An Exclusive Guide To Damaged Women (ignore at your own risk)

Red Flags of Damaged Women (4)

You stare at the floor wishing it would open up and you could disappear into a dark abyss.

A pain-free abyss. An abyss without feeling. An abyss without her.

Feelings? Why can’t I shut this pain off? What on God’s green earth did I do to deserve this wretched sharp pain in my heart?

The ground, of course, doesn’t open up. Your phone doesn’t magically ring or beep with an unoriginal sound that the genius at everything but creating cell phone noises at Apple created. Nothing.

Nothing can be the worse sound when your heart is beating through your chest and you feel so much that you wish you were a paraplegic just so you couldn’t feel anything.

You drag yourself out of the stupor, maybe reach for a bottle of pain reducer aka alcohol and take a swig.

Dammit, the liquid just made the feelings more intense and you play back every single moment you had with her.

You pull out a piece of paper and jot down ways to get her back:

Elaborate gift? Check.

A page long text confessing your damn feelings. No, you already sent that…twice.

Maybe, just maybe you could get in your car, or on a plane and just show up at her front door pleading for her to change her mind. Hell, it works in the movies. Wouldn’t it work in real life?

No, these ideas suck you surmise.

We’ve ALL been there and if you haven’t, I truly pray you don’t, but for most of us we’ve experienced the devastating effects of dealing with a tragic breakup.

It could be you were married and discovered your oh so loving wife has been fucking random guys off of Tinder. You only discovered it because you got up early to write her a love note one morning and lo and behold her phone lit up with a Tinder notification from Larry.

Fucking Larry? Really? She always said she HATED bald guys…

Or maybe she just up and vanished one day. It happens. It happened to me.

Or maybe, she chose a more ‘classic’ breakup choice of the growing distant, complaining that you just weren’t there for her anymore and before you knew it every reason that you forsook your other life gets throw in your face even if you made those choices for her.

This post isn’t for us to have a collective woe is me pity party. Instead, it’s to serve as a guidepost for those of you to AVOID the mistakes myself and many much greater men have made.

We made the mistakes, but you don’t have to.

We got tangled up with the wrong girls, but you can avoid the sirens.

The call is strong, but being the best man you can be means taking advice from those who are telling you there’s a cliff ahead and if you only take my advice you can avoid your heart plunging into a sure and speedy ‘death’.

Over here at the ‘offices’ of this blog (i.e. the beach, a plane, or at my desk) I like to provide extreme value to you the reader, but this article takes the cake.

This isn’t really an article. It’s more like an mini-ebook due to the length (11,000+ words). So, if you’re in a rush, bookmark it and come back to it later because it’s a lengthy, albeit incredible read that is sure to help a struggling man out there.

Let’s get started…

A while back I wrote this article about my traumatic experience with a BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) ex-girlfriend of mine. If you haven’t read it, then do so here.

I received more emails than I can count about men who had similar experiences and men who were worried that their current chick could be cut from the same cloth. My intention with this guide is to provide a framework of sorts for men around the world who read this blog to use as a reference point for when they date girls.

At the most this guide will save your life.

At the least this guide will help you avoid wasting your time, money and energy on a damaged woman.

Either way it’s yours to print out, pass around to your friends and share with a fellow brother in his time of need.

It might just save your life. It might just save his.

There are six parts to this post, all posted below. Instead of breaking this up into six separate posts, it’s best to make one monster post that’s easier to reference.

  • Part 1: The Enticement
  • Part 2: The Red Flags
  • Part 3: The Manipulation
  • Part 4: The Male Hamster
  • Part 5: The Exodus
  • Part 6: The Hope

 

Part 1: The Enticement

It’s no secret that generally the more emotionally damaged a woman is the more enticing she is. She knows exactly how to look at you, how to touch you and how to engage with you on a conversational level that entices you to taste of the forbidden fruit.

Setting her hooks is her trademark.

Spinning your life out of control is her exodus.

It can start with a look on the subway, a brush of her hand against yours at your local Trader Joe’s as you reach for a cucumber, or a polite and perky “Excuse me, how many sets do you have left?” as you sling iron at your gym.

Regardless of HOW you meet her, I can guarantee that for once in your life you feel that ‘special’ something with her.

You might think she’s your soul mate (see Rollo Tomassi’s post here), or even as something as light as you thinking ‘hell, this is a really cool unique girl unlike ANY of the other club sluts I’ve been banging’. Now note, with that single fleeting thought you’ve already started to build a bridge to the disaster that putting pussy on a pedestal leads to.

The lure of these sirens is that they know exactly how to make you feel like a man.

Until they wreck your life. Then she knows exactly how to make you feel like nothing.

This isn’t the rule, but it’s more common that not, that the truly crazy ones tend to be on the upside of beauty. This does NOT mean that every gorgeous girl is batshit burn your bunny crazy, but it does mean that when a girl is extraordinarily beautiful and charismatic, then pay close attention. More on that later, but for now, before I dive more into the enticement factor, I’ll share with you the clinical definitions for crazy bitches.

Bipolar Disorder

Source

Medical Definition:

Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). When you become depressed, you may feel sad or hopeless and lose interest or pleasure in most activities. When your mood shifts in the other direction, you may feel euphoric and full of energy. Mood shifts may occur only a few times a year or as often as several times a week.

Although bipolar disorder is a disruptive, long-term condition, you can keep your moods in check by following a treatment plan. In most cases, bipolar disorder can be controlled with medications and psychological counseling (psychotherapy).

My Definition:

That chick that is happy one minute and crying the next for no damn reason? See if it’s a habit. Does she get dark for no reason? Does she sit in the corner of the room depressed? That’s probably more than just a typical girl’s mood and period swings.

In short: if she’s acting like she’s on her period 30 days out of the month, then not all is as it seems.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Source

Medical Definition:

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable intense relationships, distorted self-image, extreme emotions and impulsiveness.

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.

If you have borderline personality disorder, don’t get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better over time with treatment and can learn to live satisfying lives.

My Definition:

The worst of the disorders in my opinion as well as many professionals of who some won’t even give treatment to them due to their erratic nature. Without being a complete dick the medical definition about it getting better with age is fucking retarded, unless you love the idea of having a batshit crazy girl driving you nuts during her prime and then leveling out once she hit’s the wall. Even if she does level out (there are varying results with studies of this), you’ll probably go nuts trying to keep her somewhat manageable.

Source: “In the United States, recent research has shown that 1.6% of the population has BPD. That number may seem small, but when you consider just how large the United States is, you may realize that 1.6% represents quite a large number of people. That percentage means that over four million people have BPD in America alone. Whole BPD is not as well-known as other disorders, it is actually more common that illnesses like schizophrenia.”

Here’s another thought: there are plenty of women who have NEVER been diagnosed. 1.6% of people period doesn’t seem like much, but as the excerpt mentions, you’re talking about plenty who do in regards to the USA.

In short: it stems from childhood issues that are NOT your problem. That’s unfortunate that some women have this and it’s terrible what’s happened to them, however, it’s NOT your problem to play Captain-Save-A-Ho. I know someone close to me who’s tried this for a few years and he’s been miserable non-stop. It’s not worth it. If she displays the red flags I’ll share with you in a bit, then don’t walk; run like Usain Bolt at the Olympics.

Bolt running for his life from a BPD chick. Note his facial expression. This bitch is crazyyyy!

If you're going through hell, keep going. (7)

Histrionic Disorder

Source

Medical Definition:

Histrionic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of attention seeking behavior and extreme emotionality. Someone with histrionic personality disorder wants to be the center of attention in any group of people, and feel uncomfortable when they are not. While often lively, interesting and sometimes dramatic, they have difficulty when people aren’t focused exclusively on them. People with this disorder may be perceived as being shallow, and may engage in sexually seductive or provocative behavior to draw attention to themselves.

Individuals with Histrionic Personality Disorder may have difficulty achieving emotional intimacy in romantic or sexual relationships. Without being aware of it, they often act out a role (e.g., “victim” or “princess”) in their relationships to others. They may seek to control their partner through emotional manipulation or seductiveness on one level, whereas displaying a marked dependency on them at another level.

Individuals with this disorder often have impaired relationships with same-sex friends because their sexually provocative interpersonal style may seem a threat to their friends’ relationships. These individuals may also alienate friends with demands for constant attention. They often become depressed and upset when they are not the center of attention.

