The Whisper Approach (Make Girls Melt)

dating as a single father (5)

The whisper approach is one of the most powerful seduction techniques a player can use, but how many of us actually use it?

This technique is a GREAT way to get a sexy girl into you quick and it screams confidence and mystery; both qualities that women melt for. They love the idea of a secret and the intimate nature of whispering.

The first time I saw the whisper approach in a college bar, I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. How the hell did that guy just walk up to that girl he’s never met, whisper SOMETHING in her ear and the next thing I know she’s grinding her phat ass on him?

What he said I’ll never know (little did I know it didn’t matter WHAT was said), so I started to experiment flailing along blindly in the dark. Fortunately for you, you don’t have to do that.

First 5-6 times I was falling flat.

My body language was off and I was hesitant getting up that close to a girl before verbally saying anything.

The problem was I wasn’t congruent with this approach. My body and mind were not working together, in fact, they were working against each other. My body didn’t want to move and my mind was screaming “DON’T BE A FUCKING PUSSY AND SAY SOMETHING!”.

Now before I explain more, I’ll be crystal clear:

This is a Next Level Game move.

If you’re new to game, are still learning how to do regular approaches and don’t feel confident trying it, then don’t. Hold off until you’re relatively comfortable approaching girls ‘regular’ style, then attempt this one.

The Setup

Setting: nightlife

This move can be used a couple of different ways.

  1. Approaching a girl AT the physical bar. She could be ordering a drink, or sipping on one already. Like this:


Odds are there are a couple of knuckle-heads like these two below making it even easier on you.


Or these two who are staring, but doing nothing. The most common aspect of nightlife: guys who look, but won’t approach.


  1. Approaching a girl NOT at the physical bar. She’s on the dance floor, standing in the corner, or surrounded by admirers and friends. This is especially a great move for guys who can dance.

The Mindset

“I have to tell this chick something so special no one else can hear it. It’s so enticing, even raunchy, that I won’t publicly say it too loud because it’s almost bedroom talk”

Now note, that WHAT you’re going to say isn’t dirty, raunchy, or bedroom talk, but having the mindset that you’re going to say something dirty to a complete stranger who you’ve never talked to before, is key. It’ll turn on your swagger and you’ll exude sexuality. The girl will be able to sense it, thus giving you a ‘sexy’ vibe and making the approach work.

Pro-Tip: this might sound complicated now (lots of moving parts), but like anything with game, once you practice it, you’ll master it and then it’s fluid and you won’t even think about it. When I’m out approaching girls, I don’t consciously even think about what I’m going to do; I just do it because I’ve mastered the concept and through thousands of approaches it’s like ‘instinct’.

The Approach

Now that you know the proper mindset, you have to physically MOVE. Here’s where guys generally get conflicted.

They’ll feel amped to approach her and attempt to pull this off, but along the way, something will happen:

  • Another guy approaches her before you get to her
  • A friend of hers starts animatedly talking to her
  • She turns her back
  • She walks away
  • She gets on her phone

If any of these happen, then you can continue your approach, but switch it up into a regular approach, or just abort the mission. It’s not a big deal to abort and you can smoothly transition your approach into a walk that takes you right by her. Like I wrote earlier, this is an advanced move, but to those who try it and are rewarded you’ll feel like you’re in a movie; it’s that enrapturing.

Let’s say none of that happens and your path is clear, then here’s how you should approach her:

  • Confident body language
  • HINT of a smile on your face. Don’t walk up with a shit-eating grin.
  • Fluid motion. Don’t stop in front of herand then lean forward to whisper in her ear. It’s more of a walk up and in one motion sidle up next to her while saying what you’re going to say. In that SAME motion you’re extending your arm/hand out and placing it gently on her lower waist. I’ve found most girls don’t shy away from a hand on their lower back at all. It is 2016 after all.

Here’s a picture of what your final position should look like. Although you can’t see his left arm, you’d have your hand on her lower back. The hand in his pocket I’m not crazy about, but this is the closest picture I could find online of what I’m talking about.


Note that you’ll have to lean SLIGHTLY in (especially if you’re taller than her), but once you say what you’re going to say, then lean back slightly. It’s form of physical push-pull. It’s a bold move to approach like this, so leaning back softens it and helps balance the move off.

What To Say

What you say exactly does not matter.

“What?!” you might be thinking and that’s exactly what I thought when I figured out it DOES NOT MATTER. Whether you introduce yourself, make a humorous comment about your surroundings, or pour it on with a compliment, or tease her, it doesn’t matter. You’ll calibrate in the moment based on her receptiveness to you. The key is all in HOW you do it.

The more confident you are and the more swagger you exude then you might as well walk up and say gibberish.

It’s BECAUSE you had the balls to pull off such a bold approach that gets you in the door.

The way you say anything is where another piece of the puzzle comes into play: you want to say it as though it’s a naughty secret the two of you are sharing. Girls love to be ‘dirty’, they love secrets and they love the idea of a stranger aka a dashing playboy such as yourself, approaching them and giving them a Movie Moment.

What is a Movie Moment: a MM is whenever you bring a touch of cinema into a girl’s real life.

That doesn’t mean stand outside her window and sing to her.

What it means is you do something that is usually only seen in movies. This causes her to come alive, to feel the ‘magic’ between you and her and to have that instant feeling of falling for someone. How many times have you seen in a movie where the lead guy approaches a girl, whispers in her ear and badaboom the scene cuts to them banging in a bathroom?

