About every week I get emails from readers asking me to write a post on bottle service and how it all works. Not the standard basic bullshit advice that ‘expert’s dispense as fast as a crack dealer in Baltimore, but some really insider knowledge from the #1 Nightlife Game Coach in the world.
Yes, that’s me.
If you disagree, then pick a night and club in any city in the world and let’s go head to head. I’ve offered many times to go head to head with ‘expert’ game coaches and all I ever get is crickets. Odd, isn’t it?
Well, now it’s time. I’m opening the ‘vault’ to my brain and dropping a load of knowledge from over a decade of being in involved in nightlife game, club co-ownership, promoting and VIP hosting. I know clubs better than I know my own cock, so you’re in good hands.
Let’s do this.
1Oak Los Angeles Bottle Service girls…
Alright, table game is something that I’d consider myself somewhat of an expert.
Not bragging, but I’ve had personally (or been at) easily hundreds of tables of tables in my life.
There’s a right way and a wrong way.
The Wrong Way
Few dudes get a table, but none of them have game.
They sit at their table and TALK about all the girls at the club, but don’t approach, or even tip the host and/or bottle waitress to bring them girls.
What usually happens is a few ‘bottle rats’ aka girls who like free booze, but probably are not putting out, will linger close to the guys table. You can spot this a mile away with experience. As soon as the bottles hit the table surface, they make a beeline over to the table and dance or huddle a couple of feet away hoping the schlubs will invite them to have a drink.
Let’s say the guys do invite them.
The girls thirstily suck down drinks while the scared guys awkwardly stand there like it’s a high school dance. They MIGHT try to make conversation, but the experienced bottle rats know how to play them like a fiddle and do so. These are the same bitches trying to get Hermes purses from older rich dudes in exchange for their company.
The only winners in this scenario are the girls.
They drink for free and once the bottles are empty they rinse and repeat with another table.
These are the cats who are bitching and moaning at the end of the night because they dropped 4 stacks and have nothing to show for it.
I’d say around 85% of guys do this with tables. It’s mind-blowing. I see it all the time in every major city in the US.
The Right Way
Let’s say you have game, your boys are okay, but aren’t deadly players. You guys have dough, so each dropping a stack isn’t a big deal.
The PLACEMENT of your table is just as important as having a table.
All tables are not equal.
If your table is in the back of the club (let’s say Hakkasan in Vegas) where it’s almost an overflow crowd, compared to having a dance floor table, then it’s not as high status.
It’s not a matter of it being prudent to get bottles: EVERYONE knows that they’re ‘overpaying’ for the bottles, but therein lies the point: it’s like saying to the clubgoers “I have so much money I could give 2 fucks about how much it costs, I’m doing it BECAUSE I CAN”.
That’s why bottle poppin’ has become so popular in clubs in terms of status and seeing who can outdo each other. I’ve seen ‘competitions’ start between tables in the club where one baller sees another table ordering more bottles or more expensive liquors, so they tell their waitress to bring them more in order to outdo them.
The bottle bitches are wise to this fact and will even pit tables against each other, like “Sooo you know the table right there just ordered 2 bottles of Rose…” because it means more money for them. Most tips are actually INCLUDED now on tables, so the bottle bitch knows it’s about getting them to order more and more.
The Different Tiers of Bottle Buyers
Comped Tables: these are promoters who get a couple of bottles for bringing in girls. This is easily the most effective way to pull chicks from the club. For you guys who are struggling with approach anxiety, do yourself a favor and become a promoter. You’re NOT doing it for a living or a career, but just to get pussy. If you make money, cool, but don’t get into it for that. This will FORCE you to approach girls, but you have the perfect excuse, “Where are you girls going tonight? You don’t know? Cool, you can come with me, I have a table”. Game. Set. Match. I’ve never known a promoter (besides one actually but he’s hopeless game wise) that wasn’t swimming in pussy.
Note: many celebs like Chris Brown here in LA get comped tables constantly, so just because it’s a celeb doesn’t mean they’re dropping a dime. You will find baaaad bitches at these tables, but pulling them off can be a headache due to their infatuation with snapping IG photos and their hope that the celeb will pick them. Ha.
Mid-Tier Tables: these are the cats who might be in town visiting and will charge the table on their corporate cards. It’s usually a couple of guys who are solidly dressed, but don’t get out much due to being married, mortgage, kids etc. They’ll get a bottle or two and are pretty low-key on average.
Baller Tables: these are the Dan Bilzerian types, Drug Dealers and millionaires who love to party. The hottest girls are USUALLY at these tables. The bigger and better the bottles usually the hotter girls. If you become friends with these type of cats all you need to do is show up and the DHV does the rest. Spit chill game at the table and there you go.
