!”. Jake’s obvious excitement irritated Paul even more. Of course Jake was excited about the weekend because Jake had a good life full of dates with sexy women that Paul could only dream about even talking to and he also had a solid pack of friends.

Paul muttered something about getting back to work, then slipped out of the break room clutching his brown bag lunch so hard the bag started to rip. As he walked down the hall, he apologized again and made room for a large woman to squeeze by him. Her giant soft ass brushed against Paul and he almost felt concerned that such a woman could excite him, but since he hadn’t gotten laid in almost a year, he justified it.

Paul hurried through his work day intent on getting home and planting himself in front of his computer for the weekend. He had discovered an online chat room where he could be someone else and for Paul, that was liberating.

As he pulled his car out of the company parking garage he narrowly missed hitting another car pulling in, although it was the other driver’s fault.

“Sorry!” he yelled out the window as he punched the gas and pulled out onto the street.

Paul stopped by his local grocer to stock up for the weekend when inspiration hit him.

He spotted a cute girl the next aisle over and after circling the store three times decided he would approach her.

“Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me with something…”

“Sure”. The cute girl wearing glasses, a soft-knit sweater and yoga pants gave Paul a small smile and focused her attention on him.

“Have you ever had this type of pasta?” Paul showed her a box of angel hair pasta fumbling it and dropping the box on the ground.

“I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed his face turning redder than the cans of tomatoes lined up on the shelves staring at him defiantly like soldiers at attention.

“It’s okay” the cute girl said. She actually thought Paul was cute, but his behavior was beginning to strike her as odd.

“I actually have and it’s real good!” she offered her opinion of the noodles and Paul mumbled thanks.

Then Paul gathered his balls and took the plunge.

“You know, how about we hang out sometime?”

She smiled like she already knew then flashed her ring finger. Planted on it was a massive rock.

“Oh” Paul’s crestfallen look almost made the girl shed a tear. Well, not really, but she felt a pang for him.

“I’m sorry, I really am. If would have known you were married I would have never came up to you. Please forgive me”.

Paul hurriedly about faced and almost sprinted for the checkout counter. He paid and headed home cursing himself for being so stupid to approach her.

Paul settled in for the weekend intent on closing out the world, because Paul didn’t value himself.

He felt that everyone else had more value than him, that’s why he was constantly apologizing.

While Paul is an exaggerated fictional character, this type of behavior is becoming ‘normal’ more and more every single day.

I see it constantly. Guys apologizing for shit that doesn’t need an apology. Guys apologizing for being a fucking man.

This generation has succeeded in forcing everyone to apologize for benign bullshit, but the real error is people actually losing frame and begging for forgiveness.

In a PC climate everyone feels as though they have a right to be offended and dammit everyone should apologize for hurting their feelings.

Guys apologizing it appears for merely EXISTING has become COMMON and that’s a grave mistake.

If you live your life feeling like your worth is so low that you have to excuse yourself at every turn to every girl and stranger you come across, then what you’re saying is “I don’t respect myself. At all”.

Be assertive. Have Frame. Be a man.

Not content with fucking 5’s? Then go here.

Read More: The Art of Not Giving A Fuck

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9 Replies to “The Apologist”

  1. I’ve been Paul when pitted against Jake before. Guy at work is a natural Alpha and is a lot like the guy above. Feels like he’s testing me, seeing what are my weaknesses. But I fucking rarely apologize, a simple “my bad” is all is needed

    Like

  2. There was nothing exaggerated about this post at all. I KNOW this guy – I know several of them!

    Like

  3. Reading your work got me to never apologize to girls unless I abosolutely had to.

    Also my posture is getting better in dancing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. For those of you who work in an office, you can watch this happen firsthand. You’ll be shocked – 95% of guys will simply JUMP out of your way as you walk down the hall AND apologize if you just do these 3 things.

    1.) Walk with swagger. Chest out, arms out of your pockets, head held high.
    2.) Make eye contact when appropriate.
    3.) Walk in a straight line, do not jump out of anyone’s way. If they do not move out of the way, simply stop – as tempting as it is, don’t just bowl them over. Make them walk around you. They’ll still apologize.

    Just today I witnessed a 135 pound man who is my neighbor jump out of the way of a 250 pound wildebeest while profusely apologizing. The same guy apologizes to me twice a day for daring to use the same walkway to our offices.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. For those of you who work in an office, you can watch this happen firsthand. You’ll be shocked – 95% of guys will simply JUMP out of your way as you walk down the hall AND apologize if you just do these 3 things.

    1.) Walk with swagger. Chest out, arms out of your pockets, head held high.
    2.) Make eye contact when appropriate.
    3.) Walk in a straight line, do not jump out of anyone’s way. If they do not move out of the way, simply stop – as tempting as it is, don’t just bowl them over. Make them walk around you. They’ll still apologize.

    Just today I witnessed a 135 pound man who is my neighbor jump out of the way of a 250 pound wildebeest while profusely apologizing. The same guy apologizes to me twice a day for daring to use the same walkway to our offices.

    Liked by 1 person

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