People with histrionic personality disorder may crave novelty, stimulation, and excitement and have a tendency to become bored with their usual routine. These individuals are often intolerant of, or frustrated by, situations that involve delayed gratification, and their actions are often directed at obtaining immediate satisfaction. Although they often initiate a job or project with great enthusiasm, their interest may lag quickly.

Longer-term relationships may be neglected to make way for the excitement of new relationships.

My Definition:

Histrionic Disorder is more difficult to get a read on because of why?

Drumroll….

Because most chicks act like this! Ha, but it’s true.

The BEST way to get a read on a chick is to see if her behavior is CONSISTENTLY like the behavior mentioned above. If she’s constantly having issues with the following, then she might just be histrionic:

  • Shuts herself off from connecting with you besides physically (over time)
  • Hyper controlling of you, where you’re at and what you’re doing
  • Lack of girlfriends. This is a big one.
  • Constantly living life on the edge
  • Pushing the boundaries consistently with you (not to be confused with shit tests which are normal)

Now, back to enticement…

The numero uno way that she will entice you is sexually.

The sex with a crazy girl just absolutely destroys sex with a normal girl. This can stem from a variety of reasons, but one is from their extensive promiscuous behavior.

In other words, she’s sucked so many dicks and rode so many cocks, she knows how to do it extremely well.

There’s also a mental aspect to this. She’s connecting with you on a different level, thus causing the sex to be hotter than any other sex you’ve had.

Combine that with her probably being on a different level looks wise than any girl you’ve been with and boom, all of sudden the sex almost turns into a spiritual experience.

I remember this one particularly passionate time having sex with a certified crazy chick and we took turns consensually choking each other while cumming. Add to that the crazy girl factor and the ‘high’ from the lack of oxygen to our brains while cumming and you can only imagine how powerful it was. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it (see Dave Carridine), however, the point is, odds are you won’t experience this type of powerful, oh my God I can’t believe the sex is this intense, I’d marry her in a minute even AFTER you cum type sex with a normal girl.

I didn’t come up with the fact that crazy chicks are crazy in bed. Ask your Uncle Albert, he’ll tell you.

One of my first experiences with crazy girls was this chick who gave head so well, I wouldn’t just cum once, but multiple times. I’m talking separate loads and actual orgasms. I’ll put it this way: it’s no different then a chick who gets addicted to an alpha playboy who pipes her so well she feels she’s dreaming. She’s in essence, ruined after that. When she goes to have sex with Boring Beta Bitch Boy it just won’t be the same. It can’t. You’re pushing buttons with her she didn’t know existed.

Same with us.

A crazy girl’s enticement is her sexuality that pushes our buttons like a player pushes an innocent girl’s buttons.

We get hooked. Addicted. Craving it like a heroin addict craves their drug of choice.

She becomes your heroin and like drugs, many find it is fun…for a time. Then the withdrawals get worse and you’ll find you will do anything and everything to get your fix again.

Sound familiar?

The worse part about her using her sexuality as the enticement is that it’s very hard to realize the type of girl she is BEFORE you get addicted to the sex with her.

Joe meets a sexy girl out and once Joe’s had a few too many drinks his dick won’t get hard. Not even a chub.

He meets Michelle, a stunning girl by the coat check of the club he frequents. She’s instantly all over him and he can hardly believe his ‘luck’. Sure, Joe has game, but is he THAT good? I mean damn, Lebron James is just a few feet away and she’s given him nary a look.

She’s focused on Joe.

She agrees quickly to leave with Joe and they head to his apartment. As soon as they enter his shabby apartment she starts complimenting his furniture like he has a Mondital sofa imported direct from Italy. It’s not. It’s from Ikea.

Michelle whips off her shirt revealing a set of sweater puppies only a board certified surgeon from Beverly Hills could have created, unzips his fly in one motion and proceeds to suck his cock with the fervor of Sasha Grey with guy #10 of 32 in a warehouse porn shoot.

The shocking part is, his dick gets hard. How the hell is this happening he wonders, but no matter he has to start fucking her quick or he’s going to shoot a load in her face like dumping a giant jar of Mayo dressing in her face. She’s THAT good.

The sex is crazy. It’s intense. She talks dirty to him, not just in a crass porn-star manner, but in an intimate fashion. In his 26 years he’s NEVER been able to get hard after 10 drinks and tonight he’s had 15.

BOOM.

The hook is set.

Compare that to his latest Tinder fling with a flabby 6 and this dreamboat could be his! Little does he know it’s about to turn from a dreamboat into the Titanic in a New York minute.

She cleans up and returns to his bed laying her head on his chest. She starts to talk about nonsensical things that really don’t make much sense, but Joe’s ball sack is drained and he feels great.

What guy wouldn’t?

He has for all intents and purposes a solid 9 (or 10 in 99% of men’s books) laying her head on his chest talking about them going on a trip together.

A trip together? Joe remembers this article and realizes that is one motherfucking big red flag and it’s only the first night meeting her…


 

Part 2: The Red Flags

The red flags is perhaps the most important part of this extensive post. I don’t like to play favorites with my writing because it’s all part of the larger piece and thus each portion has a significant role, however, the red flags are your Highway Signs. These are the motherfuckers that will alert you “DANGER AHEAD DUMMY!” and if you heed them will help you avoid unneeded pain and suffering.

Red flags are of particular importance to me because looking back at the crazy BPD chick I went through hell with, it could have been avoided within the first WEEK, if I had just listened to my gut.

Maybe your gut isn’t finely tuned. Maybe you find it easy to get swept up quick with a chick (I used to), or whatever it is, but learning these red flags and using this post as a reference will serve you well in the days and years to come.

The crazy chicks are out to get you! Ha, but really they are.

I’m kicking off this section with a bulletin style list of red flags and then will cover some of them using stories from my experiences so you can see them in a context that’s easily understandable. I don’t want there to be any confusion after you read this. If however, you have a particular question, or comment, then leave a comment on this post and I will respond.

The Red Flags Checklist

  • Glazed eyes stares into space (see story below)
  • Extreme statements (see story below)
  • Extreme anger (see story below)
  • Massive mood swings from very happy to very sad within mere minutes, or even seconds
  • Prescription bottles in her purse and/or medicine cabinet that makes Walgreens look like their shelves are bare
  • Has a bad story about everyone in her life and loves to tell you. Her ex boyfriend, her brother, her step-dad, etc. (see story below)
  • Has few to NO girlfriends beyond the superficial level
  • Acts spiteful in nature to simple and/or low-income people (you won’t see this under a medical symptoms site, but who wants to be with a rudeass bitch anyway? Avoid, or when you go through a rough time she’ll kick you to the curb. Remember, she doesn’t deserve to ride in the Bentley with you if she won’t ride on the bus with you)
  • Was sexually abused as a child
  • ALL of her exes were ‘abusive’ and ‘jerks’ (see story below)
  • Extremely promiscuous (harder to tell with the current Tinder Ho Generation, but connect the dots)
  • Asks to act out ‘rape’ fantasies sexually with you
  • Randomly starts crying after sex (BIG one, watch the fuck out. I’m not referring to virgins either)
  • Extreme tattoos (one or two, okay that’s fine, but the more ink a chick has the more kink she’s done)
  • Constant turmoil in her life (can’t hold a job down, always ‘something’ or ‘somebody’ is out to get her)
  • Bad or non-existent relationship with her father
  • Adopted (I know this one is touchy and it’s not a deal-breaker, but it IS something to be aware of)
  • Too close of a relationship with her brother(s)
  • Bisexual (note if she’s just curious in passing manner, or aggressively tries to pick up girls with or without you)
  • Compulsive Cop Callers (if the local cops KNOW her because she calls them about any little thing, that is one crazy as fuck chick)
  • She has a vagina (KIDDING, couldn’t resist!)

This is not an all-encompassing list, but it’s most of them and the main ones that I have seen. If a chick has a few of these, then you can start to put the puzzle together and realize it’s a picture of Freddy Krueger about to stab you. Feel free to add yours in the comments and I’ll add them to this list and give you credit for your respective additions to it.

Glazed Eyes Stares Into Space + Extreme Statements Story

I glanced over while taking a puff of my cigarette. Where the fuck is she looking and what is she looking at…her eyes had a glazed look as she sat on my balcony staring somewhere at something.