Alright, back to the cats with some game who get a table…
Let’s say they get a solid table that’s in a good spot in the club. By good spot I’m talking about everyone can see it for the most part. The more visible your table is, the higher DHV, i.e. why the DJ stage tables are always the most coveted.
The key is to get settled in and then go out in the club and approach as normal.
It’s easy as fuck. Walk up to the girls you find most attractive and all you have to say is:
“Come to my table”
Sure you can start off without that line etc, but it really is that easy. If you’re overthinking this, then DON’T, you’re wasting your brain cells.
When you get em back to your table it’s all about the ENERGY and VIBE that YOU produce at the table. Most tables look boring because most people sit there like idiots on their phones.
Pour shots INTO the girls mouths. Have fun with it.
One of my favorite things to do is pick up the bottle and say “shots!”, then beeline the bottle to the girl beside me.
THEY KNOW WHAT IS UP. 95% of the time they will lean their head back and open their mouth.
Note: don’t get crazy with the pour and count silently if you have to: 4 seconds = 1 oz of alcohol aka 1 shot. Pour it into all their mouths. Some might resist, just smile and say “Open up darling”. If she still resists, then shrug and move to the next one.
A GREAT line I came up with a while back to use when you’re pouring these shots into their mouths is this:
“Cup the balls”
They will all laugh and generally one of the girls will motion her hand around the base of the bottle like she’s cupping balls.
This is great because from the jump you’re BEING SEXUAL and SHOWING INTENT. This sets the FRAME from the start.
After that, don’t be sitting on your fucking phone.
Engage everyone at the table.
Stand up if you find yourself getting lethargic. If you do sit, sit on the BACK of the couch with your feet resting where you would sit.
This creates a vibe that you are the KING of your table and you’re HOLDING COURT with your bitches and buds.
Then game as usual. You can take a chick from your table for a quick smoke (if you can’t at the table) which is a great time to makeout etc. Then bring her back to the table and continue partying.
The key takeaway from having a table is this: if you have game, then it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. This is NOT a guarantee you will always get laid, but it definitely helps. If you DON’T have game and you get a table, you’ll get attention, but you more than likely will NOT get laid.
Club Pro-Tips (thank me later or Buy DIMES now)
1. When you approach the girls away from your table with that line I dropped above you want to ALWAYS TAKE HER HAND AND LEAD HER BACK TO YOUR TABLE.
This creates a sexual vibe as well and shows ‘ownership’ to the rest of the club that these bad bitches are with YOU. It also shows the girls you’re an alpha who goes for what he wants. Trouble moving through the crowd with your gaggle of chikadees?
Turn the flashlight on your iPhone ON and flash it in front of you with one hand while leading the girls behind you with your other hand. Clubgoers will think you’re either a host, or employee and the Red Sea parts. Bottle bitches, security and bussers do this, so it’s instinct to clubgoers to move when they see a flashlight.
2. If you think the girls are lame, then be a boss and tell them to leave your table. Better yet what I do is have security to tell them to leave. Take a bathroom break and when you get back viola they’re gone. This way you avoid conflict. You should be tipping security by your table anyway. Then rinse and repeat and go get more chicks.
3. Take care of the busser. That dude cleaning up the table and bringing fresh OJ and cranberry juice will save your ass i.e. hand you condom when you need it, light your cig making you look like the boss you are, etc. It doesn’t have to be much, a Jackson-er (should I call that a Tubman now?) will do it, but it goes really far because many tables treat them like hired help.
Taking it to another level here’s where Table Game takes a step up:
Top tier chicks in major cities like LA, MIA and NYC are hard to impress, so don’t try to.
If she’s a bad biddy then she’s prolly popped bottles with Drake when he dropped $250,000 at Tao Vegas some time ago. You ain’t competing with that so don’t even try. Use the table as your light bait and to show some DHV and use GAME to get her hooked.
Don’t get caught up in feeling like you have to spend tons of dough to make your table cool.
You know who makes your table cool? YOU. The energy and vibe you bring. That doesn’t mean you have to be an idiot bouncing up and down, but I’m talking about a POSITIVE and FUN vibe. That will make or break your table.
Lastly, the best nights of my life out have been with bottle service.
Those who knock it, I believe just haven’t had an incredible experience with it yet.
Taking it up another notch, bottle service is a great way to get ‘in’ with owners and before you know it you’re in the DJ booth on the mic doing shoutouts.
There’s one club in particular in Hollywood that I do that almost every time I go. I had a couple clients who had NEVER been in a club and I got them on the mic. They were thrilled to say the least and will never forget that.
Those moments make nightlife a fucking blast.
So there you go, everything you need to know about bottle service in about 2,000 words. Cheers to your Ace!
My masterpiece is ready to help you get the hottest girls of your life. Period.
Don’t fuck around and upgrade your women.
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