Just the other night on Vinyl (great new HBO show), the lead character approaches two girls at an outside bar in Vegas, whispers in one of the girl’s ears and just like that, the girls join him and his friend. While that’s a TV show, the move works in real life as well. I’ve done it plenty of times and so have many of my successful coaching students.

The combined move of the bold approach, plus physical touch, plus sexiness of whispering in her ear all adds up to one brilliant move that can be very effective.

Young-man-whispering-into-womans-ear-at-dinner-party (1)

Science and Clublife

When you approach her (without it being physically awkward) whisper into her RIGHT ear and here’s why:

(bold is my emphasis)


“We humans prefer to be addressed in our right ear and are more likely to perform a task when we receive the request in our right ear rather than our left. In a series of three studies, looking at ear preference in communication between humans, Dr. Luca Tommasi and Daniele Marzoli from the University “Gabriele d’Annunzio” in Chieti, Italy, show that a natural side bias, depending on hemispheric asymmetry in the brain, manifests itself in everyday human behavior.

Tommasi and Marzoli’s three studies specifically observed ear preference during social interactions in noisy night club environments.

In the first study, 286 clubbers were observed while they were talking, with loud music in the background. In total, 72 percent of interactions occurred on the right side of the listener. These results are consistent with the right ear preference found in both laboratory studies and questionnaires and they demonstrate that the side bias is spontaneously displayed outside the laboratory.
In the second study, the researchers approached 160 clubbers and mumbled an inaudible, meaningless utterance and waited for the subjects to turn their head and offer either their left of their right ear. They then asked them for a cigarette. Overall, 58 percent offered their right ear for listening and 42 percent their left. Only women showed a consistent right-ear preference. In this study, there was no link between the number of cigarettes obtained and the ear receiving the request.
In the third study, the researchers intentionally addressed 176 clubbers in either their right or their left ear when asking for a cigarette. They obtained significantly more cigarettes when they spoke to the clubbers’ right ear compared with their left.
According to the authors, taken together, these results confirm a right ear/left hemisphere advantage for verbal communication and distinctive specialization of the two halves of the brain for approach and avoidance behavior.”

There you have it. Science once again confirms the gold game knowledge I drop.
Have a great weekend gentlemen, click the banner below to get on this list (MASSIVE news coming soon, plus a badass perk for those on it), get laid and get paid.



Read More: How To Command A Girl’s Attention

9 Replies to “The Whisper Approach (Make Girls Melt)”

  1. Christian, as a total aside to this great blog post, check out the Netflix series Chefs Table, and the 3rd episode on Francis Mallman. His cooking all involves bad-ass outdoors fires, he’s an unstoppable entrepreneur, and always dating much much younger women – true player who looks to drink deeply from life.


  2. First time posting here CM, love the info man! First site I’ve seen by a legit/bona-fide player who can write well and is truly concerned about helping out fellow players and players-in-the-making. Also low key non-arrogant vibe is mad respect bro ! Could you perhaps write a post about a step by step successful night out (texting, meet up, close) from your personal experience and how important logistics are? Maybe you’ve already written a post on this but would be interesting to read.

    Keep up the good work!


  3. Love these weekend game posts. Always get me pumped for something new before going out. Still reference your 11 step preps for a night out. Having a drink, smoke, and listening to some Sinatra while dressing nice really makes you feel in the mood haha. I honestly never thought I would like Sinatra til reading your stuff awhile ago. Leave the EDM for the little boys, playboys keep it classy haha.

    I’ve been reading more and more about mindset and its crazy how relevant it is in literally everything in life. Without mindset your not going to go anywhere is business, with women, or just in life in general. Getting your body and mind on the same page is so key. I’ve had nights where I just felt “on’ and like everything I said and did was straight gold and nights where its like I just can’t get into it. Now I know this is why. The prepping for the night really helps to always be in a great state, at least in my experience. Enjoyed this article, keep up the great work.


  4. Really interesting topic, in my opinion there’s not enough people writing about and discussing advanced practical stuff – this is a refreshing change from the usual basic advice.

    I have used the whisper approach quite a bit since it’s pretty much the default way to approach at a club in my country (Spain) and it’s definitely powerful when done correctly – on the other hand, rejections look quite harsher.

    My biggest issue with this approach is deciding whether or not to show intent during the walk to approach, especially if she’s in a group. Do I walk directly and continue while she (or her friends) are looking at me approaching?

    I’ve tested different ways and the most effective one has been walking towards her but with my eyes on something else (toilet or bar), then pretending to notice her just a 3-4 second distance away and smoothly changing my direction towards her with that hint of a smirk you’ve mentioned.

    I’d then continue the approach +/- as you’ve described.

    Do you think that’s viable pretty much anywhere?


    1. I would take it by a case-by-case basis and yes, I think it would work anywhere. It’s worked for me in the States and if it’s working for you over there, then one could conservatively estimate it works everywhere. Thanks for the comment. I’m always interested in how game techniques are used in other countries.


      1. My pleasure, sir.

        I’ve had this style of technique totally backfire in France a couple times and in the UK more often than it should – could have just been a coincidence/other factors though.

        On the other hand it worked great in Spain, Boston, Ireland and Lithuania for me.

        Guess I’ll give it a go if I’m in L.A 😉


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