Today’s post is a guest post from Dave Perrotta from PostGradCasanova.com. I was a guest on his and his buddy’s show The Beastly Gentlemen (available on iTunes) some time back, as well as being a guest on a new episode dropping in the new year. They’ve interviewed everyone from famed blogger James Altucher to John Doe Bodybuilding. You can find out more about Dave and his travels (he recently was in Colombia smashing some sexy chicas) at his site, PostGradCasanova.com
How do your dates usually go?
If you’re not having the sex or relationships you want, there’s a reason for it…
You might be annoying women…
You see, we don’t realize A LOT of the annoying things we do that can turn women off. I wish somebody slapped me in the face and told me only the annoying shit I did from the beginning.
Bragging, trying to impress, being indecisive… I did it all.
But if you can recognize these behaviors and stop them, you can make women crave you, instead of being another annoying guy she forgets about.
So, here are 5 annoying things you do that turn women off…
1. Being Indecisive
Women love a man who leads, knows what he wants, and goes for it. That’s why they’re so disappointed when you are indecisive. And it happens in all levels of dating. For example:
-Always asking which bar/restaurant she wants to go to instead of choosing one and setting the plan
-Trying to be the over-accommodating nice guy and asking questions like “Is that too far? Will you be able to commute there?”
-Hesitating when you should be leading the date forward (changing venues, taking her home, etc.)
That shit doesn’t cut it, man. Being wishy-washy will get you nowhere.
You need to be decisive in all aspects of dating, and always take initiative.
When setting up a date, you should be setting the time, place, and activity, and if she has any objections, she’ll let you know. When it comes time to lead, you should move forward, unapologetically.
Have you ever talked to someone who constantly tries to impress you? They go on and on about “cool shit” they’ve done – like sleep with a bunch of girls, travel the world, make money, etc.
It gets annoying, right? Women feel the same way…
When you brag, you signal that you need her validation – that you need to prove you are worthy of her. You also lay out “stats”, instead of highlighting qualities.
(Stats like: I have a nice car/I’ve traveled to 50 countries/I run a successful business, etc. )
But women connect with emotions, not stats.
So, when you’re talking about yourself, focus on highlighting qualities instead of stats.
For example, let’s say you’d like her to think you’re an adventurous guy. When she asks you what you like to do for fun, you can tell her something like, “I love to travel. There’s something about walking down a street in a foreign country, looking around, and taking it all in. I love the ridiculousness of it all – and seeing with my own two eyes that the world isn’t as scary as people would have you believe.”
Notice how that’s different from saying, “Well, I travel a lot. I’ve been to 12 different countries.”
Remember: Qualities over stats. Emotions over facts.
3. Getting Married to One Conversation Topic
You know that feeling when you’re done talking about something, but your conversation counterpart keeps bringing it back up? It’s like bro, I know you like working out, but I don’t want to talk about the nuances of deadlifts for three hours.
Every conversation topic has lifespan, and if you try to milk the topic past its lifespan, you’ll annoy people – and turn women off.
You see, a rich conversation weaves through multiple topics.
It’s okay to change the subject, even if you haven’t said everything you feel like you need to say about a topic.
But when you get married to a conversation topic, it signals to women that you have low social intelligence.
If you feel like you want to keep coming back to a “dead” topic, stop yourself, and ask a good question to push the conversation forward (like, “What are you passionate about?”).
Have you ever been afraid to show a girl you were attracted to her? Like it’s going to expose some big secret and she’s going to laugh at you?
Surprisingly, many guys actually feel this way.
It usually stems from feeling like you don’t deserve her on a deep level (i.e. “I’m not good enough”).
But here’s the thing…
Women like to feel attractive and appreciated.
They love when a confident guy asks them questions with genuine interest, or looks them in the eyes like he wants to fuck the shit out of them.
(To add to this, there’s also a mirroring effect that comes into play. She’s more likely to feel what you feel. If you’ve ever been so excited to talk or approach a girl that you couldn’t hide it, you may have seen this effect in action.)
So, when you refrain from showing interest, you make her feel unattractive – and she’s certainly not going to be turned from a platonic, uninterested guy.
Stop trying to hide the fact that you like her. Allow yourself to feel the excitement and sexuality a man is supposed to feel when he wants a woman.
5. Not Making a Move
Again, women like to feel attractive. They also enjoy having sex and hooking up.
With this in mind, what are you thinking when you’re sitting beside her and you want to make a move?
For a lot of guys, it’s something like, “Does she like me? What if I try to kiss her and she rejects me?”
(Note: if there is doubt in your mind, the girl will sense it)
But there is nothing that will disappoint her more than NOT making a move when she wants you to…
Why? Remember: women love men who GO for what they want. And by not making a move (when you both know you want to), you show her that you aren’t that kind of man.
Aside from telling you to stop doubting yourself and start making the move whenever you want to – I’ll give you this advice…
Try to remove the risk of “making a move” in your head.
The best-case scenario is you kiss her and it potentially leads to sex. The worst case scenario is she denies your “move” – but she now knows you’re the type of sexual guy who goes for what he wants. It’s really a win-win situation.
Just make sure to never apologize for making a move – because that is the same as apologizing for being a man.
You need to be honest with yourself about your behavior, and check your ego at the door.
There are probably at least a few things you do that annoy women and turn them off. And there’s a good chance that some of those things are on this list.
When women told me some of these things about myself, my first reaction was to get defensive. But then I realized that was stupid and definitely wasn’t getting me laid. So instead, I looked at the behaviors objectively, recognized I did them, and made a conscious effort to adjust. My dating life has dramatically improved as a result.
I hope you can do the same.
Read More: 5 Things Men Should Never Look For In Women