“I’d leave him you know” she muttered softly. “Leave who?”

“My baby. You know Johnny”.

This bitch just said she’d leave her three-year old son?

My gut sent a sharp signal to me, but I brushed it off like an ignorant and horny sonofabitch.

“Well…why would you leave your baby?”

“Because of you…” she said as her eyes started to mist up and she stared into mine.

The red flag ‘Amber’ alerts were going crazy flashing before my eyes at the audacity of what this chick had just said. She’d LEAVE her kid for me. Who the fuck does that? My thoughts started racing, but then she leaned in and kissed me. Damn, there went the rational thoughts and logical thinking.

Moral of the Story: when a chick starts staring into space with glazed eyes (sober), or if she says shit that no women in her right mind would think, much less say, or if she does both at the same damn time, then my friend, that is a HUGE red flag and you need to get away from her forever. Don’t walk. Don’t jog. Run.

Extreme Anger Story

“Motherfucker come back I’ll fucking kill you!!!”

My chick started to run after the speeding white Bronco (no it wasn’t OJ) as he screeched out of the gas station parking lot. The poor dude had made the fatal mistake of not leaving the pump quick enough for her liking as we pulled up behind him to fill up.

That’s it. He didn’t hit our car and then drive off. He merely didn’t move quick enough. Her reaction wasn’t just an overreaction, it was borderline homicidal and fucking ridiculous. What took me back was how quick she flipped back to ‘normal’ as though nothing happened. That should have been even more of a sign then her Run n’ Rant she just pulled.

Moral of the Story: listen, everyone gets mad. That’s life. But HOW you deal with your anger tells a lot about the person. Do you really want to date a girl who could go off like that? What happens when that anger is directed at YOU? If a chick snaps into angry fits that are extreme in nature, then avoid like the plague. Life is too short to be around angry crazy bitches, or even constantly angry male friends. Drop em.

Has A Bad Story About Everyone In Her Life Story

“Oh my ex boyfriend was a COMPLETE psycho. He tried to kill me once, so I called the cops. And yea, he had a super TINY dick” she rattled off his negative flaws like an auctioneer while I tried to wrap my head around it.

Do people talk shit about their exes generally? Well, yea.

Was he probably an abusive ex? Well, he MUST be since she’s saying it’s so.

What does his dick have to do with it? Well alot, when you’re with a size queen.

This one particular girl had a bad story about every single person in her life. From her pastor (yes, she actually attended church), to her brother, to her step-dad, to the next-door neighbor, to her fucking mailman; everyone had done her wrong, hell even the guy who bought her a house.

Moral of the Story: people do talk shit about people they feel have wronged them (whether it’s true or not. Sometimes it’s just a misunderstanding or miscommunication), however, look for a PATTERN: it is literally EVERYONE. Is it extreme in nature? Do the stories seem concocted from the mind of a 5th grader? Weigh the stories. Look for the patterns.

And yes, once you dump her she’ll be telling everyone about how mean you were to her.

Lastly, they often will tell stories that THEY did to their exes, but flip em so it makes them out to be the victim.

More about Red Flags…

The key to measuring a girl’s propensity for being crazy with these red flags is to see if she has MULTIPLE red flags and specifically flaws that are irrational. Here’s what I mean.

If she’s adopted, sometimes gets a bit angry and sucks dick like a pro, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s crazy.

She could have an Irish temper (even if she was raised in Wyoming), had one ex who’s dick she sucked every single day for two years and happened to be adopted because her birth mother was a cunt and didn’t want her.

Let’s say she’s adopted, she lashes out in anger irrationally, sucks dick like a parking lot pro and is on Lithium, then vacate immediately.

See the difference?

One could just be personality and temperament flaws. The other example is evidence of something that’s off about her, i.e. being prescribed Lithium.

Sidenote on prescriptions as well: MANY girls will say something like, “Oh gosh, my dumb doctor said I should be on these meds, but I really don’t need them. I don’t even know why he said I should take them, because I’m totally cool”.

Sure darling and I’m the fucking tooth fairy.

Weigh the evidence. Made an educated decision based on the COLLECTIVE red flags she’s displaying.

Here’s some examples of what I mean from real life experiences. Some locations and names have been changed for obvious reasons.

The Ginger

Many years ago I met an attractive redheaded girl, got her number by handing her a bar napkin and telling her to write her number down. Yes, to you youngsters reading this, that’s how us old school playas got numbers. We didn’t have fancy smartphones at the time, but I digress. She happily scribbled her number, her name and a smiley face with a heart.

Cool.

We met up a week or so afterwards (can’t remember exactly as this has been over a decade) and went to a nearby lake to hang out at the beach. We proceeded to make out, but stopped short of getting naked. We moved it from the beach to my car where we continued to get hot and heavy. Then I dropped her off at her parents house.

Kind of cool.

What had thrown me off at the time was that she made some faces when we were making out. It’s quite hard to explain this, but imagine you’re making out with a girl and she pulls her face back from kissing you and makes an odd expression that is slightly reminiscent of the Exorcist chick.

Yea, it was weird. Weird enough that I was happy to drop her off, but not weird enough that I didn’t stop making out with her beforehand. Fast-forward and we had some conversations on the phone and I was supposed to meet up with her again. Looking back I was retarded for agreeing, but alas the folly of youth.

I called her the evening of to confirm and her dad picked up the phone.

“May I speak to Jacky please?” (I’m a parent charmer)

“Well son, she’s not here right now”. He sounded cool, but worried.

I responded with the only logical response one can have, “I’m supposed to pick her up in a bit. Do you know when she’ll be back?”

“To be honest…”, his voice trailed off for a moment and I thought the call dropped. “I’m not quite sure”. “You see son, she’s in the hospital”.

My mind raced at what had happened to her and being the compassionate lad I expressed my concern for a moment and then he dropped the bombshell. “She’s at the mental hospital. She’s not well”.

Not cool.

Then it hit me. The weird faces made sense. The odd behavior became clear.

That was the end of that and it’s a very simple story, however, the point of telling this is to express to you the importance of noting red flags from the jump. It wasn’t like I invested tons of time, money, or energy into pursuing a relationship with her, nor did I have the intention, however, she definitely needed to get help and I’m happy she apparently did.

The Nympho

She was sexy as hell, a real tart. Petite, dark eyes, dark hair and an even darker pussy to match. A Persian chick of all types which usually isn’t my type, but we clicked from the jump so alas we jumped into bed mighty fast.

But we didn’t have sex right away. Three ‘dates’ if you can call getting drunk at bars and groping in the dark of her bedroom count and on the third date we got hot and heavy. This chick could suck and fuck like a pornstar and after picking her up and literally carrying her around the room while she rode my cock, I rewarded her with a fat load on her face. Her eyes glistened as she looked up at me.

Then she started to cry.

It wasn’t a wailing, but more of a moaning with big tears.

To say I was confused is an understatement. We had been on three ‘dates’, all had gone smashingly well (heh) and now we had consummated our love lust in fine fashion.

“What’s wrong darling?” I crouched down beside her cupping my balls in one hand so as to keep them from hitting the floor (hey now I have big balls) and stroking her shoulder with my free hand. A fine site we must had made.

“I’m fine, I’m fine” she whimpered, but honestly at this point I’m thinking this chick has a screw loose.

The next words out of her mouth made me drop my balls on the floor.

“Do you love me?”

If she told me she was an alien and we needed to hurry to catch the last UFO headed to Mars I wouldn’t have been more surprised.

“Uh…ummm…what??”

She grew stern. “You heard me! Do you LOVEEEEEE me?”

My balls shrunk in fear. On the floor they were no more.

I sprung up from my crouching position like a jack-in-the-box and in that moment I literally thought about Jack-In-The-Box crunchy tacos. I have no idea why in the hell weird random thoughts hit me at times of high stress, but maybe my fast movement up lodged that thought free from my subconscious. Hell, I get hungry after a pound session. What man doesn’t?

I had a few choices. I could answer and say “No”, “Yes”, or “Maybe”.

I chose the obvious. “What do you think?”

This little phrase has saved my player ass more times than I can tell you.

Her voice instantly softened and her lit up. “Okay. Want to have sex again?”

