“Excuse me?? Ummm no, not interested.” The SoCal blonde put her hand up in my face, gave me a look like I was an alien and turned her back on me.
I let out a deep laugh and approached the next cute girl I had already been eyeing on my approach to the SoCal blonde.
Why was I able to laugh after harsh rejection and ‘recover’ so quickly?
Why did her rejection of me (and hell, we all take rejection personally, because well, it IS personal) not affect my good mood one iota?
Why was I able to continue on like a lion intent on his next ‘meal’ without retaliating with anger?
Because a lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of sheep.
No, I didn’t come up with that popular internet meme quote, but if that isn’t some pure raw truth, I don’t know what is.
You see, if I’m not having fun with game, then why do it?
Is it because as men our sex drives will literally drive us to start wars, that’s how powerful it is?
Or is it because while yes, I truly enjoy a romp in the hay with a sexy girl, I actually enjoy the PROCESS before the actual ACT?
It’s a combination of the two.
I know if I’m cranking out squats, deadlifts and scarfing steaks down all week like a gladiator training for his first arena fight, then yea, my T-levels are off the charts and that urge needs an outlet, however, because I’ve discovered the pure joy of being out, flirting with women, socializing in general, networking and simply enjoying life, then a rejection isn’t going to alter that in the slightest.
Was the SoCal blonde a ‘sheep’? Of course!
Myself being the player, was on the ‘hunt’ and she was a potential ‘meal’. Since she wasn’t about it, then my simple laugh was the equivalent of a lion barely noticing that the shepherd just rolled up with a gun, fired a few shots in the air and gathered his sheep, thus protecting them from slaughter. The lion shrugs, turns and starts hunting elsewhere.
His confidence lies in that he KNOWS he could have made the sheep his ‘meal’, however if the sheep don’t even give him a chance because their shepherd rolled up, then it’s not happening and that’s okay.
His confidence lies in KNOWING that he is superior to the sheep.
His confidence lies in his KNOWLEDGE that he has had many sheep as meals before and will have many more sheep in the future.
He is not defined by ONE meal, or lack thereof. In player terms, a player is not defined as a player because he rolled out solo and had sex with ONE girl in his life. He gains a player status by repeating that until he can do it without even thinking about it and has a proven method for generally pulling the same night.
I didn’t trip on the SoCal blonde for a few reasons:
- It’s a waste of energy to devote your time to people whose minds are already made up. Much in the same way I deal with my haters (by ignoring them and continuing to crush life), because to engage is to focus my energy on the wrong things, thus taking my energy away from my purpose and goal. In that case, to get laid.
- My time is valuable. The older you get the quicker you realize that time is flying the fuck by faster than ever and I’m not in the business of trying to warm her up for 15 minutes. She’s either about it, or not and if not, then adios darling, I’m on to the next one.
- I knew I was superior to her, so it’s HER loss; not mine. If she doesn’t recognize a high value male from the jump, then why should I waste my time on her?
- I’m a bigger fan of brunettes, so there you go. 😉
One of the biggest statements I see newbies to game make is, “It’s work!” (with a dejected look on their face) and in a sense, they are right, that you have to put out actual EFFORT in order to learn this craft (and it is a craft), but they’re wrong in that they constantly feel DREAD when prepping to go out and when actually out flirting with girls.
Here’s why: they are putting too much pressure on themselves.
The dread and sense of work one might feel when out gaming girls is due to undue pressure one puts on themselves to PERFORM.
“If I don’t get laid tonight I’m a loser”
“See, NO girls like you!”
“You’re ugly and that’s why the entire two girls you’ve approached have rejected you”
“If you don’t pull tonight, then clearly game doesn’t work…”
Have you ever had a thought like that cross your mind? You might have even verbalized it to a friend of yours.
And you know what?
I’ve been there.
When I first started hitting nightlife HARD and putting myself out there SOLO weekend after weekend trying to crack the code (I knew there had to be one!), I would get furious at rejection.
I remember one time I was out, ran into a buddy of mine (a hulking natural) and he swooped a bad chick and I had nothing. We were chilling for a moment by his car in a parking lot after the clubs closed and I smoked a cig a few feet away while he was making out with the girl standing by his car.
I felt like a fool.
I knew I wasn’t an idiot. I knew that I had some game, but why in the fuck was he going home with a girl and I was going to drive home alone? Again, for the umpteenth time.
