Many moons ago us ‘old’ players did this odd thing called “Cold Approaching”.
What’d we do is, is go out into the world, see a random pretty girl who gave us a rustle in our britches and then walk up and *gasp* talk to her.
We’d say things like, “Hey” and “What’s your name?” and other foreign phrases that go unused.
Over time those phrases have changed into, “You look different then your pictures…” and “Oh…you’re the OTHER girl in your profile photo”.
Now before everyone reading this gets into a fury over this post, understand me loud and clear:
I have nothing against Tinder…
But, I’m noticing a trend that’s damaging to men when it comes to the Tinder fad.
I’ll get to that in a moment, but right now, I’ll make a point about online dating in general:
IF you must use it at all, it’s best used as a supplement to your cold approaching game.
If you start to rely on it, your approaching skills will become rusty.
Sure, you’ll get ‘fed’, but as easy as it is to order a shitty pizza that leaves you lethargic and unhealthy, the same way Tinder can cause you to lose your game muscles.
My opinion on this topic is based on of thousands of approaches, hundreds of notches and countless coaching clients who have come to me crippled by their unhealthy reliance on online dating needing a solution. And yes, I was on Tinder for a couple of weeks some time back and destroyed it. I get the allure. I get the ‘easiness’ of it, however, in that short amount of time I also found some starting discoveries that made me quickly get the fuck off the app and go back to cold approaching only.
I’m sure some of you will get upset, unfollow my Twitter (only to re-follow me later, really what is up with people doing that? Screams beta bitch behavior), leave my forum and never read my blog again.
Yawn. I’m in the truth-telling business. The truth will set you free from the shackles of mediocrity.
But, do know that I’m not writing this based on disrespect of those who use it. Do what YOU have to do, but read this more as a cautionary tale of what CAN happen if a player relies only on online game, specifically Tinder to get dates and sex.
10 Reasons Why Tinder Is Destroying Your Game
#10. Your Standards Start To Dip
Let’s say it’s dinner time and your choices are to take some time to grill a nice steak medium-rare, boil some broccoli and cut a lemon for your water. It’s fair to say it’ll take some time, correct?
The other choice is to order a quick pizza that you can get delivered in HALF the time it takes to grill the steak, plus you don’t have to do dishes, or clean up the kitchen.
What is the easier choice?
What choice is more nourishing and satisfying?
If you can get that just okay 7 to come over for sex, then why should you approach that 9 in the grocery store?
#9. You Can’t Handle Rejection As Well
When a man becomes reliant on a dating app like Tinder, he’ll quickly realize that his standards start to dip, but he’ll justify it because it’s much easier to get rejected by a ‘9’ on Tinder, then a 9 in real life.
“She didn’t swipe right when she saw me? Eh she probably was driving and made a mistake”
I’ve had many guys say to my face that it’s easier to deal with rejection on Tinder, then real life, thus why they use it.
Nuff said. No risk, no reward. Hiding behind a screen terrified of approaching is a surefire way to never develop real game skills.
#8. Your Cold Approach Technique Becomes Stagnant
What happens if you don’t workout consistently?
Your muscles start to atrophy, you lose strength and that great physique you once had, correct?
Same with game. If you never approach, or even rarely approach in real life anymore due to your dependence on Tinder, then don’t be surprised when your approach skills start to nosedive.
Maybe you don’t care. Maybe all you really care about is fast and ‘easy’ sex. In that case, do you, but this article is for men who don’t want to be average.
The reality is that you cannot be a great player if you never cold approach.
Getting laid on Tinder doesn’t make you a great player. It just means you’re doing what every other guy in the world is doing; being average.
#7. The Allure You Have With A Girl From Cold Approaching Is Squashed By A Tinder Swipe
Being another guy on Tinder does jackshit for your value to women.