I’m an idiot because I did. I deleted her number after her crazy episode and ran into her again randomly at a club. She looked at me, but it was as though she looked through me. I was 3 feet away staring right at her. Then she walked up to me and said, “Hi, I’m Brittney. What’s your name?”

I mumbled “Gilroy, gotta piss” and bounced. Never saw her again.

To recap this story, once again nothing inherently bad came out of it, but it’s also because I stopped seeing them. Any girl asking if you love her after three dates is either a virgin, or certified crazy. Don’t stick around to figure it out.

The Freak Out Chick

This particular chick was bad as fuck. There’s no two ways about it. I won’t post her photo to prove my point, but when I say bad, she was an easy 9-10. We met at a club and had a solid conversation for about half an hour. I didn’t push for a one-night stand and to this day I don’t know why besides the fact that I don’t remember meeting her AT ALL. I only knew we had a nice thirty minute conversation because she told me on our first date. It was a long night, what can I say?

The next day, remembering I had ZERO recollection of this chick, I noticed her name and number saved in my phone under the text history. I shot her a quick text with the classic tried and true line when you can’t remember what the girl looks like:

“wats ur IG?”

She instantly sends it to me and wow, I was blown away. I waited a few minutes so as not to appear like Needy Ned and set up drinks for a couple of nights later. She promptly agreed.

The date night comes and I post up at that particular little date spot I used to use a few minutes before our date time. She walks in looking like an angel and the heads turn in the joint. If you haven’t experienced the feeling of being out with a physical dime and the attention it brings, I highly suggest doing it.

Date goes well, she gives me a blowjob, but no sex. No worries, she’s smoking hot, cool to boot, so I’m not in a rush.

Flash forward two more dates (the second one I actually teased her without fucking her. Was in a state of plenty of options had already had sex with another girl that day and wanted her hopping on me like a wild woman by the third date, which she did) and we do the deed. It was very good. Not mind blowing good, but hella good. Somewhere between holy shit and damn this is goooood.

About two weeks later (seeing each other around 4 times in between) we’re having sex and all of sudden she jumped off my dick (she was riding me), sits on the edge of the bed and starts to cry. You gotta think too, you fuck enough girls and you will experience shit like this, but at the time, I’m like really? What the fuck is wrong with girls nowadays?

She proceeds to tell me that she was raped exactly one year ago by an attacker. I’m not talking about false rape bullshit that’s prevalent in the news, but real horrible shit that’s detestable and fucked up. She showed me the pictures from when it happened, the police report, etc so I know 100% she was not bullshitting. Needless to say though, it showed me a side of her, that while it was NOT her fault, it was baggage I didn’t want to deal with. I’ll explain why.

Flash forward another week or two later and I had lost my phone and by the time I got a new one it had been a couple of days. I had no contact with her during those two days. When I finally got my phone, I texted her and she asked me to come by her apartment. I went by, she greeted me at the door crying and we sat on the couch. She proceeded to rub my hand and express how worried she was about me.

Now here’s the deal: a more compassionate ride on a white horse type of guy would have been okay with all this. I wasn’t.

It’s not that I don’t want a girl to express worry if I’m gone, but that if this is what happened within the first month to month and half, then what the hell kind of drama would there be in four months? Or a year?

We stopped seeing each other and she immediately up and married some random dude within a matter of three months.

That tells you everything.

The moral of this experience is when you start seeing a girl look for baggage that can’t be fixed. Is it her fault that horrible incident happened to her? Of course not and it’s truly sad, however, you have to decide in your life what’s more important to you: being a shoulder that will be cried on constantly, having a clingy girlfriend or wife who freaks out constantly when you’re not around (sidebar: how can you expect a woman like that to be a good mother of your child?), or your goals, dreams and most importantly, YOUR sanity.

It’s not my job to play counselor and I don’t want it in my life. I’ve found plenty of baggage free chicks, or super light ‘baggage’ who are rock stable, chill and for the most part drama free (every girl has a little drama in them). I choose peace. I advise you to as well.

Switching gears slightly, here’s some actual medical symptoms for the aforementioned disorders. You can see some parallels between them and the stories you just read and they’ll be handy to guide you.

Symptoms Checklist

Bipolar Disorder

Source

  • Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
  • Decreased need for sleep
  • Unusual talkativeness
  • Racing thoughts
  • Distractibility
  • Increased goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or agitation
  • Doing things that are unusual and that have a high potential for painful consequences — for example, unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions or foolish business investments
  • Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, such as feeling sad, empty, hopeless or tearful
  • Markedly reduced interest or feeling no pleasure in all — or almost all — activities most of the day, nearly every day
  • Significant weight loss when not dieting, weight gain, or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day
  • Either insomnia or sleeping excessively nearly every day
  • Either restlessness or slowed behavior that can be observed by others
  • Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
  • Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt, such as believing things that are not true, nearly every day
  • Decreased ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day
  • Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide planning or attempt
  • Anxious distress — having anxiety, such as feeling keyed up, tense or restless, having trouble concentrating because of worry, fearing something awful may happen, or feeling you may not be able to control yourself

 

Borderline Personality Disorder

Source

  • An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection
  • A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn’t care enough or is cruel
  • Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don’t exist at all
  • Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours
  • Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship
  • Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection
  • Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety
  • Ongoing feelings of emptiness
  • Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights

 

Histrionic Disorder

Source

  • Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
  • Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
  • Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
  • Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to themself
  • Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
  • Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
  • Is highly suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances
  • Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are

Final Notes on Red Flags…

To get a better idea of red flags in action I highly recommend the movie My Week With Marilyn. I know that the current generation of girls LOVE to put Marilyn on a pedestal, hence their constant Instagram posting of her quotes (forgetting the fact she killed herself and had train wreck of a personal life), but if there ever was a women with a personality disorder (may she RIP), it was her. This movie perfectly captures many of these red flags. Here’s the trailer for your horror enjoyment.


 

Part 3: The Manipulation

Her perfectly manicure talons have been hooked in you, you’ve noticed some red flags, but may have brushed them off, but eventually you start to notice something else about her: she’s a MASTER manipulator.

The manipulation is perhaps the worst part for many men who are unaware of the dangers of damaged women, for it’s in this portion of the inevitable process where much of the damage is done. The exodus is more emotionally damaging, but the manipulation is where much of the financial damage can occur.

If there’s one thing that many of these girls have in common (and there’s a LOT they do), it’s their penchant for fine things. There’s nothing wrong with having a taste for the finer things in life, however, when a girl manipulates you to your hurt in order to get what she wants, then you need to reassess the relationship i.e. leave her ass.

The manipulation isn’t just limited to financial, but is also focused on your other relationships. Getting you turned against your friends and family is another technique they’ll use so that you become more dependent on them.

Here’s some examples of what a damaged girl will do.

  • Lie about your friends to you
  • Lie to your friends about you
  • Plant thoughts in your head about your upbringing/place blame on your parents to create a wedge
  • Make you feel sorry for her so you pay her bills through playing the victim
  • Manipulate you into forfeiting your job/dreams/goals to make her happy (hint: no matter what you do, it won’t be enough)
  • Setup situations to make you jealous (invite an ex boyfriend of hers to her birthday party you’re throwing for her type stuff)
  • Purposefully flirt with other men in front of you, then deny to the point you feel you imagined it
  • Blatantly lie to your face about ridiculous shit (argue the sky is black, when it’s blue as the ocean)
  • Damage your credit by taking out credit cards/loans in your name only to leave you with the debt (happened to someone close to me and created a nightmare situation for him)
  • Lie to the cops about you
  • Try to turn you against your children
  • Try to turn your children against you
  • Lie to your employers at the office party about you (it’s happened to men)
  • Lie to you about your employers to cause you undue stress/worry

Now the deal with these manipulations are they’re pure evil in nature.

This isn’t a chick trying to persuade you to take a job with her Dad’s law firm so she can feel secure and because you’re being a bum with no direction. That’s different. That’s how chicks are designed and it’s ingrained in their DNA.

I’m talking about malicious intent, blatant manipulation that’s designed to destroy and cause you stress.

They call these type of people Energy Vampires and it’s for good reason: they will drain you of energy like you’ve never imagined, throwing your life into a tailspin of which some men never recover.

To clarify how manipulation can happen, I’d like to share with you the story of Jeff.

