(Christian here. Today’s post is a guest post from Dave Perrotta from PostGradCasanova.com. Don’t forget to snag his new book, Conversation Casanova, at the end of the article for just 99 cents before the price jumps in a few days.)
How do your conversations with a woman usually go?
Do they turn stale before you have a chance to connect with her?
Do they fizzle out before you can spark her sexual interest?
Or do they naturally progress and become more sexual, until you make your move and bring her home?
For most guys, the first two scenarios are all too common.
But for the advanced guy, the last scenario is comfortably familiar. That’s because he knows how to lead the conversation to sex.
He talks with a purpose. Women appreciate this and follow his lead, and eventually end up in bed with him in a few hours.
Once you know how to lead the conversation to sex, you’ll start having a lot more sex with the women you desire (and stop having boring conversations that lead to nowhere).
So, how do you lead the conversation to sex? There are 3 main steps in the process…
Let’s dive in…
1. Get Sexual from the Start
Most women decide if they’d be open to sleeping with you within seconds of meeting you.
In their head, men are usually categorized as “Eww! No way!” or “Mmm…maybe!”
When you get sexual from the start, you position yourself firmly in the second category. That way, they never mistake you as the “just a friend” type of guy (this is very hard to recover from). They know immediately that you’re comfortable being sexual around women.
And so, they know that sex is a possibility with you.
Here’s how to get sexual from the start…
Exhibit a Sexy Vibe
Once you develop a sexy vibe around women, you’ll notice that women look at you in a different way, are more open to spontaneous adventures with you (like casual sex), and are instantly sexually attracted to you.
To exhibit a sexy vibe, you need to do the following:
• Talk slower. When you slow down your speech, you convey power and confidence. Plus, what you say seems more important.
• Move slower. Simply walking slowly and smiling will make women notice you, and they’ll start giving you approach invitations.
• Pause at the right time. A well-timed pause builds sexual tension, allows her to invest and talk about herself, and puts you in control of the pace of the conversation.
• Hold sexy eye contact. Gaze into her right eye for the majority of the conversation. Occasionally, look at her eyes, then down to her mouth, then back up to her eyes – in a triangle formation. This is a great way to show interest in her.
• Master your sexy smile. Smile with one side of your mouth a little more than the other, and show very little teeth.
• Speak with a deeper tone of voice. Practice speaking from your belly and projecting your voice.
Get Close to Her
As a general rule, the closer, the better.
You see, as you decrease the distance between you, the level of intention and intimacy increases. From there, it’s much easier to lead the conversation to sex.
So, how do you close the proximity? There are a few easy ways to do this…
• Always sit next to her on a date. When you’re having drinks with her for a date, always aim to sit at the bar with her. This way, you can sit next to her rather than across from her.
• Talk in her ear, and bounce out. This is key, especially in loud venues. Lean in and speak into her ear while lightly touching her elbow. Then, when you’re done talking, bounce out to hear her response. In doing so, you close the proximity, but also give her room to breathe. Then, the next time you lean in and talk in her ear, it’s even more powerful.
• Face her head-on instead of at an angle. When you face her head on, it’s more intimate and flirtatious.
Physical touch is crucial to making a connection, and it’s also crucial to making things sexual.
You should be touching her early and often.
According to “Courtship compliance: The effect of touch on women’s behavior,” by Nicolas Guéguen, touch increases a woman’s compliance to a man’s request. It was found that women are more likely to give their number out to men who touch them.
But you need to use physical touch the right way. Here’s how:
• Touch her in the right places. The best places to touch her are her elbow, upper arm, and the small of her back.
• Touch her early in the conversation. The easiest way to do this is with a handshake and an introduction. By touching her immediately, you set a flirtatious tone for the conversation. You’ve broken the “physical barrier”.
• Touch her at high points. For example, touch her when the two of you are laughing or when she’s agreeing with you. That way, she’ll associate positive feelings with your touch.
2. Get Her Comfortable With You
It’s important to make things sexual – but unless you can make her comfortable with you, you’ll find it difficult to bring her home.
That’s because she doesn’t trust you yet. You’re just a fun, sexy, flirty conversation. But once you get her comfortable with you, that all changes.
When you can do that, you have a whole lot more leverage with women. That’s when you can do crazy shit like fuck a girl in the club bathroom, lead her easily, and bring her home on the first date.
So, how do you get her comfortable with you? You must understand how to connect with her on a deeper level.
Connect With Her
“How do I get past small talk and connect with a girl?”
This thought has been on every guy’s mind at some point…
Even if you start the conversation well, you still need to get to know her. You still need to get beyond the basic “stuff” like where she’s from and what she thinks of the weather.
You need to stir up some emotions.
Otherwise, women will flake on you a lot, forget about you quickly, and never feel like they actually know you.
