I get this question, oh maybe around fifty times per month through email, so I’m going to answer it in this post since it’s clearly a common question.
There’s a million opinions on this, but the only one that matters is mine, because I’m right.
I’m going to get one thing out of the way right off the bat:
If you cannot afford to order a round of drinks and pay for it without freaking out about paying your rent or school loans, then you don’t need to be going on traditional dates.
Now that I’ve offended some readers, I’ll offer a solution.
The term “Netflix and Chill” should be your solution if you’re struggling financially. There’s nothing wrong with it and plenty of girls will be down. Doesn’t cost you more than $7.99/month (Netflix subscription) so there’s no excuse.
The old school thought process from the PUAs was that paying for a date was ‘beta’ and would put you in the chump category.
They were partially right.
And they were partially wrong.
It is beta if you’re purely using your RESOURCES to impress her aka 99% of the guys in the lounge.
It’s not beta if you are doing it because it is a part of YOUR LIFESTYLE.
If you traditionally go out, get some sushi and sake and dip to a party, lounge, or club, then that is CONGRUENT with who you are.
When you set up a date with a girl, the best way is to invite her along.
In other words, you make plans and she can come join you or not, but her flaking doesn’t affect your plans.
You are a man with a plan and a man with a plan is a man in demand.
Alright, enough rhyming.
The most common ‘line’ to use when ordering the first round of drinks is this one:
“I got the first round”
This signifies that she will pay for the next round and it works…but let’s step it up to Next Level Game shall we?
What I do and it works wonders is this:
I order the drinks, bonus points if you guess a drink she’ll like. You’re not doing this to impress her, but rather to see how she reacts to you LEADING her. This is a ‘shit test’ on your part. Yes, men can and should shit test women.
“I’ll take a vodka-tonic double in a short glass with two limes and the lady will have a ‘fill in the blank'”
Pro-Tip: with experience you’ll be able to guess which girl likes what, but here’s a real easy one for you playboys:
ALL women who are even remotely attractive like a glass of champagne.
If she doesn’t like champagne then she has zero class. Same goes for chicas who order beer. I instantly cross them out in my mind. This isn’t a BBQ darling.
If she asks why you ordered champagne for her, then follow-up with this:
You: “We’re celebrating”
Her: “What are we celebrating?”
You: “You finally meeting a real man” (wink)
Her: “Oh really?” (laughing/possible arm ‘punch’, but in a pleasantly surprised way because she’s shocked you have balls because most men act like pathetic pussies nowadays)
You: change subject
Drinks rest on the bar…empty.
Here’s where the REAL test comes in:
Does she OFFER to buy the next round?
If she doesn’t, then there could be multiple reasons why (assuming the two of you are having a jolly good time).
- She’s broke. Just because a girl has a YSL purse doesn’t mean she has money.
- She’s very traditional and automatically defers to male/female conservative roles. (less likely in 2015)
- She’s shit testing YOU to see if you’ll instantly order another round
- She’s drunk already. (it can happen with a 105lb girl and a strong pour from your bartender you have On-Lock)
But, let’s say she OFFERS to buy the next round…
You can do one of two things:
- Let her buy a round
- Say “I got it, but congrats, you passed your first test”, throw in a smirk and toss a C-note on the bar for the next round.
The second option shows her that you know what’s up in the male/female dating dance and that you’re NOT a schmuck who will just pay and pay for no reason other than to impress.
But let’s step it up another notch…
A Next Level Game move you can do this:
Drinks are empty. You don’t offer to buy another drink. SHE offers to buy the next round. Let her. After she does, pull her in for a quick, but firm kiss. Toast your drinks.
What you’ve done here is reward her good behavior.
Note: you’re not doing this in an eager beaver manner like you’re just so excited she bought you a drink, but in a cool, calm and collected boss way.
Personally, I buy the drinks.
That’s how I roll and I will know within ONE drink if I want to continue spending time with her that night or not.
After that one drink if she’s sweet, good company and the vibes are right, then cool, if she wants to buy a round, sure darling go ahead, but it’s not a make or break it situation for me. I’m not marrying the girl, so if she’s too cheap to pick up a round, but in an hour or two will be fire in bed, then cool, I’m not tripping, however, I’ll use that test as a gauge to where I categorize her.
Category 1: She offers to buy a round puts in her in the potential keep-around-past-one-night slot, because it shows she’s a giver as well. This is key for the possibility of converting her one day.
Category 2: She doesn’t offer to buy a round, so she gets put in the good-time-for-a-night slot. I would never consider anything more with on her on a more ‘serious’ level.
I’ll be brutally honest here too which NO dating ‘guru’s want to say, but it’s true:
If you plan on dating 9’s and dimes then you better be willing to buy a round at the least, if not pick up the entire check. Does that mean you’re ‘buying’ their time?
It means chicks like that are used to multi-millionaire CEOs, famous athletes, movie stars and playboys. You think Lebron James is going back and forth about buying her a $12 drink? Get it straight. It’s not happening.
Additionally, I’ve yet to meet a FIRE chick who is a feminist in her thinking. They KNOW the power of their beauty and they prefer more traditional roles aka she dresses up and is sweet on the date and you buy the drinks.
Don’t believe me? Why is it the majority of Victoria Secret models are married with kids and prefer traditional roles?
Chrissy Teigen (a Sports Illustrated cover girl) is a good example of this. Hot, loves her man aka John Legend and cooks up a storm for him.
If you want to play in the ‘big leagues’, then step up your hustle so picking up a round doesn’t matter to you financially. If it does NOW, then reassess if you should really be going on that date and perhaps the right formula for you right now is a simple Netflix and Chill.
Cheers to the weekend, be safe, have fun, be productive and I’ll have a brand new post Monday morning.
Where are you headed this weekend?