Jeff and BPD Becky

Jeff meets Becky at a work seminar. Becky is attractive, vivacious and the life of the party. Jeff is drawn to her energy (great at first!) and how she’s naturally extroverted. You see, Jeff was an introvert and found it stressful to socialize for a long period of time. Becky made Jeff feel comfortable and to be frank, safe.

You might wonder why a man would feel safe and calm around a woman. What could she be doing to make him feel at ease? This is something that some women do bring to the table and for some men they need this in their life.

Unfortunately, no man would need Becky in their life for long.

Jeff and Becky enjoy six entire months of real early courtship bliss. In fact, the relationship was going so well that Jeff could hardly believe his luck. Sure, there were a couple of oddities about Becky, but Jeff brushed them off with encouraging words from his mother who would make comments like, “Well no relationship is perfect my son” and “You need to give me some grandkids! Becky would make a great mother”. Unfortunately Jeff’s mom’s BPD detector needing tuning.

Becky’s trips to a counselor of which she told Jeff it was none of his business would be the first glaring clue. A dummy with low IQ could see something was wrong, but we’re all dummies when we’re in ‘love’ aka thinking with our hormones instead of CHOOSING to love after careful and rational observing for a period of time.

Also, it could be the damn pills she constantly was popping, but you know, Becky always had an excuse.
“My back hurts!” and “Something is wrong with me, the doctor doesn’t know what, but probably just my age and hormones” were the usual goto’s she’d use.

She was right. There was something wrong with her. She was 32 years old and single.

I’ll write that again for obvious emphasis: 32 years old and single.

As non-PC as this and despite the average of single people getting married being pushed to older ages, it does not fucking matter, so heed the facts that aren’t fuzzy and friendly:

If a woman is NOT a widow, or left high and dry randomly by a real asshole (I’m talking maniac who beats his wife type) and she’s single at 30 years old, there’s SOMETHING wrong with her.

Punch your keyboard. Call me an asshole. Hate my guts. I don’t give a fuck and will point you to the nearest mountaintop so you can scream from the top of your lungs, “CMQ is a misogynist!!!!”, the facts remain the same.

Back to Becky…

Her back was hurting, she had a hormone issue, etc and Jeff meekly took her excuses to heart.

But then the real trouble started…

She got involved with his kids. Oh, I didn’t mention she convinced him to marry her in a Justice of the Peace shotgun wedding (no guests allowed of course) and get him to buy a house putting her name on it as well?

Well poor ole Jeff did.

So let’s assess: she had him legally bound to her through marriage, her name on the title to their new house Jeff could barely afford and now she was playing step-mother to his kids.

It gets worse…

Two of the step-kids were 8 and 10 respectively. His third child was 18 years old senior strapping high school jock. You can only guess what happened next. She started having sex with the 18-year-old son of Jeff. Now let’s not even get into how fucked up that is by his son, let’s stay focused on Becky because it gets even worse…

Eventually Jeff finds out and gets into a physical altercation with his son. He doesn’t punch him, but gets in his face and some light shoving goes on between them. Becky calls the police even though there was no need to *remember when I mentioned the Compulsive Cops Caller*, but before they arrive she decides to add fuel to the fire and repeatedly smashes a frying pan against the side of her face with the plan to tell the cops he hit her with it.

Now let’s be clear: we’re not talking about some Jerry Springer Show family who live in a trailer park. We’re talking about your typical middle-class middle America family.

Cops come, arrest Jeff on charges of assault (pushing his son and beating Becky with the pan). One was blatantly false and the other was a stretch due to lack of physical marks on either party. Also, the son pushed Jeff first.

Can you guess what happens next?

They go to trial, Jeff loses custody to his kids, loses his job, is forced to pay child support and pay for the house that she’s still living in with HIS kids and gets a few months in jail, plus his record is stained which will pretty much make him unemployable.

BPD Becky ruined his life, but Jeff, if he would have listened to his gut and investigated the red flags further could have avoided his suffering.

There’s no happy ending to the story. It fucked Jeff’s life. His son is a seriously fucked up individual and last word is Becky and him are planning on marrying. His life will be fucked too without a doubt.

I didn’t tell you this story to make you of fearful of dating women, but instead to point out HOW a man can be manipulated IF he doesn’t have good frame, good game and avoid toxic women. If Jeff could have this post right now and read it the night he met Becky his life could have went in a positive direction.

Maybe you’re Jeff who just met a Becky.

Maybe you know a Jeff who you’ve warned about the Becky he just started seeing.

If so, then share this post with them. And if you’re early stages Jeff, then print this article out and read it every night before you go to bed.


 Part 4: The Male Hamster

It’s common to talk about the female ‘hamster’, her brain spinning in an illogical fashion stooped in emotion, but did you know men have a ‘hamster’ too? Usually it’s clouded by you guessed it, emotion, and pussy. It’s eloquent I know, but the power of a woman’s pussy has started wars between countries, so don’t think it can’t cloud your emotion. A nice set of tits can kick that process off too.

There’s varying degrees at which the male hamster starts to turn like a hamster slowly walking on his wheel until he’s moving so fast he flies off of it. Here they are.

Light Hamster

Light Hamster is when a guy will casually think or say something that is almost imperceptible to him. It’s like when you might say “I’m sorry” to someone as you open a door and they’re stepping through. It’s more instinct than anything. Pretty girls can short-circuit a man’s brain (yes, it is scientific and a woman’s pretty face causes our brains to respond as they would to cocaine or cash. See this Harvard Study) into reacting in ways that are conflicting with what his proper frame should be.

Jack meets Stacy at the dog park. They instantly ‘connect’ over their fuzzy fuckers and decide to go on a date later that evening. Jack has no idea how to build suspense and intrigue with a girl and offers his Saturday night up like a sacrificial lamb to Stacy who eagerly snatches at the opportunity. She had just walked out on her husband little to Jack’s knowledge.

As they leave the dog park Jack starts to pull out of the parking lot at the same time Stacy does. Jack doesn’t hesitate and yells out the window “So sorry! My bad, here, you go ahead!” and waves at Stacy with the enthusiasm of Barney Fife and Herge’s Thompson and Thomson Twins combined.

Stacy doesn’t acknowledge Jack as she peels through the open space Jack just backed out of. Jack plays the scenario over and over in his mind on the way home, thinking thoughts like:

  • There’s no reason for her to say anything
  • There’s no reason for her to wave back
  • She probably doesn’t have great vision and didn’t see me
  • I should have yelled louder. It’s my fault.
  • I’m an idiot for not seeing her and letting her exit first.

This is Jeff’s hamster lightly walking on the wheel. It’s the start of some real bullshit unless Jeff nips in the bud and quick.

The mistake Jeff is making is already putting her pretty face on a pedestal. Little does he know that it won’t take long for her hidden dragon to appear and he’ll have wished he took off like Jeff Gordon in the third turn instead of backing up for her.

Now you might be thinking, “Well, Christian, he doesn’t KNOW she’s a damaged woman yet, so what did he do wrong besides being overeager?” and the answer is this:

When you start off with allowing your light hamster to start moving in the beginning of meeting a girl, you set the stage kickstarting the momentum to head down the slippery slope of gauging her through lenses of emotion instead of logic and proper frame.

Jeff was fucking up because his frame was already fucked up due to bad inner game and allowing her beauty to affect him to such a degree. If he knew HOW to combat the knee jerk reaction when around a beautiful woman then he wouldn’t have responded the way he did, thus using good frame, boosting her intrigue and preventing what we’ll see happen in the next section between the two of them.

Quicksand Hamster

Stacy follows through with the date and Jeff selects a fancy restaurant for the date. He should have started off with something more light, a round of drinks, a coffee, or maybe some light sushi. When getting to know a girl less is more and sitting through a fancy dinner from the jump is rarely fun for either party.

Stacy shows up ten minutes late for the dinner and Jeff sits eagerly waiting growing anxious by the minute. Red Flag #1 She’s late.

Throughout the dinner she constantly looks at her phone and comments about the guys hitting her up on Instagram and Tinder. Red Flag #2. She’s rude as fuck.

Jeff brushes it off with more hamstering with thoughts like:

  • Well, she’s EXTREMELY attractive so I don’t mind
  • I’m lucky to even have gotten this date
  • I wonder what she sees in me with all these men hitting her up
  • That’s just girls nowadays

Jeff’s hamster is slowly sinking…like a man trapped in quicksand. He knows in his gut that something isn’t quite right, but he’s so blinded by her beauty and charm (when she does give him attention) that he ignores it.

