As men we are largely judged in society by our level of confidence. This isn’t a good or bad thing, it’s just the way it is.
If you were born with a built-in high belief system in yourself, then you might have found that getting women to become attracted to you and making friends in general has come easy to you, but for most men, having real concrete confidence is something that has to be built and oftentimes it’s difficult to do.
Building that confidence is crucial to becoming a man in demand by employers, friends and of course, women.
Many years ago my confidence was rocked by a bad relationship.
We’ve all had one of those.
Everything appears on the surface to be going great, but then it’s like the relationship ‘rug’ was jerked out from underneath us and our world comes crashing down.
One day you’re in love and everything is right with the world and the next day the woman you love tells you, “I’m just not in love with you anymore”.
It can be devastating.
It can crush you, IF you do not have incredible confidence.
As I picked up the pieces of my life after that one particularly brutal relationship, I realized that she wasn’t the problem: I was.
I had built my life around her, instead of building up my life first and foremost and then being a complete man whether in a relationship or not.
If you look for someone to complete your happiness (whether you’re a man, or a woman), then you will never really truly happy, because if they go, so goes your happiness.
I realized that my confidence was built on EXTERNAL aspects of my life and wasn’t coming from the INSIDE.
While I was the complete ‘package’ on the outside, my inner beliefs were limited and my confidence wasn’t real.
I started to build that inner incredible confidence in two ways and here they are:
- I realized that rejection was my friend.
As a man it’s very easy to look at rejection as a bad thing and who likes to be rejected?
However, rejection is essential to your development into becoming the best man you can be.
Just like a diamond is refined by going through fire, so your character is strengthened by adversity and yes, that adversity could be getting rejected for the third straight time that night in the nightclub.
What you learn from accepting rejection is that it won’t really hurt you.
You are tougher than letting a complete stranger ruin your night because you might have not been her type.
You are tougher than letting a flaked date cause you to feel worthless.
You have inherent value and that leads me to my second point…
2. You must give yourself permission to believe.
It’s easy to give ourselves permission to think negative thoughts, have limiting beliefs and an overall negative outlook on our life, but do you realize how powerful it is to give yourself permission to believe in what you are doing right and how great you really are?
When you give yourself permission to believe that you have real worth as a person then you allow others to see you in a different light.
When you start to believe in yourself, despite your physical ‘flaws’, your shortcomings and those oh so annoying failures, then it starts to be reflected on the outside to women and even men.
All of a sudden your shoulders aren’t slumping anymore, thus your body language becomes that of a high status man.
All of a sudden your speech is less halting and quiet, because you’re owning your space and speaking as a man who has something to say that’s important.
Your speech and body language are incredibly important to the opposite sex in terms of attraction and even in the workplace you’ll find that your co-workers will take you more seriously because you have given yourself permission to be confident. This can translate into more money (raise at work), more dates and even more friends.
Without starting from scratch and building real concrete confidence from the INSIDE, then you’ll find that you’re just putting on an act to the world and eventually the house of cards will collapse.
Build real confidence by giving yourself permission to move forward from past mistakes and have belief in your bright future. Your life will change and you will be on track to becoming the best man you can be.
Start building your confidence here right now.