When It Has Nothing To Do With You

One of the most common statements I hear by newbies to game is this, “What did I do wrong?” and oftentimes it’s because they were too eager, or too laid back and the girl lost interest and moved on.

But, sometimes it has nothing to do with you.

You could be out in nightlife, at a party, or even chopping it up with a girl during the day who you met at Starbucks, you look great, you feel great and your approach was flawless, but it fell flat with HER.

She might have brushed you off, gave you a legitimate excuse, or lied to your face.

Regardless of what she said, it didn’t work out.

This WILL happen to you and it’ll never stop.

“What?! You mean CMQ, that I’m going to get rejected my entire life by girls??”


The good news is that your rejections will DIMINISH with experience.

You’ll be able to read girls better, see the oh-so-not-subtle signs that are hard for a game newbie to pick up on and your ‘instincts’ will get honed to the point where you’ll rarely get rejected, but you’ll always face rejection with game.

But, here’s the real key if you’re new to game, frustrated with your possible lack of success and damn near going crazy over how some girls have treated you:

Look at the approach in and of itself as the success; not her reaction.

One of the main reasons a guy new to game will get so down on himself is because he gauges his approaches based on HER REACTION to him and whether he gets her number.

Flip the script.

Start looking at the fact that you had the balls to walk up and approach her as the success and guess what will happen?

The pressure will lessen. You’ll be more relaxed and this will help your approaches go better.

Give yourself a pat on the back for even approaching a girl in real life.

Yea, that sounds weak, but think about how many guys hide behind their phones swiping right and are absolutely terrified of approaching in real life. Guess what? You’re better than them because you actually approach in real life. I’m not knocking online dating, but making a point that by you just putting yourself out there is incredible and you should give yourself some credit.

You cannot control people.

You cannot control girls’ reactions to you (in the beginning in particularly. As you advance you can somewhat predict what she’ll say and how she’ll say it, but I’m writing this for game newbies in particularly).

You could be an awesome guy, have a great life, look good, dress good, smell good, but you simply could not be her type. There’s nothing you can do about that.

The reality is you may FEEL like your value is apparent, but maybe it’s time for a long look in the mirror? Maybe what you think is portraying high value really isn’t?

Or maybe she just doesn’t like your look in particular.

Getting offended is normal and congruent for average people, but you’re not wanting to just be average.

You’re not wanting to be offended at every rejection by women, because ‘men’ who are easily offended aren’t men; they’re beta bitch boys.

Which do you want to be?

The girl was perfect, just your type. She even SMILED at you across the cafeteria, but when you approached she looked at you weird and laughed in your face.

What are you supposed to do?

Smirk and walk away. On to the next one.

It’s an old classic saying, but it holds true today even more than ever:

Women are like buses. If you miss one, just wait 10 minutes.

After understanding that sometimes it’s just not you, it’s important to know that persistence is key.

If you’re consistently putting yourself out there and perfecting your game, then you’ll see more success, but it doesn’t happen overnight and you won’t get there without rejections.

Rejection just tells you that you’re alive, you’re trying and to always be improving.

I’ve been rejected thousands of times and will get rejected again. That’s a fact, I’m okay with it and by taking away the ‘power’ that the fear of rejection can hold over you, you free yourself up to take risks and develop your player skills.

If you’ve been hard on yourself lately and wonder what’s wrong with you then take this post to heart, because sometimes it’s simple and it has nothing to do with you.

There are girls who have boyfriends (and are faithful), there are girls who only like a certain type of guy and then there are girls who enjoy munching carpet and don’t like cock.

Keep it moving.

Read More: The #1 Reason Your Game Might Be Stuck

5 Replies to “When It Has Nothing To Do With You”

  1. Hey Christian,
    I was wanting to know if you or any guys you know have done game both out West and in Europe? What’s the general consensus on that?


    1. Eastern European girls are far more fragile and have less need to be “gamed”. There is zero need to run any sort of extreme tactics like push-pull, etc. At least not at nuclear levels. Often times, just being a strong and confident man is more than enough. And CMQ is right, a lot of the sarcasm will fly over their head because their culture and language is much more literal.

      Western European girls can go either way.

      The true cream of the crop EE girls need unshakeable confidence and frame though, that you can only get through truly developing yourself into a great man.


  2. This is tangential to your topic but a relevant illustration in my experience.

    Interspersed with other careers, I spent over 20 years in hospitality. In my final years, after I had made a decision to get out and was doing stuff to do so, I had come to a place where I really didn’t care if people tipped well or not. I was just in it to do the best job I could for each individual customer.

    What I found was that overall, my customers were more expressively satisfied with my service to them, AND my income increased.

    That was my first experience with outcome independence.


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