I can remember this moment like it was last night. Vivid. I can almost feel the shame I felt for NOT pulling a girl.
THAT’S how concentrated I was on learning game. That’s how much PRESSURE I was putting on myself to be successful.
I drove to my apartment swearing as though anyone could give a fuck.
I walked into my apartment, grabbed a pillow from my bed and repeatedly punched it over and over and over.
I must have punched it for about 3-5 minutes straight letting out every ounce of my frustration on the pillow. I would have punched the wall, but I already had dented the plaster the weekend before. Oops.
Yea, I was putting that much pressure on myself.
Fast forward just a few weeks later and I met my game mentor who showed me the biggest and most important quality about game that he ever taught me and I’m about to share with you.
He taught me about having FUN and to RELAX.
Pretty groundbreaking, right? Well, not on the surface, but it’s easy for guys new to the game (and even us older experienced cats) to FORGET to have fun when out.
The girls are there. They’re not going anywhere.
A month from now there’ll still be girls out. In a year there will be new girls out. So relax for a moment and understand that a rejection (or 10 in one night!) doesn’t mean jackshit in the scope of your LIFE and game ‘career’.
You will get rejected.
I will most definitely get rejected again in my life.
That is a part of game and most definitely a part of life. It happens, so take a deep breath.
Know that you have value and that you will crack this code (hint: the academy can help big time), but you’re not going to put undue pressure on yourself to PERFORM.
If you start to roll out with the overall objective of ENJOYING LIFE, socializing IN GENERAL, networking, having fun with your ENVIRONMENT, and COMBINE that with fun approaches, then your vibe will become more ATTRACTIVE to girls.
Girls are amazing at their ability to sense a guy who’s putting undue pressure on himself. And guess what?
It repels them like a motherfucker. They hate it. They want to run from it.
If you can realize that you’re a ‘lion’, these chicks are just ‘sheep’, the night is your night to roam the ‘plains’, be a boss and yes, get a ‘meal’ at some point, then game will be less work for you and your success rate will increase.
Pro-Tip: that doesn’t mean that you roll out like most of the schmucks I see in the club just having ‘fun’ aka getting obliterated with their 10 best friends and ignoring the girls, but instead you incorporate the girls into YOUR night, instead of making the girls THE night.
Pro-Tip 2: Get creative! You can have a ton of fun out, but that doesn’t mean standing against a wall in the lounged staring at your phone.
A friend of mine (and great player) does this thing where he’ll roll out with a small box of TOOTHPASTE, you know the mini travel size ones? He’ll hand them out to the staff at restaurants and bars he has On-Lock just as a unique way of showing he cares and you know what? The staff (including the sexy bartenders) LOVE IT!
Now imagine your night starts off with your rolling into your favorite lounge with this small box of travel toothpaste and you start handing them out in a cool and nonchalant manner…what do you think will happen?
The staff (some of the kitchen help tend to be on the downside of fortune in these restaurants) light up with big smiles that someone gave them SOMETHING and the ENTERTAINMENT factor from just having fun, giving and seeing how you made someone’s night is a great start to the night.
You think my buddy would let a rejection ruin his night after that? Hell no. Because his state is on a different level. Why? Because he’s a ‘lion’.
Now am I saying to go hand out mini-toothpastes at the club? No. My buddy is a dentist so it’s CONGRUENT with what he does and makes sense.
But what can you do that’s unique? How can you start making other people’s night so you start your night off great? We all have unique qualities, strengths and talents and I’m sure you’ll think of something that works for YOU.
This is a great way to learn to have FUN, spread some motherfucking joy and help you get to the point where rejection doesn’t mean a damn thing to you; it’s merely a tiny blip on your radar.
Here’s to you being a ‘lion’ this weekend. You’re going to crush it.
Check back Monday morning for a killer lifestyle post and something I’ve been wanting to share for a few years (yea, before I ever wrote one word about game, or even thought about having a blog).
Start cracking the code to getting laid and enjoying life.
P.S. There’s a FREE 7 minute NEW video on the BEST way to get a girl’s number and how to deal with her rejecting you (if she does)! Just click the AMIDA logo below and scroll to the half-way point of the page and you can instantly watch it right on the page (no email needed). Cheers.
Read More: Weekend Game Tip: “She Needs To Get Fucked”