A common phrase I’ve been hearing more and more as of late from sexy chickadees I cold approach, is this:
I’m so shocked you approached me. That’s so sexy! You must have a ton of confidence. Guys don’t approach me anymore; they just stare…”
The allure you have over a girl when you make her fantasy come to life of meeting a cool stranger at a coffee shop, on the beach, in a club, or at a house party is destroyed by the inauthentic swipe of your finger. Trust me, she’s not dying to tell her girlfriends she met a guy off of Tinder.
Unless you look like Brad Pitt, she’ll probably be as eager to meet you for that ‘special’ Tinder date as she is to go get her asshole bleached, but yet cats keep wondering why chicks keep flaking…
#6. You’ll Lose Respect For Yourself
How do get real confidence?
By taking on a challenge and conquering it.
Do you feel a challenge swiping on Tinder while taking a shit?
Does it make you feel a sense of adventure?
Do you find that it makes your game even better with women because all of the talent it takes to swipe right directly correlates to how good your game is once you meet her?
#5. You’ll Lose The Spark of Game
The rush you get from cold approaching either during the day, or at night, is dare I say it, ‘magical’. Maybe you don’t give a fuck about that feeling and that’s perfectly okay, but if you enjoy that rush, that feeling of almost having super powers, then you’ll find that online game will slowly start to take that way from you.
Don’t lose the spark that game has gifted you. Not everyone will feel that. It’s a privilege.
#4. You’ll Get Crushed By Guys Who Have Real Game
Two guys walk in a bar.
One of the guys uses Tinder to get laid, but decided to go out for once.
The other guy rarely uses Tinder and instead pulls by approaching girls HE wants.
They both spot a gorgeous dime and they make a beeline for her.
The Tinder guy opens his mouth, but nothing comes out but a bunch of gibberish (at the same damn time Eminem’s Lose Yourself song starts playing).
The smooth cat who gets girls he wants by approaching them like a man, opens his mouth and melts the dime with his words.
Guess who she leaves with?
#3. The Sex Isn’t As Good
Now before you chuck your coffee cup at your computer screen understand two things:
- That coffee is only going to fuck up YOUR screen
- It’s true
I don’t know why this is, but I chalk it up to something happening in the mating ‘dance’ of the cold approach to taking the girl home where it intensifies the sex.
This was my experience from when I used online dating for two weeks and years of cold approach one night stands.
If this isn’t the case for you, then fuckit, but I’ve seen it to be true from a poll I ran on Twitter as well. The majority of the guys who voted stated that sex from approaching was better than online dating sex.
Once again, maybe you don’t care, but these are my thoughts on this subject…
#2. The Skills You Develop From Cold Approaching Carry Over Into Your Social Life and Day To Day Interactions
This one is big.
Guy becomes reliant on an app to get laid.
All of sudden he finds himself mumbling at work meetings, avoiding eye contact in public and overall losing any kind of presence he once had, all because he’s only allowing himself to live first, through an electronic medium and not first living in the real world and letting the app supplement his already great life.
Let that sink in…
#1. If You’re An Introvert You’ll Never Get Control Of It Using Tinder
Online dating apps/websites are supposed to help introverted people meet other people. In fact, way the fuck back in the day that’s what they were used for.
If you’re introverted, but you want to CONQUER feeling nervous and lessen having that intense anxiety when you see a pretty girl in real life, then the ONLY way to do that is to build that approach muscle.
Is that harsh? Nah, it’s just the truth.
Remember, at some point we gotta throw the milk out and chomp down on some damn meat.
This is the meat.
#1. Tinder saves me money!
How the hell did broke people pre-internet days date and fuck? You don’t have to spend money to approach and you don’t have to spend money on dates. Read about Broke Game here.
#2. I STILL approach in real life.
Good. This article isn’t about you. It’s for the cats who are relying almost entirely on Tinder to get their balls slurped on.
#3. Tinder is great! I met my now girlfriend on there!
I met her on there too. 🙂
#4. Quality girls aren’t in the club, bars, or at parties!
But they’re on Tinder? My bad.
Hate me now?
Just kind of hate me?
Leave a comment below blowing off steam, or actually adding to this article.