After dinner they walk along a popular area of the city near some canals. It’s a romantic spot known for couples celebrating their first year anniversary, not a first date, but Jeff is clueless.

Jeff goes in for the kiss and Stacy pulls away. Jeff is confused, but Stacy tells him she doesn’t kiss on the first date and Jeff believes her. Red Flag #3. Obvious lie. A woman Stacy’s age has and does kiss on the first date if the attraction is there.

As they head back to their cars, Stacy pulls him in close and lays her head on his chest and talks about wanting to find true love. It throws Jeff off slightly, but assumes she really is sincere and so he holds her while she talks about her abusive ex husband (she’s still technically married, but lies to Jeff). Red Flag #4. Talking shit about the ex on date one, mentions abuse and includes dreamy talk about finding ‘love’ with a man she met mere hours ago.

As Jeff drives home his balls swollen and blue like a Robin’s eggs on a Spring morning he contemplates Stacy and thinks thoughts like this:

  • She’s so pretty! I wonder what my mother will think about her…
  • Wait until I parade her around my buddies
  • We could have some really good-looking kids and I’ll bet she’d make a great mother
  • I should take her on a trip! I’ll look into CheapTickets(dot)com as soon as I get home and see what I can afford

Jeff’s hamster is sinking into the quicksand of bullshit. Unfortunately, how many men does this happen to every single night throughout the world?

You’re Fucked Hamster

It’s now been two months into Jeff and Stacy’s ‘relationship’. Jeff has maxed out his credit cards financing a trip for the two of them that Stacy begrudgingly agreed to go on. It’s not that Stacy doesn’t like Jeff, it’s that she knows he’ll go to the end of the world to take care of her and she really needs a security blanket and FAST because ole hubby is filing for a divorce after she left him. A girl has to do what a girl has to do she thinks in between thoughts of the consistent ping of Tinder alerts she receives from sexy guys with terrible game trying to get their dicks wet.

Jeff finances the trip to Cabo for the two of them. The dates are set. He’s excited and is planning on proposing to her. He buys a ring he can’t afford, but shit society and his mother told him it should cost 2.5 months of salary, or was it 3.5 months worth? Nevermind he had his dream woman, The ‘One’. Yes, it’s only been two months, but they have had sex four times and it was the best sex of his life. It was almost like Stacy was mechanical when they would fuck, but Jeff couldn’t believe his luck when inside her. Her face, how she moved her body; everything was just perfect. Or so he thought.

The day comes for them to leave for the airport and Stacy doesn’t show up at his house at the allotted time. Jeff calls her a few times, but her phone goes straight to voicemail. He drives past her house, but doesn’t see her car. Worried now, he calls the cops to file a missing person’s report, but they laugh it off saying it needs to be at least 48 hours before they’ll look into it since she’s a grown ass woman.

Jeff’s gut starts to burn with pain. Something is wrong. Something is off, but what exactly?

Jeff’s hamster starts to go full tilt retard:

  • What did I do to ruin this relationship?!
  • It’s me, I know it’s me
  • She’s too good for me anyway and that’s probably why she left me
  • How am I going to pay these credit cards off? Oh well, she does deserve a trip, if she’d only pick up the phone!

Jeff’s hamster is officially fucked and it won’t be until Jeff discovers her real past that the puzzle pieces will connect.


 

Part 5: The Exodus

The exodus is the most painful portion of the damaged woman process. Usually done with flourish, she’ll save her last hurrah to be as dramatic and theatrical as process. Remember that damaged women THRIVE off of theatrics. The real issue with the exodus is that many men don’t know how to react to the event, so they get themselves into more trouble. I would love to see statistics on how many men are in prison due to damaged women. Men who could not control their emotions, acted out in violence and ruined their lives.

The mark of a real man is a man who can control his emotions during high times of stress, but let’s keep it real: we’ve all overreacted at one point or another in our lives when dealing with women. The good news if you now know how to control your emotions so you won’t be a slave to them like women are.

There’s a few ways the pyramid of bullshit collapses around a man who’s tangled up with a damaged woman and it’s not limited to just these, however, from my experience and having heard from and discussed with many men on their experiences, these are the main ones.

  • She’ll go ‘ghost’ (straight up disappear. This happened to me)
  • Run off with another man, but let you know about it (a woman did this to HER man with me. I’ve been on both sides of the coin)
  • Falsely accuse you inducing legal repercussions to get you locked up (this is a BIG one and is the most dangerous part of dealing with a damaged woman. A false rape charge no matter how false can ruin a man’s life. This is why it’s VERY important you learn how to spot a damaged woman in advance before it even gets to that point. Don’t let your hamster start running. Stay logical, pragmatic and keep your emotions at bay until you get to know her)
  • Get pregnant, claim you wouldn’t be a good father and leave you (this has happened many times to men)
  • Purposefully abort the baby out of spite in order to hurt you and provide a reason to break up (next level evil that has happened)
  • Fuck a friend or family member of yours then tell you about it and act like they came onto them (super common)
  • Run off with a girl (yep, the bisexual chicks you gotta watch out for)
  • Claim a need to go to rehab, get you to pay for it and ghosts you

If you’re in the middle of experiencing the exodus, then here’s a quick list of what you can do right NOW in order to regain some control of what’s going in your life:

  1. Cut off ALL contact with her immediately. Social media, cell phone (block/change your number), and even temporarily move out of your place if she’s well aware of where you live for your safety and so you have witnesses present with you (i.e. a friend, family member etc).
  2. Repeat step one: DO NOT CALL, TEXT, EMAIL or send smoke signals to her. She’s done. It’s over.
  3. Get the fuck ahold of yourself emotionally. If there’s ever a time where you need to man up and think clearly, it’s right now. You can’t afford to be bellyaching, dreaming and wondering about the what ifs.
  4. Get advice from someone you trust who is REDPILL. If you get bluepill advice at this time in your life odds are you’ll get led astray even more. Remember, it’s the bluepill that got you fucked up in the beginning. You need truth, not fantasy.
  5. Legally protect yourself. Screenshot the fuck out of any texts from her, emails, etc. If you have video, or audio back it up as well. Depending on where you love you’ll either be able to use it in court or not, but it can help decide if they’ll press charges or not.
  6. Take a trip. You need to be as far away as possible from her when she decides your evil. Trust me, it happens. Go somewhere else for a few days, clear your mind and re-read the hell out of this article until you put the puzzle pieces together.
  7. Don’t blame yourself. Look, you fucked up, should have seen the red flags, should have listened to your gut, should have known she was damaged goods, BUT you didn’t and you don’t know what you don’t know. I was clueless at one point too and had to go through hell in order to figure it out. Blaming yourself will only intensify the emotional pain which will hinder your progress in thinking clearly through the situation though. You can sort out later where you fucked up so you can learn from it, but don’t belabor it. It’s simple: you got involved and fell for a crazy chick. It happens.

When I experienced the exodus that I wrote about here, it was the most painful emotional experience I’ve went through, however, it caused me to transition from boyhood into manhood. Sometimes we go through hell in order to be refined. If I wouldn’t have gone through it with her I would have continued blindly with women until experiencing perhaps something even worse with another. Believe it or not, I’m actually thankful I went through it for a couple of reasons:

  1. It showed how damaged women can be, thus providing me with the experience to avoid them for life
  2. It’s allowed me to relate to men like you who may have gone through similar experiences and perhaps help you with my writing

If you see the exodus coming in your current relationship, the red flag alerts are going off of warp speed and you know in your gut something is off, then plan to get out and fast. I can only hope this article will PREVENT you from experiencing it.


 

Part 6: The Hope

If after reading this post you feel like women are evil and you’ll never find a good one, then I want to take a deep breath for a moment.

Not all women are damaged.

Not all women are damaged.

Not all women are damaged.

You can be cynical and believe what you want, but having dated hundreds of girls, having slept with 450+ women in my life (I’m 31yo) and having seen almost everything under the sun when it comes to relationships and dating, I can tell you there are some high quality women in this world. I’ve enjoyed and currently enjoy beautiful relationships with incredible women who have only spurred me onto be a better man while providing the joy of their feminine natures.

Is it easy to find them? If you know where to look for them and what to look for, then it’s not extremely difficult.