(All of which are terrible if you want to lead the conversation to sex.)
So, how can you beat small talk, make the conversation flow, and build a connection?
It’s a combination of the following:
• Ask the right questions. Ask her open-ended questions that revolve around emotional topics, like her experiences, her dreams, her passions, etc.
• Listen and relate. When she’s telling you about herself, actively listen to her, and relate back to her responses. Provide some sort of feedback, even if it’s as simple as repeating back what she said.
• Avoid common conversation mistakes. The more you get past small talk, the more risks you will take in conversations, and the more potential mistakes you will be exposed to. You need to annoying conversation mistakes like bragging, getting married to one conversation topic, and focusing on facts instead of emotions.
3. Close the Deal
You’ve gotten sexual from the start and made her comfortable around you. That’s great, but it’s still not enough.
You see, she’s not going to giftwrap her pussy and lead you to the bedroom (at least, not usually). You need to take initiative and lead her. Otherwise, the conversation will eventually fizzle out and you’ll be left with your dick in your hand.
The good news is, she’s rooting for you. She wants you to sweep her off her feet, show her a good time, and fuck her like she’s never been fucked before.
She wants you to say the right things so she can follow your lead. You just need to make it easy for her and not fuck it up. That’s what closing the deal is all about.
Here’s what you must do to close the deal with her and move the conversation to sex…
Figure Out Her Logistics
Her logistics are:
• What part of town she lives in
• How she got to the venue
• Who she came with
• What she’s doing afterwards
• What she has to do tomorrow
If the logistics are bad, you’ll have a hell of a time trying to lead the conversation to sex.
For example, let’s say you’re looking to bring a girl home from the club and have sex tonight.
You hit it off with one girl, but she lives 30 minutes away, came with her friends, and has to work at 8am the next day. These logistics are not in your favor. If you want to bring a girl home the same night, you should move on.
Then, you meet another girl. She lives nearby, came with a group of people, has no plans for afterwards, and doesn’t work tomorrow. Now these are some logistics you can work with.
Her logistics are crucial, and you need to know how to figure them out without being creepy.
You can do that by weaving the logistics questions into the conversation (you can and should start weaving them in from the start).
For example, if she introduces you to her friends, you can ask, “Did you guys all come here together?” If she tells you about her work, you can ask, “So you live and work here in the city?” If you want to figure out if she’s free afterwards, you can suggest, “Let’s get some food after this, I know a great taco spot nearby.” If she agrees or says “Maybe,” then you know she has no big plans afterwards.
Keep Moving Things Forward
By moving things forward, you keep the emotions rolling on a high note.
On a conversational level, this means being aware of when a topic is becoming stale or when it’s finishing, and moving to a different topic.
On a physical level, this means making the first move and not staying in one place for hours at a time.
For example, if you’ve been dancing with a girl for a while, take her hand and say, “let’s go get a drink,” or simply, “let’s go over there.” And then, move her to the bar/different location within the bar. Continue to move her around throughout the night and keep things fresh.
Go for the Pull
Okay, now it’s time to officially close the deal and move the conversation to sex.
This is the part where you bring her back to her place, your place, or some other location where sex is possible.
There are a few key elements to the way you pull her back:
• Give an excuse. You shouldn’t say, “Let’s go back to my place and fuck,” because this will sound off her “slut” alarm. In other words she won’t be able to rationalize going home with you. Instead, you should say something subtler, like, “Let’s go for tacos down the street,” or “Let’s go around the corner for some drinks.” Once she agrees and leaves with you, you can say, “I live around the corner, you want to stop by there and have a drink?” This is much easier for her to agree to, and she can tell herself, “I’m just going back for a drink,” even if she knows in her head that she’s going back to have sex with you.
(Note: Always respect her preferences and don’t mislead women. The “subtle excuse” is just a way to manage her emotions so she doesn’t feel bad about doing something she already wants to do.)
• Keep the logistics in mind. The logistics will determine where you bring her. If you literally live around the corner, you can ask, “Want to get out here and get a drink?” then, walk her back to your place. If she lives nearby, you can say, “Want to go back to your place and I can show you that YouTube video I told you about?”
If you don’t actively lead your conversations, your sex life will be mediocre. Your interactions and success with women will be completely dependent on “chance.” That’s a recipe for failure (and it will kill your ability to attract the hottest women).
Instead, use the strategies here to lead your conversations to sex.
In doing so, you’ll spend less time in BS conversations, and more time in the bedroom with sexy girls.
You can grab Dave’s NEW book, Conversation Casanova, for just 99 cents HERE or click the banner below:
P.S. Is your game on ‘Stuck Mode’? Frustrated and need expert coaching to help you get you more dates with hotter girls? Go here to get help.