There are women out there who will be supportive of your dreams, loyal and committed to building a life and a family with you, but if you take on a toxic attitude of AWALT (all women are like that), then I can guarantee you’ll never find them. This type of attitude is women repellent. What you look for you will get. If you think all women are psycho whores, then that’s all you’ll find. If you think all women are out to get you thrown in jail, then that’s all you’ll find. If you think all women are purple-haired nose ring sportin’ feminists, then guess what? That’s all you’ll find and obsess about non-stop. By the way, I’ve yet to meet a high value man who’s obsessed with feminists who consistently bangs gorgeous women and makes real money. Just food for thought…

This guide shouldn’t serve to make you cynical or fearful. Fear will hold you back from becoming the best man you can be and stifle your attempts to meet high quality women. Instead, use it for what it is: a testament to what CAN happen, a guide on what to LOOK for so as to avoid damaged women and a litmus test of sorts to hold the quality women up to.

I hope and pray this guide serves you well and if it helps even one man regain clarity then it’ll have been worth my time.

I’d like to hear your feedback on this type of article as I may consider doing more lengthy posts like this in the future, or if you need advice, simply leave a comment below and I’ll respond.

Cheers and to the hope gentlemen,

CMQ

 

UPDATE with Reader’s Emails

If you’d like to have your story posted here then send it to askchristian@realchristianmcqueen.com The name and locations will be changed for privacy reasons. Please state that you’re okay with it being posted here to help other men through YOUR story. Your privacy will be FULLY hidden so as to protect you. If you just want to email for advice or to share something in confidence that is perfectly okay too.

Reader’s Email:

Christian,
Why couldn’t you have posted the guide to damaged women two years ago? I kid haha. My name is (redacted for privacy reasons) This is my story. If you use it please change the names cause I’m in the middle of a legal battle.
I met (name redacted for privacy) roughly two and a half years ago. She was married and still is to a (location redacted for privacy) cop.

She chased me and I gamed her like a seasoned pro. At first I had no desire cause of her husband but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. She would stop at nothing to land me.

When she did on new years my life changed.

The sex was amazing. Literally like a drug. We did everything without going into details everywhere.

The red flags in the beginning
-she always had a story. She did this or that. To try hard if you get me. It was obvious it was lies.
-she had cancer and survived it. Used it to manipulate me.
-would flirt with other dudes to stress me in front of me. Game taught me to not care and I didn’t really.
We left (location redacted for privacy) and moved in together in (location redacted for privacy).

Long story short cause I realize this could go forever. I caught her cheating, whatever didn’t care. I was looking to leave anyways. But she left with our car the next morning never came back. I am an arrogant prick and didn’t expect that.

Was served with a Protection From Abuse order the most hilarious lies ever. Seriously, it’s comical. I was homeless for two days. Live out of a hotel. Anyways the PFA was about screwing me financially. Got an attorney PFA is handled. No wrongdoing admitted cause there was none and we agree not to see each other for like six months. Good ridden.

I thought it was done than yesterday I get a call from the cops and I’m being charged with simple assault and harassment. Lol. My attorney will crush her and this will be dropped. Plus I think she is going to get busted for false statements which would be euphoric.

Main point. Up until I read what you wrote about damaged women my mind was poisoned with nostalgia. I missed the good times. Reading that was a huge wake up call.
Thank you,
(name redacted for privacy)

 

Reader’s Email:

Christian,

My god, I don’t even know where to start with this, so I’ll start with thank you. Thank you so so much for all that you do. Your recent guide to damaged women is something else entirely, it’s like you’ve lived alongside me for the past two years.

You’ve laid bare in this post for many men what will likely be one of the most trying things they’ll ever go through if they don’t listen to your advice, some might not even survive it. I almost didn’t.

This is my story. I’m more than OK with you posting it, but fair warning, it’s a bit long.

This all started a bit over 2 years ago when I was starting to get involved in the community by volunteering at a fire station near my apartment in (location redacted) while working in consulting. After my very first night at the station a group of us went out for beers at a local bar and about an hour in, one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, let alone met, joined our group. Picture half Asian model. It turns out she volunteered at the station too! My god I had to have her.

Right from the start it was obvious she had that table wrapped around her finger. When she asked everyone to give her their menus because it bothered her as she was a bartender, every single person handed them to her like robots…except me. When she asked, I said no – and with a smirk – I like a bit of variety in my life. Little did I know this would set off a chain of events that would see us both an inch from death.

Fast forward to the next few months: I would find myself being lied to constantly to the point where up was left and right was diagonal to the southwest. All of these lies were plausibly deniable given her many jobs bartending at a top club in (major city), working at a country club around golf pros, and eventually as a legit model — she knew everyone, especially if they were men. My default state had always been to trust and here I was having the hottest, kinkiest sex of my life with the most charming and attractive woman I had ever met, so who was I to question anything?

And now for SOME of the crimson red flags in the first six months:

  • Always had a long story for why she wasn’t doing what she said she would
  • She punched another girl who volunteered with us in the face
  • She was prescribed so many meds, I couldn’t remember how many
  • Knew all the club owners and promoters all around town
  • Was a huge molly fan
  • The few girlfriends she had were known cheaters
  • Most of her friends were guys
  • Needed attention ALL the time
  • Flirted with other men in front of me with abandon

And then the biggest red flag came about 7 months into dating when she tried to kill herself in front of me by taking a whole bunch of Xanax. After the most hellish and emotional 72 hours in the ED and at her commitment hearing, I booked a flight to see my brother and parents for 2 hours later. I didn’t care that the flight was 4x the usual cost. I was so numb and dead inside that a friend I’ve had for 21 years said I looked the worst he had ever seen by far. I was even having thoughts of suicide, something I never thought I’d ever have.

At this point, I had been reading blogs like yours for about a year and realized I had to make a choice — and not an emotional one. I decided that to save my life I was going to take my boss’s offer to move to (major city) and step into what would turn into an amazing opportunity to prove I was ready to lead a consulting project. ULTIMATELY I HAD TO MOVE 450 MILES TO ESCAPE HER WEB.

Unfortunately this story doesn’t stop here. The next 6 months would go very well, with me crushing life, including getting that promotion, starting my path toward fitness, cutting a 10 year binge drinking habit, and meeting some incredible people in (major city), to the point where I’m now hooked up with VIP hosts and promoters whenever I go. All it took was getting rid of this toxic woman and focusing on my goals. But part of me was numb and buried deep – my emotional side.

I’d say at this point I was 90% over her – until she contacted me in what would be a one month back and forth by text and an eventual phone call. On that call I admitted I would be in town for business and we should meet up. After a whirlwind date involving her wearing remote controlled vibrating panties while we ate by the waterfront and then me tying her up at my friend’s apartment to give her birthday spankings, I was back in her web and this time worse than before.

Some of the flags of our original courtship had started to reappear right after I agreed to us going on a trip together so we could get closer. I decided to put us through a test – so I booked us a room at the (redacted for privacy), and made her pay half.

Like all good things they eventually come to an end.

On the 2nd day of our trip I ended up glancing at her phone when it lit up with a text from another dude while she was passed out after a trip to the day club, that she then lied about. At this point the past 2 years of lies flashed before my eyes and I gave up my calm cool demeanor and lost it. I “helped” her pack her suitcase, kicked her out, and blocked her number. She ended up having to buy a new flight as it was 2 days before we were supposed to leave.

Through the emotional pain of the last 6 months I got stronger. In the last 3 months I’ve been with three girls who were all 22 or 23 (I’m 29): two of those in a threesome, the other a 2 month long fuck buddy. I’m also well on my way to training for an Ironman 70.3, interviewing for jobs that will give me a 50%+ increase in pay, and am rubbing shoulders with the elite – picture Presidential Cabinet level.

Your post gave me the final understanding I needed to fully reach acceptance and for that I am truly grateful.

Thank you so much again.

(name redacted for privacy)

27 Replies to “An Exclusive Guide To Damaged Women (ignore at your own risk)”

  1. An on point post man!

    been reading this blog from time to time to remind myself. some of the red flags are so SUBTLE to notice. when I felt pitch black(after I banged my ex girlfriend twice and having this gut feeling to leave). I looked for your website again and boom! I just found this article. I don’t think that was a coincidence. I read this blog and understand what happened about me. that was when I’m seeing again my LTR ex-girlfriend (but I don’t have plans to have a relationship with her anymore) and I dipped into oneitis and got back up because of this blog. it saved me from all the drama and bullshit. I don’t know why I still felt that oneitis shit. But I do know it’s not healthy for me anymore and has to understand things in detail to get back my Game up. That’s why I worked on my frame and sharpen my game constantly. Very thankful for this one! It saves a lot of time and effort.

    One thing I’ve learned to that experience:

    -Trust your gut. regardless of what you feel-

    Like

  2. Christian…great advice. Id like some more detailed advice on bpd. Im dating a younger than myself woman who has bpd. She likes to be dominated. I mean she isn’t into dirty talk. But she loves spankings…hard. But…what concerns me is some of her appetites revolve around a form of force sex…role playing such as being her prisoner…she loves to be tied…surprising her with a hand down her pants while shes unsuspecting, like. Hshe gets off on being violated. You get the picture.
    My question is I enjoy some of this…I play…but does this seem excessive? She is really a great toucher. Like…unreal. She can tease. Seduce. She did have a horrible childhood. (Proven). We dated a while back for a few months…and my gut said something is off, due to her spending time away for a couple days and not even a miss you from her. I dumped her. But, we hooked up again recently…and she really seems PERFECT. But, she does need her alone time. This is the odd part. If she loves me like she says…why does she need alone time for a few days? I read it could be because they want to leave on a high note. Ive been doing a lot of bpd women…and I have read some horrible things. She does not display possesive or jealous nature. But her mother is bipolar. And nuts. Am I really asking for it?

    Like

  3. CMQ, great article, and made me think about a term I learned recently, ’emotionally unavailable’. Is this the same as BPD or NPD, or differ in some important way?

    Like

  4. Great article man. I had one crazy experience in my early 20s (suicide attempt in front of me, she was fucking my roommate and hopped onto me) that set me straight for life. I’m so glad to have resources like this before I even hit 30 because it’s a shame to see grown men with families and great careers get torn down by “damaged women”.

    Like

  5. Christian,

    I want to thank you for the article and add a few comments on how I’ve been using it.

    I have returned to this article many times as I get my head back to normal after my first experience with a NPD. And while there is a host of material on finding and keeping an LTR, there is not nearly enough like this article on screening to filter out bad fits from the beginning.

    I realized that this dearth of material mimics one of the problems I see in my professional financial career. It is my belief that the biggest mistake most investors make is starting with a reward/upside focus as opposed to a risk/downside focus, and that this separates the good investors from the best investors.

    Most investors will look at a potential investment opportunity and try to understand all the ways it will be worth more in the future – ie increased sales, pricing power, costs savings,… What this strategy misses is how easy it is for a company to underperform in the long run. Which is why the best investors start out focusing on the potential risks – ie increased competition, R&D dead ends, management failures,… The strength of this second strategy is that if you can get comfortable with the risks and believe that they can’t hurt you, then every investment you make will have a better chance of being financially successful – ie ‘I’m safe because even if sales fall 30%, the company has patents worth three times the purchase price and a competitor will acquire them”. A side effect of this is that you will make many fewer investments because the risks disqualify most opportunities.

    I’m just now understanding how well this dynamic also applies to LTRs and finally applying it. So instead of focusing on the benefits of a new woman (hot, sexy, well behaved, cool,…), I’m laser focused on potential risks (doesn’t dig my humor, self-centered, disrespectful,…). It is not that I’m looking for someone with no faults, but for someone whose faults are such that even if they get worse they won’t negatively affect my life.

    Thought you might appreciate these thoughts, feel free to improve upon them in your own writing.

    Like

  6. oh CMQ, wished you had written this article sooner. i’m 46, got divorced in 2015 and met a flawed hottie (31yo) on the 5th of march 2016.. my god, what an experience. like u say, fuck like a pornstar and the “connection” she made was masterful, these bitches/witches can turn on their supernatural magnetic personality & charm. it was a 3-4 week fling/romance thing (the 1st++ week was the best ever in my life with a woman, she wanted me to take ice while fking said it was the best but i chickened out cause i dont do hard drugs, i thought she was just being naughty) By the 2nd++ week oh boy, she started turning, like holy shit!! and then i experienced a ‘fall’ like ive never had before in my life. what an experience but i hope to never experience it again.

    basically all the bpd signs u mention were there , with the usual suspects like alcohol abuse + sleeping pill abuse + adopted + miscarriage + past abusive relationship + indulge in black magic (yeah, whether it was a figment of her imagination or not i don’t know but there were amulets, black dog, food ‘offerings’ n all!) etc etc. my gut instinct around the 2nd week was when i met her and my dick n balls just ‘shrank’ a bit, like they knew something wasn’t right cause she was starting to ‘turn’. i was still so ‘hooked’ (imprinted into my mind, the bitch on her knees with her blue laced panties and ass up in the air, the smell of her, intoxicating like nothing on earth…..) i knew it was not my job to save this crazy-assed-bitch but even then, the lure of her was hard to let go. like a fkin drug, eh mates? but luckily before things got too serious, my adhd/obsessive-compulsive/mood swings disorder came out and forced my hand, and i think i became a bit too irritating for her. then she called me ‘crazy’ and blocked my calls. i hope that’s the last of it.

    There’s this book ’emotional vampires’ and i think you hit the nail on the head about these kind of women. thanks so much for all your articles!

    Like

  7. CMQ, thank you for writing this article. You have just saved me a fair amount of money and, more importantly, an immense amount of time. I could elaborate, but that would be preaching to the choir. Thanks again, I owe you a solid!

    Like

  8. Terrific post McQueen. ALL men young and old should read this and heed the advice. Too many of our brothers have gone down in flames getting mixed up with these crazy broads. You have to identify them quick so you can get the hell out of dodge.

    Keep up the great work bro!

    Like

  9. Interesting article. I’m not really interested in “the game” myself (more than satisfied with the single life, at least for now), but it’s good advice that might help some of the people I know, or maybe me ten years down the line. My brother went through some of this shit, then-current now-ex almost-wife got pregnant with some other dude’s spawn and he didn’t know it wasn’t his. Raised it for nearly a year before Dad talked him into getting a paternity test just to be safe, found out, broke up with her. Then she forged a check in his name for several thousand bucks and he’s on the line for it because he made a bad decision (didn’t show up to his initial court date when the bank sued and got a default judgment against him). Wish I would have known back then what advice to give him, though I’m not sure he would have taken it.

    Like

  10. Great article – wish I had read it years ago. You know, being a Christian, I don’t approve of your player lifestyle, but I read your articles anyway because there is red pill gold in them. This one sums up and deliciously expands upon so much of what I have learned the hard way.

    Like

  11. A great article. I’m 21 years old and in the beginning stages of my playboy journey.

    Hopefully reading this and taking all the advice onboard saves me from future trouble.

    God bless you, CMQ.

    Like

  12. CMQ, another, thoroughly laid out piece of wisdom that should be required reading for every guy under the sun.

    Just wondering how come you didn’t include NPD. Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

    Like

    1. Zan,

      Thanks man.

      According to Mayoclinic.org here’s the definition of NPD:

      Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

      Who’s that sound like? Our generation. Every single one of them. It’d be hard to distinguish between who has it and who’s ‘normal’ now.

      Like

  13. Amazing post CMQ, read all of it in one sitting, should consider doing more in the future to cover a topic so in depth.

    You really captured what it’s like to go through the whole ordeal from meeting to banging to the fallout with a crazy chick.

    I’m “lucky” enough to only have hooked up with one such girl and it was early on in my Game career. It taught me a lot about the red flags you mentioned and managed to avoid them from that point on. Cute Mexican chick, adopted, close to her bro, daddy issues, no real female friends, talks about her exes, princess behaviour – all the signs you pointed to.

    She was my girlfriend for 9 months before I wisely ended it after being tired of dealing with the drama. In hindsight, I was able to take the lessons I learned from that relationship to screen girls and potential relationship material girls much better moving forward. I was also lucky to escape relatively unscathed compared to your examples.

    More red flags to add based on my own experiences:

    – Withholding sex as emotional black mail or using sex as a bargaining chip
    – Calling 20 times a night when she can’t reach you or you don’t respond to her texts on a Sat night
    – Showing up at your house unannounced in tears when she can’t reach you

    Like

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